Death's Kat

After the nurse Meg checked me all over she left without a word leaving me alone. Sighing I rub the back of my neck thinking about what Death had told me. It is going to be hard to get back into my routine before everything happened.

The door opens slowly to reveal both parents standing there with horror on their faces. From the expressions on their faces they weren’t happy to see me alive, just a guess. Father‘s eyes are red either from the lack of sleep or from crying. Usually his face holds a red tint to it from a hard day of work but right now it is as whites as the sheets on the bed.

“Hi Dad,” my voice waves a little.

“Kitty,” the word is a sob. He runs across the room warping his arms quickly around my shoulders. “I thought that I had lost you.” The sobs come.

“I’m right here Dad and I’m not going anywhere I promise.” I lie. After high school I once again die in a way.

“M…..my… ba…baby …girl,” his words are low and cracked because of the sobs. Thinking about what to do, I slowly warp my arms around his waist.

“Dad it’s alright clam down,” I say while I rub his back a little.

Mom stands in the doorway not moving or even breathing from the looks of it. She just stands there with a blank expression on her face. Is this too much for her?

“Jane come here,” Dad turns to her. “Aren’t you happy that she’s alive?”

“You should be dead,” the words are low but I can hear them crystal clear.

“Jane what did you say?” Dad stands up without letting go of my hand. I know Dad heard her, but just wants to make sure. “Why would you say something like that?”

“Because no one lives after drowning like she did. Yes I was happy that the doctors brought her back, but I thought that she would have been dead by the time we got here tomorrow. She can’t be alive.”

“Do you have any idea what you are saying, Jane? You want our daughter to be dead?” Dad stands now in my view of mom. Is it wrong that I am back?

“Mom,” the word hangs in the air frozen in time.

“Don’t you ever call me that.” Anger fills her voice. “My daughter died at moment she drowned. Tom I am to the car and you better me there in ten minutes or else I am leaving you.” She turns to leave but stops and shouts over her shoulder. “Make sure that thing stays here I don’t want it in my house, what would the neighbors think.”

Both Dad and I watch as she disappears out the door. Why should I even care what she thinks? This is the first time I my life that I remember her ever talking so much about me, it has always been about Mark.

“Well she can go home, I‘m staying right here for a while.” Dad says.

“But she’s your ride home, isn’t she?”

“Don’t worry I can call one of the guys at the station to come get us. Besides I have an apartment that she doesn’t know about.” He winks at me.

“What apartment?” Has something happened between my parents?

“I rent an apartment so that I can get away from her sometimes. I love your mother but sometimes she drives me up the wall.” He gives a short laugh but looks at the floor. He’s hiding something from me.

“I got a question for you. Why is it every time Mark and I get home from school you guys always talk to Mark not me? You never listen to what I say.” This was something I’ve been dying to ask.

“I don’t know Kitty, but things are going to change that I promise you.” He rubs a thumb across my cheek. “Well, let me call one of the guys.” He steps out of the room to make a phone call. The phone call doesn’t long.

“Dad what’s wrong?” The question swarms the air like angry bees. “What’s going on between you and mom?”

Rubbing the back of his hand Dad doesn’t look at me but only at the ground. “Well for the past few years we’ve grown apart and I wanted to end the marriage. She flipped out on me saying that if I left then everything would be my fault if Mark quit sports or school. Remember those nights I said that I had to work late?” I nod waiting for him to go on. “Well that was just me trying to leave everyone behind. But I couldn’t, every time I tried to leave town. The thoughts of Mark and you would pop into my head and a voice would say ‘why are you leaving them’. I just cannot take living with her anymore.

“Dad is the only reason you stayed was for Mark?”

“I hate to say this but yes, he is the reason why. Kitty I’m so sorry that I’ve never been there for you throughout the years…..I…… just……..” He drops his voice down low. “I don’t know what really happened that made me forget about you. I remember the day you were born, I was there for that. Doctors said that you were too small to live through the night and that broke our hearts. Your mom and I stay up all night with you praying to God that you would live. I had left the room to get us something to eat and when I came back something happened to your mom. Nurses were holding her down on the bed while she screamed that you aren’t her baby. Ever since that day things took a turn for the worse.” Dad gives me a small smile.

“So in other words I lived and she didn’t want that,” I can hear the sorrow in my voice.

“Well let’s not talk about that right now. The nurses are going to check you all over so we can get out of here. Katherine I am so happy that you are still with us,” a light kiss is place on my head as a nurse walks in.

I was never meant to live.