Attention's Like a Fire
In the Arms of Sleep
I heard a loud beeping, and groggily reached over to turn off my alarm clock.
After thoroughly smashing the snooze button, the sounds didn’t stop. I noticed that the sound was muffled, and realized it was actually my phone beeping.
Quickly, I patted myself down and found the phone in my left pocket. Flipping it open, I read New Message flashing on the tiny screen and quickly read it.
Mikes, it’s Frank
I need you more then ever
I’m cold
Nothing against Alicia
I need you.
My heart leapt into my throat.
Frank…needs me?
I stopped myself before jumping to conclusions, and fantasizing about Frank actually liking me and us having a relationship.
No…he mentioned Alicia…that means he still thinks we’re together.
I frowned, but re-read the text again. If he was cold, obviously he wasn’t in the tour bus, so I quickly decided to run out and find him.
It was pelting rain down so hard it stung. I couldn’t see a thing, but I couldn’t go back without finding Frank first.
Stumbling down around the venue which we were going to play at tomorrow, I wiped my glasses to clear away that rain dotting them. Straight away, I saw a huddled form near bushes growing by the stage.
Rushing over, I saw it was indeed Frank, and I yelled so that he could hear me from the loud rain splashing down and the spontaneous thunder claps.
“Frank!”
The world flashed and I rushed over when I saw him jump up. He was shivering cold, and I ushered him to the stage, where there was a cover to prevent any expensive equipment from getting ruined if weather like this happened.
Soaking wet, I regretted not getting an umbrella along with the jackets I had brought. I was still thankful for the warmth they supplied, and quickly covered Frank in the extra jacket.
“What the hell are you doing out here, Frank?”
He looked up, and my heart broke.
His face was wet, and not from the rain. It was obvious they were tear-stains and his eyes were glassy. His cheeks were flushed and eyes were red.
“He’s with Ray,” he whispered.
I looked down, knowing that he was crying because of my brother.
“I-I know…”
He squeezed his hand, “Damn it. Fuck. Shit. I hate him. I hate Ray. Why the hell did he have to take him away from me?! I wanted him first! He could never love Gerard the way I do!”
I looked on in shock, but then my eyes softened.
“Ray didn’t do this on purpose. They love each other. They didn’t say ‘Hey, let’s fuck around with Frank’s feelings and say we love each other!’ Hell, they probably don’t even know you take him seriously. I mean…life’s a bitch.”
Smiling softly, Frank added, “And so am I.”
I pulled him into a hug, “No…you’re just upset.”
Frank angrily wiped his face, “No, I really am! How could I say that about Ray? He’s a fucking great guy! He…he deserves Gerard. I don’t deserve anyone. I guess that’s why I don’t have anybody. Gee and Ray have each other, Bob has his girlfriend and you…well, you have Alicia.”
I accidentally gripped Frank’s arms tightly.
“Ouch! Damn, Mikey…”
I flushed, “Sorry! But, um…Frank. You really need to know that Alicia isn’t my girlfriend. She’s really just my friend…”
Frank smiled slightly, “Yeah…I was sort of coming to that conclusion. You didn’t seem too excited, and you weren’t really close to her. At least, not as much as someone in a relationship would be.”
“Um…it’s sort of cold, would you…do you want to get some blankets or something? I mean, if you don’t want to go inside…”
Frank gripped my shirt and shook his head, “N-No…I really can’t handle being alone right now, okay? I…I just need this. Right now, I need you, Mikey. I need someone to hold me and tell me it’s alright.”
“And that you’re not an asshole for being angry. And that he’s missing out because you’re a fucking great guy.”
Frank’s cheeks reddened even more, and he pressed his head to my chest.
“But he has Ray. That’s the only one he wants, so he’s not missing out. He deserves the best, and for him, the best is Ray,” Frank mumbled.
I looked down, and saw that the pattering of the rain was lulling him to sleep. His lashes were fluttering, his cheeks were flushed and his mouth was slightly parted.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down and not kiss the one person I really love, who happened to be sitting in my lap right now, clinging to me.
“Mikey…?” he whispered.
“Yeah?”
“Why do you put up with all my shit?”
My heart thudded loudly, and my ears started to ring. I could feel him breathing against my chest, his warmth contrasting the sodden cold.
“Because…”
“Hmm?” he said sleepily, and I knew that what I was going to say was going to be forgotten in the arms of sleep, which were slowly wrapping around Frank.
“Because you are the best for me.”
Blushing, I leaned down as Frank’s eyes closed and he drifted off. Breathing softly, I looked down on his face to see if he was asleep.
I quickly kissed his forehead and managed to murmur out, “It’s because I love you, dummy.”
And the rain had slowed to a patter, which lulled me to sleep too.
After thoroughly smashing the snooze button, the sounds didn’t stop. I noticed that the sound was muffled, and realized it was actually my phone beeping.
Quickly, I patted myself down and found the phone in my left pocket. Flipping it open, I read New Message flashing on the tiny screen and quickly read it.
Mikes, it’s Frank
I need you more then ever
I’m cold
Nothing against Alicia
I need you.
My heart leapt into my throat.
Frank…needs me?
I stopped myself before jumping to conclusions, and fantasizing about Frank actually liking me and us having a relationship.
No…he mentioned Alicia…that means he still thinks we’re together.
I frowned, but re-read the text again. If he was cold, obviously he wasn’t in the tour bus, so I quickly decided to run out and find him.
It was pelting rain down so hard it stung. I couldn’t see a thing, but I couldn’t go back without finding Frank first.
Stumbling down around the venue which we were going to play at tomorrow, I wiped my glasses to clear away that rain dotting them. Straight away, I saw a huddled form near bushes growing by the stage.
Rushing over, I saw it was indeed Frank, and I yelled so that he could hear me from the loud rain splashing down and the spontaneous thunder claps.
“Frank!”
The world flashed and I rushed over when I saw him jump up. He was shivering cold, and I ushered him to the stage, where there was a cover to prevent any expensive equipment from getting ruined if weather like this happened.
Soaking wet, I regretted not getting an umbrella along with the jackets I had brought. I was still thankful for the warmth they supplied, and quickly covered Frank in the extra jacket.
“What the hell are you doing out here, Frank?”
He looked up, and my heart broke.
His face was wet, and not from the rain. It was obvious they were tear-stains and his eyes were glassy. His cheeks were flushed and eyes were red.
“He’s with Ray,” he whispered.
I looked down, knowing that he was crying because of my brother.
“I-I know…”
He squeezed his hand, “Damn it. Fuck. Shit. I hate him. I hate Ray. Why the hell did he have to take him away from me?! I wanted him first! He could never love Gerard the way I do!”
I looked on in shock, but then my eyes softened.
“Ray didn’t do this on purpose. They love each other. They didn’t say ‘Hey, let’s fuck around with Frank’s feelings and say we love each other!’ Hell, they probably don’t even know you take him seriously. I mean…life’s a bitch.”
Smiling softly, Frank added, “And so am I.”
I pulled him into a hug, “No…you’re just upset.”
Frank angrily wiped his face, “No, I really am! How could I say that about Ray? He’s a fucking great guy! He…he deserves Gerard. I don’t deserve anyone. I guess that’s why I don’t have anybody. Gee and Ray have each other, Bob has his girlfriend and you…well, you have Alicia.”
I accidentally gripped Frank’s arms tightly.
“Ouch! Damn, Mikey…”
I flushed, “Sorry! But, um…Frank. You really need to know that Alicia isn’t my girlfriend. She’s really just my friend…”
Frank smiled slightly, “Yeah…I was sort of coming to that conclusion. You didn’t seem too excited, and you weren’t really close to her. At least, not as much as someone in a relationship would be.”
“Um…it’s sort of cold, would you…do you want to get some blankets or something? I mean, if you don’t want to go inside…”
Frank gripped my shirt and shook his head, “N-No…I really can’t handle being alone right now, okay? I…I just need this. Right now, I need you, Mikey. I need someone to hold me and tell me it’s alright.”
“And that you’re not an asshole for being angry. And that he’s missing out because you’re a fucking great guy.”
Frank’s cheeks reddened even more, and he pressed his head to my chest.
“But he has Ray. That’s the only one he wants, so he’s not missing out. He deserves the best, and for him, the best is Ray,” Frank mumbled.
I looked down, and saw that the pattering of the rain was lulling him to sleep. His lashes were fluttering, his cheeks were flushed and his mouth was slightly parted.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down and not kiss the one person I really love, who happened to be sitting in my lap right now, clinging to me.
“Mikey…?” he whispered.
“Yeah?”
“Why do you put up with all my shit?”
My heart thudded loudly, and my ears started to ring. I could feel him breathing against my chest, his warmth contrasting the sodden cold.
“Because…”
“Hmm?” he said sleepily, and I knew that what I was going to say was going to be forgotten in the arms of sleep, which were slowly wrapping around Frank.
“Because you are the best for me.”
Blushing, I leaned down as Frank’s eyes closed and he drifted off. Breathing softly, I looked down on his face to see if he was asleep.
I quickly kissed his forehead and managed to murmur out, “It’s because I love you, dummy.”
And the rain had slowed to a patter, which lulled me to sleep too.
♠ ♠ ♠
Writing the end gave me a cavity. It was infinitely sweeter than what I usually write, especially with the kissing-of-foreheads-while-asleep and rain lulling people to sleep.Hopefully it wasn't too much for you guys. I hate to admit it, but I like the fluff sometimes.
And I bet you're all happy he admitted it out loud, even though Frank was pretty much dead to the world. It was a pretty epic thing for me too.