Silent Nights

As soon as the bandage is tied off Sara pushes herself to her feet and walks out, leaving her bag and everything she’d taken out of it. She says something to Anna and Drew. I can’t hear the words, but I have a pretty good idea of what she said. The look on her face toward the end pretty much confirmed what we were all thinking: the girl has the infection. There’s a brief, murmured conversation in the other room, and then I hear footsteps trailing down the hall and down the stairs.

The little girl shifts in my lap, bringing my focus back to her. She tilts her head back against my shoulder, squinting up at me with big blue eyes. I force a smile and realize I’m still holding her wrist. As soon as I let go, she hugs her arms to her stomach and drops her chin to her chest, letting her tangled blond hair fall over her face. I lift one hand to her forehead and brush the soft hair behind her ear.

She hasn’t been by herself long, I realize. Her hair- though tangled- smells faintly of strawberries. It’s probably only been a day or two since it was last washed. I wonder what happened to whoever was taking care of her. I bring my hand back up to her forehead, watching for her reaction. When she doesn’t flinch away, I run my fingers through her hair, carefully brushing through the snarls with my fingers. Despite a few snags, she nestles against me with a sigh.

I run my hand from her head to her back, absentmindedly working out the knots in her hair while wondering what we’re going to do now. Once someone’s been infected, it’s just a matter of time. I look at the girl’s face, so calm and peaceful as she dozes off in my lap, and try not imagine the monster she’ll become. This shouldn’t have happened to her. Someone should have been watching her, keeping her safe. She’s just a little kid.

There’s a light knock at the door, and the girl flinches, suddenly alert. Anna steps partway into the room, one hand leaning on the doorframe. Her eyes sweep over the room and land on the girl’s shoulder. The girl follows Anna’s gaze and jerks her left hand up to cover her right shoulder. I catch her grubby hand before she can touch the clean bandages. She looks up at me and I can see the tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

“How about we clean you up a bit, and then we can get you some dinner?” I say quietly, trying to head off the tears. The girl looks up at me for a moment longer before nodding. I smile and give her hand a little squeeze. I can’t undo what’s happened, but at least we can make her comfortable. “Maybe we can find you some clean clothes to change into, huh?” The little girl nods sleepily and I look up at Anna.

“Yeah,” she rasps. She swallows and shakes her head slightly. “Yeah,” she repeats, “I’ll go find something else for you to wear.” She smiles briefly, trying for reassuring but it looks more like a grimace. Luckily the girl is still looking at me. With a small nod Anna turns to leave. While Anna digs through our bags to find something that’ll fit such a small kid, the girl watches the doorway, keeping a tight hold on my hand.