Diary of a Crush

September 29

Poppy got a boyfriend!

October 1

Poppy broke up with boyfriend.

October 3

"He seemed so nice, though." I said to Poppy in the kitchen as she prepared the muffin mixture for tomorrows batch and I sat on the bench pretending to stack the dishwasher but was really just annoying her.

"He was, but nice people are annoying." She replied, adding a few eggs to the mix.

"Mmm, I get what you mean... They make me kinda uncomfortable." I said thoughtfully, thinking back to 8th grade when I was forced to join the cheerleading squad because I needed extra activities due to my shit grades. All that pep and cheerfulness in one room was slightly nauseating. In fact, you really can't blame me for pushing Cindy Crackford over when she said I had pretty hair. Bitch. "Anyway, Halloween's in like a few weeks so we need to plan our decorations. I'm thinking we should turn this place into a horror house and have scary food, like bloody muffins and bloody cake and bloody burgers and-"

"Bloody brownie?"

"Ooh- good idea! And it's alliteration! I didn't know you were into Halloween too." I said with bursting enthusiasm and Poppy gave me one of her looks. The kind of look that has been known to kill a persons happiness in less than 0.344432546 seconds.

"I'm not, your just really easy to make fun of."

So the jist of the jist is that Poppy thinks Halloween is the governments way of brainwashing its citizens into believing we're all having good and fun lives to disguise the fact that we're actually working zombies numbed by our useless lack of intelligence. She also mentioned something along the lines of me being a stupid american idiot for being so easily fooled by a commercialised propaganda. Good fun. Also she said that she can't change anything about my stupidity but that our customers shouldn't have to suffer and that she forbids the Dolphin Cafe from ever celebrating or changing its appearance due to holiday celebrations. When I asked if this meant no lights or baubles at Christmas, she laughed hysterically and said "even if it kills me."

Sheesh, someone needs to borrow my voodoo doll.

When I got home after work later that day, Harry was waiting outside my apartment with a daffodil in his hand and a grin on his face. He held his hands over my eyes and led me inside my apartment and when he pulled his hands away, he muttered 'surprise' and he'd made my table all pretty with a cloth and candles and set it out with cutlery and everything. Then, sitting in the middle of the table looking incredibly inviting was a box of cocoa puffs and lucky charms, because that's how well we know each other.

We spent the rest of the night eating cereal and scrolling through the applicants to be my future room-mateys. Harry picked out one called Mia Geofrey because he said she looked smart but really it was just because in her icon picture she was wearing a tight low-cut singlett which gave a really nice view of her mother's goodies. She's really pretty so its going to be killer for my self-esteem but I have to admit she seemed like the best option, which wasn't really much of a feat considering a sex-offender messaged me. Anyway, I'm meeting her at the cafe tomorrow after work and then I'll show her the apartment afterwards.

October 4.

So, Mia's moving in next week. I think our meeting went pretty well except for a few minor hiccups. Like this incredibly awkward moment when we were on the subject of models and I was like: "I think models are so stupid, making money purely based on your looks has to be the most sad, pathetic thing in the world." And then she gave me this really cold look and said with narrowed eyes "I'm a model." Oops.

I immediately started murmuring all this awkward rubbish, like: "Oh, well, not all models are pathetic.. Just, you know, most... I mean not most, but like-" and this went on for a few good, solid minutes but then she laughed and said 'Don't worry about it. I've heard worse." Which was like so cool of her because if I were in her shoes, I would have thrown my drink in her face. And then killed her.

October 5

Woohoo! I asked May about decorating the Cafe for Halloween and she agreed it was a good idea, so long as I made the money for the decorations myself and brought bags of candy skulls. Yuss. I told Poppy about it, well, I didn't technically say it like to her face because I haven't talked to her since she called me a stupid american idiot and she's not talking to me because I've started wearing Halloween badges next to my name tag. Anyway, I was serving some lady a tea and scones (bloody British) and then I said really loudly to the lady "we're decorating the Cafe for Halloween and turning it into a horror house, so if your not doing anything for Halloween, feel free to spend it here." and then the lady replied she'd bring her grandchildren with her and said I was 'a lovely girl' and I could feel Poppy shooting daggers into the back of my head.

Then when I went back to the kitchen, she cornered me and called me a stupid blonde bubblehead and that the horror house was a stupid over-used idea and that she hoped I choked in my slutty american costume and then I told her she'd save money by not needing to buy a costume because her face was scary enough anyway and then she emptied a bag of flour over my head.

October 6

I'm never talking to Poppy ever again.