Status: Incomplete

You Drive Me Crazy

But I still hope you'll change your mind...

"You drove me crazy the way you kept changing your mind about me, but I still hope you’ll change your mind one more time."

I sat in my room, listening to whatever song was playing from my iPod as it charged on my dock. In front of me, sprawled out on the bed were the numerous scrapbooks, letters, photos, and little mementos such as movie tickets, to remind me of the reason I am where I am today. Tears slowly fell down my face as I looked through the scrapbooks, mementos, letters he had written to me, and the photos that I had yet to put into the scrapbooks. All were the faint reminders of the love that I wish I could hold onto forever. But that wouldn’t be possible, and I wish I could say that the reason it was this way would be because it was my fault. I don’t want to blame him, but I have to because he just couldn’t make up his mind.

Eight months ago, I never would’ve imagined that I, Meghan Elizabeth Gallagher, would’ve been where I am today. Just eight months ago, I was getting ready to go on tour with my five best friends in the United States, the place where I was born and hadn’t been to since my parents moved us to Mullingar, Ireland when I was six years old; being friends with an internationally known group of teenage boys has its perks. However, at the same time there were plenty of downsides to being best friends with the world’s most popular group at the moment, especially when you’re in love with one of them but he can’t seem to make up his mind about you.

I met Niall on my first day of school, when my parents and I had first moved to Ireland. Back then, he still had brown hair and his brogue was so cute. He protected me from two bullies picking on me for my American accent. Since that day, he was my best friend. He was there for me through everything, and I was there for him. Once we hit our teenage years however, things began to slowly change. High school came and we were still best friends, and of course came the speculation from those around us that we were a couple. For the most part, I denied the claims but deep inside I had wished they were true. Niall just seemed to ignore it. On my fifteenth birthday though, he proved me wrong like he did with most things. It was on my fifteenth birthday that I received my first kiss. It was on my fifteenth birthday that I realized I was in love with Niall James Horan and always had been.

After he kissed me, things didn’t get awkward. No, they just went back to normal as if it never happened at all. This confused me and when I confronted him about it, Niall simply said it was just a gesture of friendship. That was the first time he broke my heart. A few weeks later, once I had gotten over the initial blow that he was only going to be my best friend, he came to me and told me he had liked me all this time. My heart raced and I felt like I had just won the lottery. However, the joy was short-lived when he didn’t act on his words and soon enough had broken my heart again by telling me that what he felt for me was just something he confused with friendship.

I sighed as I remembered the hundreds of times over the past few years that Niall had broken my heart as I looked at pictures of us from the tour earlier this year. When Niall became part of One Direction, he immediately introduced me to the rest of the boys and soon I had gained four guy friends, plus a few girl friends. I was especially close with Zayn’s girlfriend, Claire and I still am. She’s the only one who knows why I left in the middle of the tour, four short months ago to come back to my tiny flat in London that wasn’t far from where the rest of my friends were. Why did I leave? Because for probably the millionth time, Niall made a confession of his feelings only to take them back once again. But this time, instead of getting over it like I usually did, I had had enough. I remember the day like it was yesterday…

Four Months Ago
“Claire, he actually came up to me and told me he wanted to be with me, that he has feelings for me. I kid you not!” I said to my friend, who would be joining the tour in just a week. She sighed, knowing that Niall was a repeat offender of changing his mind when it came to his feelings for me. “I know love, just be careful okay? I don’t want you to get hurt again if he changes his mind. As much as I love Niall, he cannot keep doing this to you and you can’t let him get away with it again.” She replied softly. I knew she was right. The fact that he kept changing his mind about me was driving me crazy; HE was driving me crazy. But I didn’t care because I loved him. “I know, and I promise I won’t let him get away with it again. But Claire, I think this time he might just be serious!” I replied just as someone knocked on the door of the hotel room. We staying overnight in Dallas and got to stay in a hotel instead of the tour bus, thank god.

While still on the phone with Claire, I walk over to open the door seeing Niall on the other side. I smiled and stepped aside to allow him into the room. “Claire, I’ll call you later. Niall’s here. Yeah yeah, love you too.” I said before hanging up the phone and walking to the couch in the room where Niall sat while he waited for me. “Hey.” I said as I sat beside him. He looked up at me and he didn’t look all too excited. “Is everything alright?” I asked him softly, placing my hand on his knee. He shrugged me off and stood up. “Niall what’s going on?” I asked, standing up as turned his back to me. “I lied.” He said in a voice barely above a whisper. My heart shattered. I knew what was coming. “You lied.” I said, nodding my head as the tears brimmed my eyes.

He turned to face me and I lost it. “You know what Niall? I am so sick of you constantly playing with my heart as though it’s your own personal toy. I am a human being with feelings, not a robot. You drive me insane and I let you toy with my emotions constantly. But that ends here Niall because as much as I love you, with all my heart, I cannot stand here and let you do this to me anymore.” I shout as the tears stream down my face. He stays silent and stony faced, his crystal blue eyes watching me carefully. When he doesn’t say anything to defend himself or to apologize, I just give up. With my heart breaking with every passing second I lift my arm, pointing to the door. “You know what Niall, just go.” I said, my voice cracking with each word. And without a word, he left the room. He didn’t even try to apologize. “And to think that I still love you.” I murmur softly, slamming the door behind him before running to my bed, collapsing onto it as I sobbed into the pillows…

Present
Needless to say, after crying my eyes out for a good two hours I packed my bags and left. I haven’t seen the boys since. I’ve spoken to the other boys a few times because I was a friend to all of their girlfriends. However, I haven’t spoken to Niall; nor has he tried to contact me. As I gaze at the pictures of us in my hands, I think back to that night that he once again changed his mind. Looking back on it now, as much as he drove me crazy, I am still hopeless in love with that boy from Mullingar who saved me from the bullies. As much as I hate his indecisive mind, I still hope that he’d change his mind one more time and that he would come waltzing through my door any minute and tell me that he loves me. But I know better than that. Niall would never do that. Besides, they weren’t even home from their tour yet. They get back tomorrow night.

Just as I was about to burst into another fit of tears brought on by this entire situation with Niall, as I had done tons of time since I left the tour four months ago, I was interrupted by loud banging on my front door. “What the hell….” I said to myself as I walked towards my front door. The banging continued as I cautiously made my way to open the door. “What the bloody hell is your-“ I started to say as I opened the door, only for my jaw to drop. Standing in front of me was the bleached-blonde blue-eyed Irishman that I had fallen in love with at some point over the past thirteen years. “Niall what are you-“ I am cut off by a pair of soft lips against my own. I felt like I was floating on a cloud, wrapping my arms around his neck as his went around my waist, pulling my body into his. The amount of emotion felt in the kiss, made my heart race.

When we finally pulled away, both panting from the breathless kiss, we just stared at each other. I was at a loss for words. What was he doing here? He and the boys weren’t due back until tomorrow. Once I had caught my breath, I pulled my arms away from his neck and stepped back out of his arms. It broke my heart to do that, but what right did he have to come here to my flat and kiss me after what he’s done. Sure, I had been hoping he’d change his mind about me one more time but I never thought it would happen or I wasn’t prepared for it to happen so soon. “Niall, what are you doing here?” I asked softly. He looked down at his feet. “Can I come in?” he asked softly, his voice cracking somewhat. I stood aside and let him walk inside. Talk about déjà vu. He walked into my living room as I shut the front door and followed him to the couch. He sat and put his head in his hands.

“Niall, what are you doing here? You aren’t due back in London until tomorrow.” I asked again as I sat beside him on the far end of the couch. He sighed. “I left early. I couldn’t take it anymore. I made a huge mistake and went through the past four months acting like I didn’t let the most important thing in my life slip away.” He said, talking a little too fast. “Niall, I don’t understand.” I said softly. He turned to me and his blue eyes were red with tears that were streaming down his face. “Meghan, I made a mistake four months ago. I told you I lied? Well I did lie. I lied to you about lying about how I felt for you. I guess I was just scared. You’re my best friend. I didn’t want to fall in love with you and ruin everything we have in our friendship. But I realize now that by lying to you about my feelings, I ended up ruining our relationship anyway.” He said softly, staring at his hands. My heart raced. Was he saying what I think he was saying…

“Niall…” I started to say as I moved towards him. “Meghan, I love you. I’m in love with you. And, I am so terribly sorry for ever making you feel that I ever felt otherwise. It’s always been you. You’re my princess.” He whispered softly. Before I could say anything else, his lips crashed against mine once more. I guess it’s safe to say, he’s changed his mind one last time.

Seven Years Later
“Oh she’s got your eyes, princess.” My twenty-six year old husband of one year said as we looked down at the tiny figure in my arms. I looked up at him and smiled. “She’s got her father’s hair though.” I replied. “My two princesses.” He whispered, kissing the side of my head before leaning down to kiss the little pink baby on her forehead. “Little Siobhan Maeve.” He whispered. I looked from the little girl in my arms to my husband and smiled. “I love you Niall.” I whispered. He looked up, his eyes meeting mine and smiled wide. “And I love you, my beautiful princess.” He whispered back. Seven years ago, I don’t think I ever would’ve imagined being here with Niall and our newborn daughter. But after much deliberation and little doubt and definitely no more mind changing, Niall and I dated for five years before he asked me to marry him. We’ve been married for a year and recently welcomed our little Siobhan Maeve Horan into the world. Since he showed up on my doorstep, he’s never changed his mind about me again, and I would never want to change that. He is the love of my life and will always be the love of my life. No doubt about it.