Nobody, Not Even the Rain Has Such Small Hands

I can't do this and I feel like a failure, mostly because I thought that this was behind me.
Seeing someone who looks so much like he did must have brought all these old memories to the surface.
I can feel my father's hands moving over my body, resting against my breast.
"It's our secret, okay?"
And it's almost like I'm young again, sitting on his bed watching him comb his hair back after he's just showered. I can see in my mind him coming over to me, placing a hand on my thigh.
"Did you miss me while I was at work, Maddy?"
My naive self would simply nod in agreement as he would snicker to himself and allow his hand to travel up my thigh.
Tony has no clue what's racing through my mind, but him being here accompanied with the way his hand slides up and down my back makes me feel better. He doesn't even seem the least bit disappointed, and it makes me fall for him that much more. I rest my head against him and try to focus my attention on the way I can feel his stomach puff out with each inhale, and then decrease when he exhales.
It's not that the memories are completely avoided just because Tony's here, he only makes things easier. He's like my own personal remedy, a way to be numb without causing further harm to myself. I want to stay locked up in my own bubble here for as long as I can.
I can still see the way my father would wrap his arms around me so his hands would brush my chest, playing out in my mind as if I'm watching from another's perspective.
I roll onto my stomach and look down at him, laying on the floor on his back. He can't be comfortable and for some reason his obvious discomfort bothers me.
"I'm sorry if that was too much."
His voice is full of empathy and I'm left not sure what to say. I hadn't been expecting an apology, but it makes him that much more attractive to me. I wrack my brain for a way to show him that it wasn't anything he did. The stupid 'it's not you, it's me' cliche.
"Maddy? Are you okay?" he asks after a few minutes of drawn out silence. I rest my hand against his chest and lean down to place a small kiss on his cheek to tell him that I'm fine.

"Good morning," I say as I enter the kitchen to see Vic sitting alone at the table. I go over and claim the chair opposite him. He looks up and gives me a weak smile.
"How'd you sleep?"
"Fine," he says simply before looking down into his cup. "Is Tony here?"
The question catches me off guard. A few seconds go by before I answer. "Yeah. He's still asleep."
He nods and goes back to sipping his coffee. "You guys have been spending a lot of time together." There's something in his voice I can't place. I've never heard him sound this way before.
Not sure where he's going with this, I say a hesitant, "yeah... We're pretty close."
"Why didn't you tell me?" He wastes no time playing around what he really wants to ask me, and it's evident in the tone of his voice. He looks up and our eyes meet, but his expression is cold.
"That Tony and I are friends?" I ask, confused.
"I know you guys are together. Why didn't you tell me?" he repeats. I can tell he's growing more and more impatient.
Taken back, I just look at him for a few seconds. "I didn't think it mattered."
"Is it because of Cara?"
I don't want to bring Jaime into this because it wouldn't make things better for anyone. Instead, I begin with, "I know it's been hard lately." When he doesn't say anything I go on, "I didn't want you to feel like I came here and abandoned you for Tony." I'm only going to be honest with him.
"You can do whatever you want, Maddy," he says with impatience in his voice. "You don't have to look out for me."
I sigh, mad that he's angry with me for no reason and that he's being so stubborn. "That's what family does."
"Family wouldn't keep secrets from each other."
"Well it's not like you told me about Cara, either!" My voice rises and I can hear Tony stirring in the living room. Vic doesn't seem to notice, eyes fixed on me. I can't believe we're arguing over something so insignificant.
"Look, one of the reasons I came here is because I want to try and rekindle whatever piece of a family we still have left. At least I'm trying."
I'm not in the mood for this, especially since I hardly got any sleep last night. My eye catches Tony standing in the front hall between the kitchen and living room, hair messy from just getting up. When Vic doesn't say anything, I slid out from behind the table and walk to Tony. Without another word, I grab his hand and lead him out the door.