My Untitled Romance
Destiny
On the way home it was dead silent. Gerard couldn’t bring himself to drive so Bob offered to. Ray sat silently upfront. He just looked out the window with a saddened look on his face. Frank was doing the same only he was in the back behind Bob. It was the first time in the months that I have known him that he wasn’t hyper and had some sort of smirk on his face. Mikey sat next to Frank with a somber look on his face. He just looked down at his hands in grief almost coming to tears. Libby sat next to him, not knowing what to do or say. My mom had been like her second mom. Gerard was in between Libby and me. I was by the window behind Ray just trying to hold myself together until we got home. Gerard was trying to comfort me but let me be after awhile.
When we got home I locked myself in my room and got out my journal. This was the only thing that keeps me alive during difficult times. I need this more than ever now. I started writing the following to calm myself:
“Death is a weird and mysterious thing. It comes when you least expect it. When it does come it tears at your heart and pierces it like a well sharpened dagger. It only comes to the most precious, strongest, and most loved person. But I must not think these thoughts anymore for they will be the death of me if I do. I must carry on. That’s what mom would have wanted. That’s what Gerard wants I know. Things will be different with mom gone, but I know she’s watching me still. I need to be strong and prepare for what is yet to come.”
I heard a knock at the door as soon as I concluded my journal.
“Come in.” I said setting my journal aside.
Gerard came in with a concerned look on his face.
“Hey, you ok?” He said closing the door behind him.
“Heh, I’m fine as I’ll ever get.” I responded laying back in my bed.
Gerard didn’t respond back right away, but sat next to me on the edge of the bed. He looked as though he was summarizing the events that have happened in the past months. Me finding out that I actually do have a father that exists and an awesome one at that, how quickly that went, and now mom’s sudden tragic death. It hung in the air like some sort of odd stench. The unpleasant kind. He looked so depressed, lost, and lonely. It made me realize that I wasn’t the only one missing her. There were five other guys who knew her as much as I did maybe even more.
I began to wonder what they all were feeling right now. Probably horrible, I mean I would feel that way if I hadn’t seen someone I know for a long time and when I do see them they die suddenly the next month. I know they all feel this, especially Gerard. Now, to Gerard and the rest of the guys, I am a forever memory of her and what happened so long ago when Gerard left mom pregnant with me and didn’t come back until now.
Once all of my thoughts and realization had come through my mind like some sort of whirlwind of confusion Gerard finally spoke.
“I know it’s hard for you now, Claire, it’s hard for the guys and me too.”
“I know,” I responded, sitting up. “It just happened so unexpectedly and sudden. I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, don’t worry. We will figure things out eventually.” He said reassuringly, hugging me. “We just need to put some serious thought into this and settle things down before we get ahead to of ourselves.”
I just nodded thinking the same thing. He was in the same pickle as I was, maybe a bit more complicated one. But that’s how destiny works. Maybe this was some sort of sign that meant that something in my life had to change. I just hope things pan out more smoothly now and I get my life back into order soon.
When we got home I locked myself in my room and got out my journal. This was the only thing that keeps me alive during difficult times. I need this more than ever now. I started writing the following to calm myself:
“Death is a weird and mysterious thing. It comes when you least expect it. When it does come it tears at your heart and pierces it like a well sharpened dagger. It only comes to the most precious, strongest, and most loved person. But I must not think these thoughts anymore for they will be the death of me if I do. I must carry on. That’s what mom would have wanted. That’s what Gerard wants I know. Things will be different with mom gone, but I know she’s watching me still. I need to be strong and prepare for what is yet to come.”
I heard a knock at the door as soon as I concluded my journal.
“Come in.” I said setting my journal aside.
Gerard came in with a concerned look on his face.
“Hey, you ok?” He said closing the door behind him.
“Heh, I’m fine as I’ll ever get.” I responded laying back in my bed.
Gerard didn’t respond back right away, but sat next to me on the edge of the bed. He looked as though he was summarizing the events that have happened in the past months. Me finding out that I actually do have a father that exists and an awesome one at that, how quickly that went, and now mom’s sudden tragic death. It hung in the air like some sort of odd stench. The unpleasant kind. He looked so depressed, lost, and lonely. It made me realize that I wasn’t the only one missing her. There were five other guys who knew her as much as I did maybe even more.
I began to wonder what they all were feeling right now. Probably horrible, I mean I would feel that way if I hadn’t seen someone I know for a long time and when I do see them they die suddenly the next month. I know they all feel this, especially Gerard. Now, to Gerard and the rest of the guys, I am a forever memory of her and what happened so long ago when Gerard left mom pregnant with me and didn’t come back until now.
Once all of my thoughts and realization had come through my mind like some sort of whirlwind of confusion Gerard finally spoke.
“I know it’s hard for you now, Claire, it’s hard for the guys and me too.”
“I know,” I responded, sitting up. “It just happened so unexpectedly and sudden. I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, don’t worry. We will figure things out eventually.” He said reassuringly, hugging me. “We just need to put some serious thought into this and settle things down before we get ahead to of ourselves.”
I just nodded thinking the same thing. He was in the same pickle as I was, maybe a bit more complicated one. But that’s how destiny works. Maybe this was some sort of sign that meant that something in my life had to change. I just hope things pan out more smoothly now and I get my life back into order soon.