Nobody, Not Even the Rain Has Such Small Hands

Maddy's POV
I pack up the money I made today and watch as the kids all migrate to the exists, immediately followed by roadies coming in to take everything down and clean up. I reminisce about what it was like being their age, which was really just a few short years ago. I abandon the booth, taking up the empty boxes and begin heading back to the bus lot. My phone vibrates in my pocket signaling that I've got a call. I'm hoping that it's Tony since this morning he told me about this place not far from the venue that has really good Italian food. He told me that we could go tonight for dinner. I smile at the thought and the excitement I'm filled with for the night ahead. My hands are full, so I can't answer and I continue walking. Seconds after the ringing ends, it starts up again. Meaning it can only be one person.
I put down the armful of empty boxes I'm carrying and take my phone out of my pocket. My assumptions are proven right when the screen tells me it's my mother.
"Hello?"
"Why didn't you answer the first few times I called?"
"I just got off work."
"Oh so you've got a job now?"
"Yeah," I say shortly, not wanting to get into much detail.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't think it was important." The obvious answer is because we don't talk unless she calls me but I hold my tongue.
"Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about your dad."
The breath leaves my lungs and I feel like I need to sit down. My mom's mentioned my dad plenty of times since he's left. I grew up hearing negative things about him while keeping my own heavy secret from her. There's not much I can say about him to her and that scares me almost as much as when she mentions his name.
She doesn't go on, showing me that she's waiting for some sort of response from me. "Okay," I answer, trying not to sound hesitant or bothered.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I say, maybe a little too fast to cover for myself. "Why do you want to talk about him?"
"He called here this morning looking for you."
I sit down on top of the empty boxes, careful not to crush them beneath my weight. "He was looking for me?" I say to more myself than to her. "What do you mean he was looking for me?"
"I don't know, that's why I'm calling you. I want to know why you kept contact with him while your sister was here hurt about what he did to her, leaving like he did. That was selfish of you not to say anything. You've always been so fucking selfish."
My trip over my words and I begin shaking. I can remember his face in my mind, smiling down at me. "I don't have a way to contact him." I don't bother telling her that I don't want to contact him either. "I don't know why he called you looking for me. I don't even know how he has your number."
"Hmm," is all she says but it's enough to tell me that she doesn't believe me. "I told him that you moved out to San Diego with Mike and Vic."
I want to slap her I'm so angry. Thank God I'm on this tour or I wouldn't know what to do.
"I also told him that you guys were going on tour."
As if I couldn't put the pieces together myself, it all comes together like that puzzle you've finally finished that's missing one single piece. If he knows I'm living with Mike and Vic, all he has to do is track them down and it won't be hard to do. With a little research he'd find that the band is headlining Warped all summer. Now, thanks to my mom, he knows that I'm with them. All he has to do is hit a button and he'll know where I'll be and when, exactly. I feel trapped, the kind of trapped that would lead to me sneaking out my window or the in between the wall and my angry, violent mom kind of trapped. Suddenly I can't breath and my mind becomes a mess of thoughts I can't control. Before I start hyperventilating, I hang up on my mom and put my phone back into place with a shaky hand.
"Maddy?"
I can't place whose voice it is but I jump up from the boxes because I'm unable to sit still. I begin pacing, not caring who it was that called my name just seconds ago.
Alex reaches me and places his hands on either of my arms. "What's wrong?"
I can barely form the words because my mind is so jumbled. I want him to get his hands off of me, so I push him away. He looks taken back but I don't care. I continue pacing and he continues asking me what's wrong.
I break down and sit on the pavement. I want Tony and I want to tell him what just happened, but I can't picture dragging him into this mess after all that I've already spilled to him. No one wants a train wreck girlfriend, and suddenly it makes sense as to why he's never really made me his. I don't want him to worry or be stressed out because of me. He's got enough to worry about with signings and set times and schedules that change every single day.
I can't tell him. At least, not everything.
Alex comes over and kneels in front of me. "Maddy," he says, doing his best to look me in the eyes. "I was walking back to the bus and I saw you out here. What's going on?"
I look up from my knees and explain as best as I can to him because I'm too far in now to get out of this with some simple excuse for my actions. I talk until my voice stops shaking and I can form complete words steadily without stuttering. He sits quietly and listens the whole time, his jawline hard as I force myself to tell him the harder parts and details I'd honestly rather not mention.
"Do you want to come back to the bus and we can talk some more?"
Obviously he's not going to leave me out here in the middle of the lot by myself while I'm in tears and after all I just told him. I'm not sure if he's asking because of this or because he'd generally like for me to go back with him so we can talk some more. Typically, I'd head straight back to my own bus after work and I'm sure the guys would start getting curious if I just didn't show up. I can't call and tell Tony I want to go back to Alex's bus with him without explaining everything that's happened, and I can't lie to any of them after how good they've been to me - even Vic, if it were him I was to call, which would just be strange. Besides, I remind myself, Tony wants to go out tonight. I'm going to do everything I can so I don't disappoint him.
"I'm just going to head back," I tell Alex as I stand up and begin to brush the gravel and dirt off of my pants. "Thanks for the offer."
He smiles and says, "don't mention it. I'm glad I caught you. I actually wanted to apologize for the first night we met. You know, at the party and everything? I had a lot to drink and I'm not usually like that."
I retrieve my boxes from where they sit in a blurry mess. I blink to help try and clear my vision and take them back up into my arms.
"It's no problem. I had been drinking too."
We walk in the direction of the buses in silence, which is nice because I'm not in the mood for conversation. Alex gives me a hug when he's reached his bus and tells me that I can go and hang out there when ever I feel like it. I thank him and keep walking, reaching our own bus soon after and dumping the boxes by the back for someone else to take care of.
I don't know what I'm going to tell them so I hope no one asks me what's wrong or why it took me so long to get back tonight. I really don't want to lie to them or have to make up some story on the spot about how I got held up by a fan who wanted her money back or something. I step onto the bus, blinking rapidly to try and remove any traces of leftover tears. I kick my shoes off in the front lounge and head towards the back where I can hear everyone talking. Just the sound of their voices has a calming effect on me and I feel safer now that I'm inside the bus.
"Hey!" Tony's the first to notice that I've arrived and he comes over to hug me almost as soon as I enter. Everyone else - Jaime and Mike - turn to say hi. "What took you so long?" Tony asks, still encompassed in my arms, talking so only I can hear him. It feels so good to hug him after feeling like my heart was going to fall out of my chest.
"I ran into Alex Gaskarth actually," I whisper back, which is technically the truth. Maybe I'd launch into the complete explanation if it weren't for everyone else in the room. He and I will have time to talk tonight, anyway.
He's quiet for a few seconds before he lets me go. "Oh," is all he says. He faces back towards the others. "So are you guys coming to dinner tonight?"
Confused, I reach down to take up his hand and attempt to remind him that it's supposed to be just him and I tonight. He doesn't seem to notice, or maybe he's ignoring me, and continues telling the guys about how he was planning on going for Italian food.
"I had dinner at catering," Jaime says. "I'm honestly not hungry."
Mike's looking at me like he knows something's up. I'm thankful and nod, trying to communicate with him that I really just need to talk to Tony. He seems to pick up on it somehow.
"I think you and Maddy should go together."
Tony nods and lets go of my hand. "Alright, I'll go shower I guess," he says before leaving.
"Is he mad at me?" I ask once Tony's out of earshot. This is the last thing I need.
Mike shrugs. "I don't know. Tone can be hard to read sometimes." He pauses, giving me another once over. "You look like you could use a blunt."
I laugh a little and nod, to Jaime's surprise. "Yeah, I guess I could."
I can hear the shower start up just down the short hallway and watch as Mike begins to roll weed into his paper. I'm sure he's just acting this way because he had a hard day or something.
I didn't think Mike was serious about the weed at first, but one hit after he's lit it up is hard to resist. Jaime leaves the room shortly after Mike's got it rolled and closes the lounge doors behind him. Mike place it to his lips and take in a deep inhale, closing his eyes and leaning back against the black wrap-around couch. I take one single puff when he passes it to me, but the feeling isn't enough to take the edge off just yet. I take a couple more until Tony's out of the shower and then head in to clean up myself.
"Weed?" he asks when I enter the bathroom. He's just finished drying off and is in the process of placing his white towel around his lower half. His dark brown hair looks black from the water. I reach up to catch a droplet as it rolls down his shoulder.
"Mike's in the back," is all I say.
Tony's about to leave, still acting weird, so I reach out and catch his arm. When he turns back around his face is nearly expressionless. "I really need to talk to you. It's kind of important.... Are you mad at me?"
He looks at me for a moment like he's just as in the dark as I am. He shakes his head and then exists the bathroom.

Vic's POV
I take another sip of my whiskey and lock eyes with this girl standing just a couple feet away. Her hazel eyes glisten and I gesture for her to come over. Jaime's been keeping an eye on me lately despite his efforts to remain inconspicuous, so I've got to get her where Jaime won't be watching us like I'm any of his responsibility. I loose myself in the crowd of people smelling of alcohol and sweat and hold the small blonde girl against me just as she takes control and begins grinding herself against me.
Looking around, I realize that I'm surrounded by a lot of people I know. Guys from bands I've either toured with or that I have mutual friends with, roadies that look familiar but remain name-less. There are just as many nameless people here as there are friends. Everyone's too focused on their own partners to notice the way this girl reaches back and locks her fingers in my empty belt loops. Maybe I've become a part of this night life so much that I didn't even notice myself slipping into it, but now no one questions my motives. I feel like the center of attention in a room full of busy people.
At least this girl kind of looks like Cara. The blonde hair, petite figure, around the same height. It's the little things that keeps my pretending in check, like how her hair smells just kind of scentless instead of like coconut shampoo and matching conditioner. I suspect she's about in her mid to late twenties and has probably spent the last few years feeling her way into tour buses. She seems to know what she's doing.
A few feet away I catch Tony and Maddy whispering to each other. I'm surprised he's out here since he's never liked dancing. Either never liked it or was too embarrassed, either or. They laugh and then begin moving their intertwined hands backwards and forwards together, looking innocent surrounded by people seducing each other.
The girl moans, bringing my attention back to her, and I know she's getting really into this. She turns around and latches her arms around my neck, bringing one hand down to the crotch of my pants. She squeezes her hand and then loosens up again, repeating this and adding her own twists until it turns me on enough that my attention is fully brought back to the way she's eye fucking me.
"Do you want to go somewhere else?" I ask, leaning in closer so she can hear me.
She moves her plump lips up from my neck, sending a shiver down my spin, to my ear. "Yeah. Where?"
I take her small hand, which is kind of hard to do with all the rings she's got on, and lead her away from all the people. I'm going to get to forget about Cara, Tony and Maddy's perfect relationship, how Jaime's sick and tired of my shit and how I've got no one left. When we find our way to the bus, I'm surprised with the initiative she takes to push me up against it and how she flicks her tongue against my bottom lip. The kiss intensifies and we thump against the bus as our hips rhythmically brush.
Before opening the door and letting the both of us inside, I run through my mind to make sure there isn't going to be anyone inside. Jaime, Tony and Maddy are at the party. That leaves just Mike left, but I saw him talking to some girl earlier tonight so he shouldn't be a problem. I break the kiss and we head in, going immediately to my messy bunk.
"Sorry about that," I say as I take my suitcase off of the blankets and slid in.
Without a word she comes in and I pull her down on top of me, our mouths reconnecting as if there never had been a pause. Her hips roll over mine and I run my tongue over her sweet tasting lip. My hips begin to buck against her and she kisses me more aggressively as if that had been what she was asking for.
We undress each other quickly and without saying anything. It reminds me of Cara and how we always took our time. We lazily loved each other and did it much more intimately than a casual tour lay. She'd always give me this look and a small, loving smile just as she dropped her pants to the floor with mine. She'd tell me she loved me as our bare skin finally pressed against each other as if that's how it was always supposed to be.
This girl undressed herself like she couldn't be bothered with the time it took. In between articles of clothing, she'd rub a hand across my crotch or move my hands over her chest and in between her thighs. She stops when she gets to her bra and underwear and kisses me again, working on the buttons on my light blue shirt. I slid off my shorts as she does so, finishing at just about the same time. She works the shirt down my arms and I focus on keeping her occupied for my own sanity and because I'm growing harder and harder as I continue rubbing my hand between her warm thighs. When she climbs on top of me, I lay back and unclip her bra. She moves her arms so it slides off and lands on the floor in a jumbled mess. There's nothing left between her and me except for my boxers.
She takes advantage of this, grinding her bare self against me.
"You're so bad, Vic," she purrs as she leans down and rests down forearms and hands on my bare chest. "Taking me back here."
I kiss her again because I don't want to have to entertain her with dirty words. She begins moving herself against me, making me so uncomfortably hard that I roll us over so I'm over her. She moves her arms over head, making her chest more pronounced and visible even in the poor lighting. I kiss the spot beneath her collar bone and make my way down, moving my fingers over the tender skin of the top crevice of her inner thigh. She moans again and struggles to remove my boxers before wrapping both of her legs over my waist, locking her ankles. I move over her to position myself and lock our lips again, causing my bare chest to touch hers.
I think of Cara even though I try to push her out of my mind. Keeping my eyes closed the entire time, just for my own selfish purposes, I keep my head bowed near her shoulder in hopes that she won't notice how I can't look at her.
I slam in and out of her for a while, and eventually it works just like I thought it would. My mind clears and I focus on how good this is making me feel. When she starts making quite a bit of noise, I tell her I'm about to finish and she says my name.
"Look at me."
When I don't, she repeats herself followed by a lot of cussing. "Fuck Vic, look at me right now!"
She runs her nails down my back and I push deep inside her. Arching her back, she straightens and places her hand on my damp cheek, turning my head to meet her eyes.
"I'm goin-"
I come and the last thing I see before the white waves carry me out are her hazel eyes staring into mine.