Paint You Wings

Jasey awoke in the middle of her first night with Alex's limbs tangled in hers. She shivered and tugged helplessly at the blanket Alex had stolen from her at one point in his sleep. Growing frustrated, she simply snuggled closer to him in hopes that she would steal some of his body heat.

She only noticed the slight tremors in her hand when she moved to brush the hair away at her face. Her heart sped at the familiar sensation.

"Alex," she called. Nothing, as always. She swore that buy could sleep through a tornado if he wanted to.

"Alex," she tried again, pushing against him.

"Hmm?" He answered hazily.

"I'm shaking," was all she said. Alex opened his eyes and immediately let them set on Jasey's hands.

"I don't want you to stay with me." She whispered. Alex's eyes widened.

"Why would you say that?" He asked, hurt laced in his tone.

"It's going to get bad, Lex. I don't want you to see me like that." She begged him. She knew everything she was saying was going in one ear and out of the other. She had to try.

"I'm not leaving you. We're leaving it at that." He told her sternly. Jasey nodddd and closed her eyes.

"Does it hurt?" He asked her, pulling her body on top of his and wrapping his arms around her. She laid her head on his chest exactly above where his heart was beating.

"No," she said, "It's just annoying." Alex nodded as Jasey wrapped her hands around his waist. The pressure of his body on her hands somewhat stopped the shaking, finally satisfying her.

"I'm scared," she whispered quietly after a while.

"Me too. We can get through it though. Just remember that." Jasey nodded.

"You're so strong Jasey. We can do this, okay?" Jasey lifted her head to kiss the side of Alex's face in appreciation of his inspiring words. Jasey prayed with all her heart that she really did make it through this. She didn't want to be like the tragedy of Judy Garland, or Marilyn Monroe. She wanted to be a legend.

"Sing to me, it'll help me fall asleep faster."

Alex smiled and ran his hands down her back.

Don't make this easy, I want you to mean it, Jasey.

Jasey grinned at the sound of her name, and it took everything she had not to laugh at the cheesiness of the scene playing out with them as the lead roles.

"Did it have to be that song?"

"Alright, fine." he laughed hoarsely.

"My ship went down in a sea of sound
when I woke up alone I had everything,
A handful of moments I wished I could change
And a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.

Alex's voice faded from Jasey's ears as she was finally lulled to sleep..

_________________________________________________________________

"Do you need any food, water, are you hurting, are you too hot?" Alex questioned hastily for the second day in a row while Jasey clutched the bed sheets in pain. She was currently in the fetal position on her bed, sweat pouring from her face and pain coursing through her body.

"Alex, shut up." she said through gritted teeth.

"Jasey you need to eat,"

"Alex, you need to go away." Jasey cried out as another wave of nausea hit her. Her head was pounding and Alex's voice was louder by decibels.

The true withdraws had started the day before. Jasey awoke in the middle of the night to a simple hand tremoring, but by morning it had progressed to painful spasms all over her body. Alex had been by her side, smothering her with things she needed to do, and questions.

Alex pushed the hair clouding Jasey's face back.

"Alex, please stop. You're making things worse. Just please, don't touch me." He just wouldn't understand. She was in pain, she was hurting. Alex was constantly there shoving questions down her throat. It was too much.

She twisted the bed sheets as hard as she could as the pain in her stomach intensified and her chest began to burn with a yearning for the pills she used to take. She tried her hardest not to picture how much better she would feel if she just took a couple. Just a couple to ease the shaking.

"Jasey-" Alex began, but she was already in the bathroom with the door locked behind her with her head leaning over the toilet. She gagged as vomit rushed it's way up her throat and into the toilet connected to her bedroom. She could hear Alex knocking on the door and calling her name as she retched. When she was done, she couldn't help the sobs that racked through her body. She just wanted to be alone. She curled up in a small ball on the bathroom floor as Alex knocked and knocked.

"Just leave me alone." she begged.