Life Can Do Terrible Things

The first day of summer had begun just as I sat on my bed and heard the breaking of beer bottles echoing from downstairs. Mother was home. “One more year, just one more year” I whispered to myself. I dialed the familiar number I’ve dialed one too many times before and let the phone ring before my best friend of 2 years picked up. “Hello?” he answered. “Can I come over?” I desperately begged. “You know, you don’t have to ask.” I could almost feel his smile radiate through the phone. We hung up and I quickly grabbed my “go bag” – as I called it. I stuffed sweatpants and shirts inside, not knowing how long I’d be staying at his house. I opened my window to drop my bag down to the ground as I swung my legs over onto the edge and prepared myself to jump beside the bag. I made sure my curtains were closed before I began running 3 blocks away to my 2nd home. Well really, my only home. I did this almost every night. My mother doesn’t care if she ever sees me again, so why be in a home where I’m unwanted? Exactly. I finally got to Alex’s house. Alex is my best friend, of course.
I took a deep breath in before knocking on the front door. “You don’t have to knock, you know that right?” Alex opened the door and greeted me with a smile. “I don’t think your sister likes me…” I squinted my eyes to hide from the blinding sunlight. I stepped inside the home I knew like the back of my hand. “You know I love you, Stephanie. And you know, you can call me Danielle!” Danielle looked up from her book that she was reading on the couch and smiled reassuringly. I turned around to mentally face palm myself, ugh why was I so stupid? I gripped my bag and made my way upstairs to Alex’s room. “Ah alas, my old room! It’s been 2 days too long since I’ve saw you, no?” I laughed to myself. Alex leaned up against the door way and narrowed his eyes at me for a second before softening his face. I flung myself onto his bed and quietly sighed. “How you been?” Alex sat on the edge of the bed as he tried to swallow the lump that formed in his throat. “Okay” I said briefly. Alex slightly shook his head and I prepared myself for the lecture that I knew was about to come my way. “You’re not okay, Steph…” He mumbled. “Please, not now” I whined, desperation hinting in my voice. The room quickly grew quiet before I decided to remove the awkwardness. “Can I have a hug?” Alex turned around with a raised eyebrow. “A hug?” he questioned. “I don’t even remember the last time we hugged…” I trailed off. He laughed and scooted further up onto the bed to place himself next to me. Alex tightly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for the hug I’ve needed for so long now. I wrapped my arms around his back as I laid my head on his shoulder. After a second I felt the rumble of his laughter erupt “Are you tired?” “A nap wouldn’t hurt” I smiled after I pulled out of the hug. I laid myself back onto his bed and placed the wrinkled covers over myself with a grin. His lips formed a small smile as he began to scoot off of the bed. “Nooo” I cried, dragging out the o. Alex laughed as he turned around to face me. He rolled his eyes as he got my hint and crawled into bed beside me. He pulled the covers over himself as I smiled. “What?” he laughed. “Nothing” the smile stayed glued on my face. I stared into his eyes as he stared into mine, the room completely silent. The moment felt right so I said it… “I love you” I spoke barely above a whisper, hoping he didn’t hear. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips “I love you too… bud” I felt my heart drop along with my smile. The knot in my stomach tightened. “It’s been 2 years, Alex! Why are you so fucking oblivious to the fact that I’m in love with you?” My mind shouted. I closed my eyes and shifted in my spot. I didn’t want to be lying next to him anymore, I honestly felt like I was going to throw up.