Status: Starts Episode 1 of Season 3
Can't Believe
Three
"Hello, I'm Kurt Hummel, and I'm auditioning for the role of Tony. The male lead."
"That's great Kurt!" Ms. Pillsbury exclaimed in her always happy nature.
"I'll be performing the seminal, and in my case, semi-autobiographical Broadway Classic 'I'm the Greatest Star' from Funny Girl."
"Isn't that a Streisand song?" Beiste asked.
"I know what you're thinking, but I got written permission from the woman herself....Ms. Rachel Berry."
Mia rolled her eyes, groaning. Artie patted her hand on the table. Kurt started bouncing.
"And I'd also like to thank Cassius from my dad's tire shop, for kindly constructing my audition scaffolding."
"When you're ready, Kurt," Artie announced, his fingers lacing subconsciously with Mia's. Neither of them noticed, but both adults did.
Halfway through Kurt's audition, Mia started singing along quietly. The microphone in front of her picked it up, making Kurt grin when he saw it and throw himself into his audition with even more gusto. It also distracted Artie, a little bit.
"You have a beautiful voice." Artie murmured quietly. Mia grinned at him.
"Thank you."
"Just help me get her act together!?" Puck pleaded. "Jen, Please? I need you to help me!"
"Okay, okay. What are friends for, right? Besides, I heard she dragged my sister into the bathroom the other day. Probably trying to steal her lunch money. Convert her to the Skanks."
"Thanks." Puck wrapped an arm around her shoulders and escorted her through the halls. He let her into the bathroom first, then walked in himself. Quinn was doing her makeup.
"Menthol 100's? Really, skank?" He picked up her cigarettes. Quinn rolled her eyes.
"You can't be in here, it's the girls bathroom."
Jenna made her way to the sink next to Quinn's. She ran her hands through her hair.
"He's always in here. The stalls are cleaner."
"Piss of, Rachel-Wannabe!"
"Hey!" Puck grabbed Quinn's arm, albeit gently. "Don't talk to her like that. You need to loose the Skank act and get it together!"
"Everyone needs to leave me alone, because this is who I am."
"You look like a Real Housewife of Reno." Jenna commented, rolling her eyes. "We saw Beth."
"So?" Quinn shrugged. But Jenna could see the flash of jealousy flash over her eyes.
"She looks just like you. Well...The old you." She placed her hands behind her back.
"Yeah, well, that's just too bad. We're not parent material." Quinn shrugged again. Jenna shrugged too.
"Puck is. My God Quinn. The way he was last night, if I were you, I wouldn't want to miss any moment he had with that little girl."
"We're never gonna be together."
"I don't care about you, I care about her." Puck snapped. "I don't want her having questions or being messed up. She needs you in her life. But the way you are now makes me wish it was Jenna instead of you that had my baby."
"Whoa, wait, what?" Jenna went wide eyed.
"Just as the mother figure!" Puck raised his hands in the air. "And my best friend, maybe?" He looked back at Quinn. "Just get your act back together, please." And then he pulled Jenna gently from the bathroom.
"Okay....Marias." Coach Beiste had her feet up on Ms. Pillsbury's desk. "For me, Rachel Berry. She's got the eye of the tiger thing going on, and she's Jewish, which I think helps with the whole Puerto Rican thing."
Mia rolled her eyes.
"We haven't had all the Maria Auditions yet. I withhold my judgement."
"For Tony, Kurt." Ms. Pillsbury put in.
"But Tony'd from the streets. He's supposed to be tough and I don't see that in Kurt." Beiste shook her head.
"Well," Mia leaned against the window, unaware of Kurt skulking in the bushes beneath it. "I know lots of Broadway actors who aren't expected to play certain character, and they get the part and rock it because of the audition. In reality, it has nothing to do with appearance because they're so easy to change. I find it unfair to judge solely on whether or not Kurt looks the part."
"Good point." Artie nodded. "We should wait to see who else comes in. But I'm afraid that, yeah, Kurt's a little delicate for Tony."
Mia didn't know Kurt was listening until he came in with a second audition. He was Romeo, and Rachel was Juliet.
Throughout the audition, everyone except Mia was giggling. And in the end, right before Kurt kissed her, Rachel burst out laughing too. Kurt stormed out. Mia sighed and stood, going off to find him.
"You should have been more serious about this. Because now you've seriously hurt someone." She said as she walked past Rachel.
"I can't do this!" Finn snapped. He had fallen over. Again.
"Yes you can," Mr. Schue bent over to talk to him.
"No, I can't!"
"Hey!" Jenna skipped over. "Yeah you can. Come on, do it with me!" She used both hands to pull him up. "You try it one more time with me, and you can just stop. Brad, Once more, if you will?"
The usually grumpy, blonde pianist nodded at Jenna. Mike and Mr. Schue cleared the floor for Finn and Jenna. The notes on the piano seemed easy for Jenna to follow, Finn noticed. He followed her quick steps without a second thought, and before he even knew it, he'd nailed the moves.
"Good, Finn!" Mr. Schue encouraged. And to Finn's amazement, everyone was cheering for him. But it died down quickly, revealing Quinn standing next to the piano. And she was blonde again. The first step to being herself. Hopefully.
"Can I help you, Quinn?"
"I heard this is for people who want help with their dance moves, and want to win Nationals."
"That's right."
"So I'm a little rusty, and, uh...Would it be cool if I joined in?"
"Absolutely."
To Quinn's surprise, Jenna was the first person to greet her, wrapping her arms around her in a big hug.
"Welcome back, Quinn."
Puck came to Jenna after practice. He was her ride home after school each day, Mia choosing to always walk, plus, she was staying a lot later today to help Artie with the musical.
"Jen, she wants Beth." He looked a little worried. "She said if dying her hair blonde and acting like she's special would get her back then that's what she would do. She wants custody."
"I've realized this." Jenna pulled her long dark brown hair into a ponytail. She didn't say anything else until she was about to get out of Puck's truck. "Look, Noah....You can't let her take custody of Beth. Quinn's seriously messed up. Shelby's not. You need to make sure Beth stays with her. I may think you're ready for this, but Quinn isn't."
And with that, she got up and out of the truck.
"Blaine?" Mia spoke into the microphone. Blaine timidly walked to center stage. He nodded.
"Hi, Guys."
"Greetings!" Artie nodded back. "What song will you be singing today?"
"Something's coming." Blaine responded. He turned around and his music started instantly. Mia tuned out, she wasn't going to be biased. When it was over, the Beiste was crying, and Artie was clapping hard.
"Wait! It says here you only want to try out for the role of Bernardo?" Is when Mia tuned back in.
"Right! Or Officer Krupke, I'm not picky."
"Would you mind reading for Tony?" Artie asked. Blaine looked like he almost wanted to say no. Mia's phone vibrated, alerting her to a text. It was from Kurt.
'Make him do it.'
"Blaine?"
He looked up at her, wide eyed.
"Do it. I'm positive Kurt will be happy for you, Not upset. And if he was upset it wouldn't be a great amount. Do it. Please?"
"Okay."
Artie smiled at Mia, and took her hand in his.
"That's great Kurt!" Ms. Pillsbury exclaimed in her always happy nature.
"I'll be performing the seminal, and in my case, semi-autobiographical Broadway Classic 'I'm the Greatest Star' from Funny Girl."
"Isn't that a Streisand song?" Beiste asked.
"I know what you're thinking, but I got written permission from the woman herself....Ms. Rachel Berry."
Mia rolled her eyes, groaning. Artie patted her hand on the table. Kurt started bouncing.
"And I'd also like to thank Cassius from my dad's tire shop, for kindly constructing my audition scaffolding."
"When you're ready, Kurt," Artie announced, his fingers lacing subconsciously with Mia's. Neither of them noticed, but both adults did.
Halfway through Kurt's audition, Mia started singing along quietly. The microphone in front of her picked it up, making Kurt grin when he saw it and throw himself into his audition with even more gusto. It also distracted Artie, a little bit.
"You have a beautiful voice." Artie murmured quietly. Mia grinned at him.
"Thank you."
"Just help me get her act together!?" Puck pleaded. "Jen, Please? I need you to help me!"
"Okay, okay. What are friends for, right? Besides, I heard she dragged my sister into the bathroom the other day. Probably trying to steal her lunch money. Convert her to the Skanks."
"Thanks." Puck wrapped an arm around her shoulders and escorted her through the halls. He let her into the bathroom first, then walked in himself. Quinn was doing her makeup.
"Menthol 100's? Really, skank?" He picked up her cigarettes. Quinn rolled her eyes.
"You can't be in here, it's the girls bathroom."
Jenna made her way to the sink next to Quinn's. She ran her hands through her hair.
"He's always in here. The stalls are cleaner."
"Piss of, Rachel-Wannabe!"
"Hey!" Puck grabbed Quinn's arm, albeit gently. "Don't talk to her like that. You need to loose the Skank act and get it together!"
"Everyone needs to leave me alone, because this is who I am."
"You look like a Real Housewife of Reno." Jenna commented, rolling her eyes. "We saw Beth."
"So?" Quinn shrugged. But Jenna could see the flash of jealousy flash over her eyes.
"She looks just like you. Well...The old you." She placed her hands behind her back.
"Yeah, well, that's just too bad. We're not parent material." Quinn shrugged again. Jenna shrugged too.
"Puck is. My God Quinn. The way he was last night, if I were you, I wouldn't want to miss any moment he had with that little girl."
"We're never gonna be together."
"I don't care about you, I care about her." Puck snapped. "I don't want her having questions or being messed up. She needs you in her life. But the way you are now makes me wish it was Jenna instead of you that had my baby."
"Whoa, wait, what?" Jenna went wide eyed.
"Just as the mother figure!" Puck raised his hands in the air. "And my best friend, maybe?" He looked back at Quinn. "Just get your act back together, please." And then he pulled Jenna gently from the bathroom.
"Okay....Marias." Coach Beiste had her feet up on Ms. Pillsbury's desk. "For me, Rachel Berry. She's got the eye of the tiger thing going on, and she's Jewish, which I think helps with the whole Puerto Rican thing."
Mia rolled her eyes.
"We haven't had all the Maria Auditions yet. I withhold my judgement."
"For Tony, Kurt." Ms. Pillsbury put in.
"But Tony'd from the streets. He's supposed to be tough and I don't see that in Kurt." Beiste shook her head.
"Well," Mia leaned against the window, unaware of Kurt skulking in the bushes beneath it. "I know lots of Broadway actors who aren't expected to play certain character, and they get the part and rock it because of the audition. In reality, it has nothing to do with appearance because they're so easy to change. I find it unfair to judge solely on whether or not Kurt looks the part."
"Good point." Artie nodded. "We should wait to see who else comes in. But I'm afraid that, yeah, Kurt's a little delicate for Tony."
Mia didn't know Kurt was listening until he came in with a second audition. He was Romeo, and Rachel was Juliet.
Throughout the audition, everyone except Mia was giggling. And in the end, right before Kurt kissed her, Rachel burst out laughing too. Kurt stormed out. Mia sighed and stood, going off to find him.
"You should have been more serious about this. Because now you've seriously hurt someone." She said as she walked past Rachel.
"I can't do this!" Finn snapped. He had fallen over. Again.
"Yes you can," Mr. Schue bent over to talk to him.
"No, I can't!"
"Hey!" Jenna skipped over. "Yeah you can. Come on, do it with me!" She used both hands to pull him up. "You try it one more time with me, and you can just stop. Brad, Once more, if you will?"
The usually grumpy, blonde pianist nodded at Jenna. Mike and Mr. Schue cleared the floor for Finn and Jenna. The notes on the piano seemed easy for Jenna to follow, Finn noticed. He followed her quick steps without a second thought, and before he even knew it, he'd nailed the moves.
"Good, Finn!" Mr. Schue encouraged. And to Finn's amazement, everyone was cheering for him. But it died down quickly, revealing Quinn standing next to the piano. And she was blonde again. The first step to being herself. Hopefully.
"Can I help you, Quinn?"
"I heard this is for people who want help with their dance moves, and want to win Nationals."
"That's right."
"So I'm a little rusty, and, uh...Would it be cool if I joined in?"
"Absolutely."
To Quinn's surprise, Jenna was the first person to greet her, wrapping her arms around her in a big hug.
"Welcome back, Quinn."
Puck came to Jenna after practice. He was her ride home after school each day, Mia choosing to always walk, plus, she was staying a lot later today to help Artie with the musical.
"Jen, she wants Beth." He looked a little worried. "She said if dying her hair blonde and acting like she's special would get her back then that's what she would do. She wants custody."
"I've realized this." Jenna pulled her long dark brown hair into a ponytail. She didn't say anything else until she was about to get out of Puck's truck. "Look, Noah....You can't let her take custody of Beth. Quinn's seriously messed up. Shelby's not. You need to make sure Beth stays with her. I may think you're ready for this, but Quinn isn't."
And with that, she got up and out of the truck.
"Blaine?" Mia spoke into the microphone. Blaine timidly walked to center stage. He nodded.
"Hi, Guys."
"Greetings!" Artie nodded back. "What song will you be singing today?"
"Something's coming." Blaine responded. He turned around and his music started instantly. Mia tuned out, she wasn't going to be biased. When it was over, the Beiste was crying, and Artie was clapping hard.
"Wait! It says here you only want to try out for the role of Bernardo?" Is when Mia tuned back in.
"Right! Or Officer Krupke, I'm not picky."
"Would you mind reading for Tony?" Artie asked. Blaine looked like he almost wanted to say no. Mia's phone vibrated, alerting her to a text. It was from Kurt.
'Make him do it.'
"Blaine?"
He looked up at her, wide eyed.
"Do it. I'm positive Kurt will be happy for you, Not upset. And if he was upset it wouldn't be a great amount. Do it. Please?"
"Okay."
Artie smiled at Mia, and took her hand in his.
♠ ♠ ♠
This Chapter's performanceshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agjU576UFWg- I'm the Greatest Star, Kurt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr9CSp3bohU - Something's coming, Blaine