Blinded By Adoration

My alarm clock blared its usual annoying sounds before I punched it with my fist to make it shut up. I loudly sighed and groaned as I stepped out of bed and headed for the bathroom to take a shower. I didn’t want to go to work today. I thought about calling off for a couple days, but I realized I’d be completely bored at home. I took a quick shower and let my body air dry as I walked around the kitchen, making myself breakfast. I seriously love living on my own. I flipped the bacon around in the pan as I placed two pieces of bread into the toaster to cook. About a minute later, the pieces of toast popped out of the toaster and my bacon was done. I placed everything on a plate on the counter as I ran to my room to get dressed for today. I pulled a gray tank top over my head as I covered it with my uniform, a white button down shirt with blank dress pants. I shoved 4 clean uniforms and 4 outfits along with other random items such as deodorant, a tooth brush, a hair brush, and bobby pins into a perfectly sized gym bag I use while I’m away working. Thankfully, it’s only a 4 day cruise and not the normal 2 week ones I’ve been assigned to before. I pulled my hair up into a simple bun, bobby pinning the stray hairs. I sat down at the table to eat my breakfast before I heard my phone chime. I sighed and walked to my room to grab my phone. The text message “Hope you have a good day at work :)” from Vic popped up on my screen. I smiled and texted back a thanks and went back to eating my food. I just so happened to glance over at the clock and see that I had 20 minutes until the ship left. I threw the rest of my food in the trash, tossed my plate in the sink and sprinted to my room to grab my bag along with my shoes. I alternated hops as I slipped my shoes on and ran out the door to head to my car. I threw my bag in the back seat and turned the ignition on and began driving to get on the highway.

I parked my car in the lot the cruise line offers for workers and grabbed my bag from the back seat as I ran to the ship. I flashed my badge to the guys who were checking tickets and slowed my pace down once I got onto the main level. I searched for my boss, finding him in headquarters. I clocked in, and took my room key from the card holders and looked for my new room. They assigned the workers new rooms every time the ship takes off because sometimes passengers request certain rooms. I found room 32B and tossed my bag down on the bed and locked the door back. I headed back to headquarters to ask my boss what was on the agenda for this week’s cruise. “You and Angelina will be covering room waitressing for today.” He firmly nodded his head and shooed me and the black haired, blue eyed woman named Angelina off. I fucking hated room waitressing with a passion. The passengers were so snotty when I’d go to knock on their door to see if they needed anything. I tore off the slip of room numbers I had to cover today and quickly glanced at it before shoving it in my pocket.

I made my rounds, knocking on doors to see if there was anything I could get the passengers and of course… there was. “More towels” “I request a 5:30 wake up call” “Are you kidding me? This isn’t no shampoo!” One woman waved the small shampoo bottles the cruise line offers in my face. It took literally everything in me not to smack it out of her hand and walk out of the room.

I sighed, falling back onto my bed as I tossed my shoes into the corner of my room. I was so glad Angelina agreed to cover the rest of my rooms for tonight, I definitely owe her one for that. I unbuttoned my shirt as I tossed it on top of my bag along with my work pants and changed into a pair of knee-ripped jeans with a plain black V-neck. I took my hair out of the bun and ran my fingers through it a couple times before leaving it alone. I roamed the bottom deck, looking for the bar. I smiled when I saw Josh behind the counter, handing 2 shots to a bald headed man.

“Liquor me, baby!” I laughed as I sat down on one of the comfy bar stools infront of the island. Josh looked up from the desk and smiled “Jack?” “You know it!” I quickly downed the shot he had just handed me as it sent shivers down my spine. I needed that.

“What time do you get off?” I questioned the bartender. “10 more minutes” he pointed a thumb at the clock, glancing around the vacant bar. “Do you wanna go check out the activities then?” I smiled, eyeing his exposed tattoos. “Boss told me I’m gonna have to wearing long sleeves to cover up my tattoos or I’m gonna get fired” He shrugged. I rolled my eyes, body modification is beautiful… I just wish everyone saw the beauty in it. He finished wiping down the bar and went to headquarters to clock out as I waited for him outside the bar. I smiled when I saw Josh wearing a different outfit, emerging from the hallway.

We walked around the lower deck for about an hour, checking out the activities and entertainment that were going on before we parted ways, going back to our own rooms.

The past 3 days of the cruise was just like the first, except I didn’t talk to Josh again, or let Angelina cover for me anymore. When the ship docked back in California, I smiled. I missed my San Diego sun so much. I repositioned my bag on my shoulder and headed for my car. I fished for my keys in my pocket and unlocked it as I hopped inside, turning the ignition on and hearing the engine come to live once again. I pulled out of the lot, and stopped by a McDonald’s for a large sweet tea and continued to drive home.

I arrived to my house, throwing my bag down and removing my shoes as I plopped down face first onto my bed. I loved the ship’s comfy beds, but nothing compared to my fluffy cloud mattress. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand that’s been neglected for 4 days and plugged it in to let it charge before I could check my notifications. There was no need to bring my phone to work with me, so I always left it at home. I turned it on, waiting for it to load up as I turned my living room’s surround sound blast the current song that happened to be on the radio.

I walked back to my room and laid on my bed. What the fuck? I had 18 text messages, 10 missed calls, and 20 new twitter notifications. I clicked on my text messages first, seeing that I had 9 unread messages from Vic, 2 from an unknown number, 4 from Jullien and 3 from Angelina. I rolled my eyes as I looked at Jullien’s name on my phone. I checked Vic’s text messages first and chuckled.
“Morning Noah :)”
“We’ll be back in SD soon, wanna hang?”
“Are you okay?”
“You’re kinda worrying me… Noah, you okay?”
“I’ve called you 5 times, please answer and let me know you’re safe”
“I’m gonna call you after the show okay?”
“Hey, sorry I didn’t call you last night, we had a meeting with our manager.”
“You’re not mad at me, right?”
“Noah please call me…”

Vic was obviously not informed on my job. I sighed and looked at the text messages from Jullien that read
“I’ll be by at 6 to get my sweater”
“You’re ignoring me now? I told you I was coming by to get my shit, jeez!”
“You said you didn’t have work this week, what the fuck?”
“I’ll give you until Sunday to drop my shit off or I’m calling the police bitch”
I quickly texted back “You’re all butthurt over a sweater? You haven’t changed. I’ll drop your precious sweater off when I get around to it. And I changed my work schedule, not like that’s any of your business though.” I bitterly laughed to myself then checked the texts from Angelina. She wanted to hang out this weekend but I just told her I was tired. It was a lie, obviously. Well, not completely…

I looked at the messages from the unknown number as the knot in my stomach tightened. “hi sweetie haven’t talked to u in so long u ok” “its mommy btw I love u” I sucked on my bottom lip as I deleted the messages. Why was she contacting me? I made it clear the day I turned 18 that I never wanted to speak to her or anyone in my family again. And now all of a sudden after 6 years she wants to talk to me? No.

I searched my kitchen for any kind of liquor I could get my hands on, but I found none. I scribbled on another blank sheet of paper to remind myself to pick some up next time I go out.

I don’t want my mother back in my life, I don’t want Jullien back in my life. I ran back into my room to grab my phone and call Vic.

“Hello?” He answered
“Hey!”
“Noah! Oh my-wait, what the fuck? Are you okay?” His tone went from happy to completely serious in 2 seconds.
“Yeah, I’m fine” I laughed.
“What happened to you? You didn’t answer any of my texts or calls!” He nearly shouted through the phone
“I was away on work… I work on a cruise line, Vic, calm down” I giggled to myself.
I heard him loudly sigh in relief “Thank god!”
“Yeah…” I responded. What else was there to say?
“Are you busy tonight?” Vic laughed
“Actually, no. Probably just going to get more jack and dance around in my underwear” I joked.
He chuckled “We’re home for a couple days and I’d really love to hang out”
“Sounds great” I grinned, though he couldn’t see it.
“I’ll text you the address and time” He added
“Okay, bye” We hung up.

As soon as I clicked the end button, my phone beeped with a messaged. It was Vic, texting me the address. I knew the neighborhood, just not the place. He said to be there by 9, so I looked at my alarm clock sitting on my nightstand. It blinked 7:53 pm. Hmm… so about an hour to get ready, okay.

I went to my closet and searched through it for almost 15 minutes. This is when I’d usually call Lola and ask her what I should wear, but she’s still giving me the cold shoulder. I hope she’s not there tonight, I don’t want to feel awkward. I grabbed one of my old dresses I used to wear when I went and partied a couple years ago. I held it over my body, knowing there was no way I could still be able to fit into this thing. Just looking at this dress gave me the chills. The last time I wore it was 2 years ago when I went to my last real party. That’s the night when I fucked up so badly I was sent to rehab and lost all of my best friend’s trust.

I shook the memory out of my head and went to take a shower. I turned both the hot and cold knobs on, creating the perfect temperatured shower. When I got out, I wrapped a towel around my body and walked back into my room to start getting ready for tonight. I stepped into the dress, realizing I needed to start going back to the gym because this dress used to be loose on me and now it’s almost skin tight. I zipped up the strapless red dress with black lace as I went back to my closet to find shoes. I threw the simple black pumps on as I walked into the bathroom again to fix my hair and makeup.

I curled the ends of my hair as they bounced against my back. I quickly applied eyeliner and mascara before poking my head into my room to see the time. 10 more minutes. I sprayed my curls with hairspray as I finished my makeup and grabbed my phone from my bed. “On my way :)” I texted Vic.

I took the keys off of the hook in kitchen and walked to my car. I put the key in the ignition, turning it over and waited for it to start. I rolled down my windows, letting the breeze travel inside my car as I cruised the streets of San Diego.