Everything's Nothing, Without You

Alex's POV

4 months. 4 months since all our worlds seemed to fall apart. It's amazing how one person could change all of our lives. We never started to write or record our new album. We haven't even played one show. Me and the boys were taking this hard but Jack was taking it the worst. He thinks he should have been strong enough to protect her from him, but how could he. He was stabbed in two placed almost dying from blood loss. Thank god he's okay. Just two small scars remain on him. Jack's back to the way he was when him and Nicole broke up. Drinking non stop, being short tempered, trying to fight everyone he could even his friends. We all stood by his side though. If we didn't who knows what he would do. The only thing keeping him going is knowing that Nicole might wake up. To be honest, that was the only thing keeping me going.

Nicole was in a deep coma. The moment she hit her head on the coffee table she was out. When me and the medics got to the house Jack was on the couch bleeding, passed out, looking so helpless. And Nicole was bleeding from the head, graphic I know. It scared the shit out of me. I thought I lost 2 of my best friends. Well, I still might lose one. I know she'll pull through though. She's a fighter, she's going to make it,

As for Charlie; he's in jail for life. The fucker got what he deserved. The police had to pretty much hold me back because the minute I saw Jack and Nicole, I wanted to kill him. But he gets to rot his miserable life in jail.

Everyday one of us went to visit Nicole. Somedays we'd all go together, some days by ourselves. Today we all went together. We just sat around her, not saying a word. Sometimes we would reminisce on old memories to lighten the mood but today was not one of those days. I knew what we were all thinking; how long was this going to go on for? But before we knew it the doctor came in.

"Hey, Doctor" RIan stood up greeting him.

"Good Afternoon, Rian, boys" he said back. The doctor now knew us pretty well from being here every week. "I think its time we talk about Nicole" he said looking at his clip board.

"What do you mean?" Jack shot right out of the chair he was sitting in next to Nicole's bed, not taking his hand off hers.

"Well, it's been 4 months. She hasn't made any movement or improvement. I hate to say it, but i don't think she is going to wake up. It might be time to let her go" he said referring to the wires connected to her. She wasn't on life support since she was breathing and her heart was beating herself, but she did have tubes helping her stay alive.

"NO. No, no no no." Jack yelled. "We are not just going to let her fucking go. Are you kidding me?" She would never do that to us if we were in this position. How dare you!" He said now crying. Seeing him like that made me choke up a little bit.

"Listen, this is your choice since her parents gave you the papers to decide. I am just saying that it's most likely going to end up with bad news in the end" he said. It's true. Her parents gave us 3 boys the papers that decide what we should do with her. They lived in Texas now and even though they were here in Baltimore the first 2 months they had to go back home so they let us take over.

"There is so way we're doing that, Doctor" Zack said. "She's going to wake up. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but you're wrong"

"I was just suggesting, but it is your choice" he said clearing his throat. "You guys should probably go back to your lives though. It's very sweet that you visit everyday but it's unhealthy that your lives have completely stopped. Rian, I overheard you last week that your band was offered a two month tour. I think you guys should take up that offer. We can contact you everyday on how she is"

We all just sat there. Teats and anger coming from Jacks face. Zack's eyes were glossy and me and Rian sort of just stared at each other.

"I'm not leaving her" Jack stated quietly, removing the silence from the room.

I finally said something to the doctor about letting him know when we make the decision so he would leave us to talk.

I didn't want to leave her here but maybe it was a good idea. THe doctor was right, we have to keep going with out lives. Our fans haven't really heard from us, the label was not getting annoyed and i'm sure Nicole would want us to do it.

"Guys, maybe he's right. Maybe we should do this tour. It's only two months and its a state tour so if anything happens we'll only be a flight away" I said.

"I dont know man. It doesn't feel right to leave her. I don't even know if I could" Zack said holding back tears and then put his elbows on his knees and but his face in his palms.

"Let's just go home and think about it. Nicole would kick our ass if she found out we could tour with Blink 182 and didn't take the offer" Rian chuckled slightly but then stopped realizing that he still didn't feel right about leaving and he picked up his jacket from his chair.

We all started getting up and gathering our stuff. Each of us went over and gave Nicole a kiss on her forehead and left.

Jack stayed like usual. He liked staying a bit longer than the rest of us which I could understand.

Now I had to go home and make a decision about tour. Fuck.

Jack's POV

Everybody left, now leaving just me and Nicole. I was holding her hand never wanting to let go of it. She looked beautiful even with the tubes and wires.

I dont think I had the strength to leave her for two months.

For at least two hours everyday I stayed with her. I would just talk to her. Sometimes about my dad, which consisted of nothing. Other times about how I miss and love her.

Recently I've been writing in her journal for her. About what the boys, Cass and Lisa have been up too, and even love notes to her. I would even read some of her entries before the accident to her to maybe help her to wake up.

She said that she would marry me that morning. That was the only thing I remember vividly. We were going to be forever and now I don't know if she's going to make it to next month. I really wish I hadn't opened that door that day. I wouldn't be at this hospital. I would be planning my wedding with the love of my life, and touring with my best friends. I wish it was me instead of her. I wish I could have stopped it. But I didnt, and I blame myself for that.

Thinking about this made me cry harder, that's all I seem to do lately besides drink. I leaned into her wishing she could just hold me in her arms.

"I love you. Im never gonna let you go, I promise. When you wake up, i'll be right here" I said kissing her forehead and the stood up and left.

I got into my car and just sat there for a minute. I dont think I could go on this tour. I dont even care that it's with Blink.