Diary of a Crush

January 12

So I actually really like my apartment. Before I moved in, all my furniture (which didn't really consist of much) had already been shifted in, but once I get some money coming in I can afford to buy more and in my head I can already imagine what its going to look like. The front door leads to the lounge which is basically just a large, open, creme-walled room with a sofa, an empty bookshelf, a small TV and a desk strewn across the wooden floor. Then the kitchen is, well, technically, in the lounge but with a small breakfast bar separating it. Then their are two doors on the left side of the lounge, one leads to the bathroom (it's small, but, like, its all mine so who cares. I had a forty minute shower last night) and the other leads to my bedroom which is so small I can only fit my bed and wardrobe in, there is literally no floor space but watevs at least all my clothes fit.

But I think what I like most about it is that it's mine. All mine. And when I woke up this morning and sun was streaming through the window (remind me to buy curtains) and I could smell fresh bread from the bakery down the road and the couple in the apartment below me were having a massive row because he was hitting on her sister, I had this amazing feeling that everything was going to be alright. And not like when someone asks you how you are and you reply 'yeah, alright' even though you actually feel like shit. Like, actually alright.

Then I got up and tripped over last nights dinner which was an empty Chinese food carton and cheesecake container, but even that couldn't spoil my good mood. Then it hit me how I'd treated Harry last night and I still hadn't apologised to him which was bad considering we were neighbours now, so I decided to go and share my good mood with him. Whether he liked it or not.

"Harry! Open up!" I banged on the door impatiently, the smell of the bakery food I'd brought us for breakfast as a sorry-for-being-a-bitch-yesterday was making my stomach rumble. I could hear through the door, a few chain locks being undone which made me jealous I didn't have any, then the door swung open and Harry was standing there in boxer briefs. Just boxer briefs. Nothing except for Boxer Briefs. I think I just needed to clarify.

Anyway I tried not to look, I swear I did, but he had such a toned stomach and chest and then those bones below his hips that I can never remember the name of but are so incredibly hot. "H-hey." I said, once I finally forced my eyes to meet his, but I could feel a blush spreading across my body and just meeting his gaze was making me feel all unnecessary.

"Hey! Come in!" He said, completely oblivious to the whole no-clothes situation he had going on. He held back the door for me to walk through and when I stepped inside his apartment, I immediately hated mine. He mumbled something about putting clothes on and disappeared through a door, but I barely noticed because I was too busy looking around his apartment, wondering how something like this could be next to my shit-hole. It looked like something out of those interior design magazines my mum used to always keep stacked in the lounge to make us look prestigious. Which, by the way, we weren't.

I was just taking a seat at one of those modern chairs that are shaped like eggs, when some girl with blonde hair that was totally bleached, walked into the kitchen wearing nothing but a shirt I recognised as the one Harry was wearing yesterday.

She saw me sitting there in the egg chair and it was one of those awkward moments girls always have where they try and suss each other out, which is basically like, am i prettier than you and if so I act like a bitch and if not, I'll still act like a bitch.

Nether of us had said anything yet and I felt like an idiot sitting in the egg chair but I didn't want to get up because I think I was sort of stuck, so I just crossed my legs. And that's about as sophisticated as one can be whilst sitting in a bright yellow egg chair.

"Hey." I finally said and she nodded at me, as if she was superior to me or something. Which, like, so not. She looked like a cheap hooker. Then again, I was sitting in an egg.

"Are you a friend of Harry's?" She said but it was more like 'are you a frend of harree?' I didn't really know how to answer that, because was I a friend of Harry's? So as I was about to nod and pretend we were best-friends since pre-school, Harry walked in wearing jeans and a shirt, his eyes darting between us.

"Did something happen to mum?" He finally said to me with a terrified look on his face. I frowned wondering what the fuck he was talking about and when the girl had her attention on me, waiting for my reply, he widened his eyes and nodded at me.

"Um -ah yes." I said, figuring it was the best option and the girl was looking back and forth between us trying to decipher what was happening, and quite frankly, so was I.

"Was it another heart attack?" he asked and I finally got where he was going with this. I looked down at the ground in a mournful way and then looked back up at him with a desolate expression "Yes," I whispered sadly, holding a hand over my eyes as if to hide my tears but actually to hide my laughter.

Once Harry had ushered the blond girl out the door (This is a really hard time for my family, you must understand), he came back inside and stood above me in the egg chair, looking down at me with a massive grin, his green yes glinting "That was bloody brilliant!"

"It was," I agreed "but can we can talk about it after I get out of this stupid egg because I think I'm stuck." He laughed and then wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up, I wrapped my arms around his neck and he smelt like vanilla and ground-coffee and my heart was beating really fast and before I could worry if he could hear it, he'd pulled me out of the dome and I had to let go.

I mumbled a thanks and he grabbed the brown bakery bag I'd left on the bench, and lead me towards a leather couch. "Thanks for bringing food by the way." He said as we tucked into the donut's.
"Thanks for putting up with me yesterday." I replied and he laughed "But seriously, I was tired and hungry and annoyed and acted like a major bitch so I hope these donut's make up for it because I'm actually not that bad once you get to know me."

He caught my eye over his donut and said "I doubt it, you are american after all." and then I laughed really hard even though it wasn't that funny and I kicked him and he apologised and then we kept eating. After a few more bites of donut, he stopped eating and looked at me again "I never actually learnt your name." So I told him my name and he said "Violet. That's a pretty name. Almost as pretty as you." And so I told him to shutup and eat his donut.