To Set You Free

I take a large gulp of wine, finishing the rest of the red liquid. From the corner of my eye I can see Annie sitting crossed legged on the opposite side of couch. Her arms are tightly crossed against her chest and her smug look lets me know that she has something on her mind.

"Okay let me have it," I put the television on mute and turn to face her fully.

"Sometimes, most of the time, I feel like I have more sense than you do," She lets out a puff of air, like a sigh of relief.

"You're a teenager, all teenagers think that. I thought that."

"I wouldn't take my children on a weekend long vacation with an ex who is famous and newly engaged just because he gets you all hot and heavy."

"He does not!" I say defensively. He doesn't all the time.

"I also wouldn't take my kids on a weekend long vacation with a guy they don't know, who just happens to be their father."

I just look at her, I can not believe Annie, of all people, is scolding me about leaving this weekend.

"Look," Annie says once she sees that I'm getting upset. "I just know something bad will happen. Are you ready for him to find out about them? Or when Wyatt and Kinleigh start to like being with Tommy, what will you tell them when he up and leaves with his soon to be wife? I don't want to have to pick up the pieces of this fantasy that you are hoping for. I will, if I have to because I love you, but I'll be telling you I told you so."

"I just want to be happy. Tommy makes me happy. I know that this is wrong, I just can't stop myself. He's an addiction."

"I just want you to sleep on the words I said okay? I don't want to see you hurt, I've heard stories," She smiles, "It doesn't seem like a fun time."

I laugh. Leave it to Annie to make a serious conversation into a joke. I hug her tightly before she takes my wine glass, deposits it in the sink and gives a little wave before walking out of the door.

This time tomorrow the kids, Tommy and I will be in sunny Miami, Florida. Annie is right, I have to be prepared for what might happen. Anytime I think of something negative, I always picture Tommy laughing and playing right along side his children, even if they don't know who each other really is. It would be my secret dream come true. I know I boast about being able to raise to children by myself with only the help of two other people, but it would be nice to depend on a male figure who is indeed the father.

I turn off the television and head into my room. I knew that shortly Kinleigh followed by Wyatt would be climbing on either side of me. If I didn't go to sleep now, I would be guaranteed an entire sleep of elbows and knees poking into me.

*

Tommy and I decide to board the plane separately. I watched as people starred and took pictures while a body guard tried to shield him. I'm thankful that I nor my children were with him. I wouldn't want to have to explain that to the press. It was already hard enough to come up with a lie to tell Celia why both myself and her son were leaving the same weekend.

"Mommy, why is everyone taking Tommy's picture?" Kinleigh asked.

"Well you know how you hear people on the radio?"

"Yeah?"

"He's one of those voices, and people want to take a picture of him because it's not every day you get to see someone who sings on the radio."

"Does that mean that we're special because he is our friend?"

I smile down at my daughter who is always thirsty for knowledge. "In a way but we have to pretend not to know him remember?" I've turned this into the not knowing Tommy game. Who ever pretended the best got a piece of candy. Anything with candy and my kids are all for it.

I take both Kinleigh and Wyatt by their small hands and lead them to the waiting area. The plane was due to board in twenty minutes. While waiting Tommy and a big body guard take a seat beside me. He gives a little sneaky smirk, which I return.

"Hello," he says politely.

"Oh my god, you're Tommy Van Pierce!" I mock in a whisper. Tommy rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to his body guard.

Tommy is allowed to board the plane first, to get out of the spotlight. "I'll save three seats," he whispers before flashing his ticket to a flight attendant and entering the plane.

Everyone else is finally allowed on. I am thankful that Tommy insisted paying for our first class tickets.

Tommy is smiling up at me when we board. His body guard is sitting in the aisle next to him, allowing one empty seat as well as two empty seats in front of him.

"Okay I'm going to have to split you guys up, which one of you wants to sit here?" I ask Wyatt and Kinleigh pointing to the seat beside Tommy.

Kinleigh's hand shoots up, she always wants to be independent. I smile and let go of her hand so she can shimmy up onto the seat.

"Hi, I'm Tommy," Tommy smiles.

"I know!" Kinleigh starts, almost forgetting the game. "I uh, know your voice."

I hear Tommy laugh and ask if she would like the window seat. She agrees and they switch spots. I snuggle into the plush chair and try to get comfortable. I never liked airplanes. I expected Wyatt and Kinleigh to freak but they loved every minute, even the take off and landing.

*

The hotel room, or small house twenty floors in the air, is utterly breath taking. It is completed with a dull kitchen, dining room, living room, a bathroom, bedroom and finally a master suite that doubles my room back home.

"Who won Mama?" Wyatt asked, regarding the game we played on the plane and in the airport.

"Well," I drag out, "I think both of you did an amazing job," I pull out my wallet and produce two crisp one dollar bills and watch Wyatt and Kinleigh's eyes glow. If only a dollar was worth that much to an adult.

I look at Tommy who is smiling but he isn't here mentally. I bite my lip nervously, maybe he was changing his mind about this whole weekend.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing," He shakes his head as if he was clearing his mind. "Really cute kids, they remind me of how I was as a kid."

My eyes grow wide. "I think everyone at that age think that they are millionaires when handed a dollar," I say quickly, trying to laugh it off like a joke.

"Yeah," He smiles sweetly and I know that I am back onto safe territory. "What do you want to do? We can go to Jungle Island, or tour the everglades, the beach?"

"I don't know they all seem so much fun. Why don't they choose?"

"Hey Wyatt, Kinleigh!" Tommy calls them from the other room. "What sounds more fun, Jungle Island, the everglades, or the beach?"

All at one my kids shout, "The beach!"

*

I pull my cover up over my body after I help Kinleigh and Wyatt into their swimsuits. I've suddenly become self conscious of my new body. Tommy has only seen me stick thin, not a body that carried two children at once. I scrutinize every inch about myself, I wish I would of had time to go buy a one piece or a less revealing two piece.

Tommy knocks on the bedroom door, "Elena, lets go!"

I give a heavy sigh and unlock the door. I see him smiling down at me with the kids smiling up, pales and little shovels in hand.

"Let's go to the beach!" I announce.

*

The beach isn't as crowded as I expected. The locals, who are acclimated to this weather, think it is too cold to spend the day at the beach, but to us, the weather is perfect.

Kinleigh and Wyatt immerse themselves in making a sandcastle with the help of Tommy. I watch from the beach towel that is higher up on the beach. I watched as some of the other sunbathers noticed that they were sharing the same beach as a famous person. Soon they were pulling out their cameras and snapping pictures. Pictures of him building a sandcastle, with my kids, with his kids. I begin to get nervous, what if someone starts to question? What is this ends up on a magazine cover and Quinn finds out? I'll be called a home wrecker, my kids will be made fun of.

Quickly I make my way down the beach to where the sand is damp from high tide. "Tommy, people are starting to take pictures," I whisper down at him.

He looks up at the growing crowd with cameras flashing, "So they are. Hey kids, want to go swimming?"

I expected him to say something about wanting to go back up to the hotel room, not go out into the ocean so more people can take pictures of us. "What?"

"Yeah, with all the waves people won't get good pictures. It'll be alright, Elena, promise. So take off your little dress and come get in the water with us."

"Yeah, mom," Wyatt yells, emphasizing the word mom.

"No, that's okay. Maybe we should just go back to the room."

Tommy gives me a look, that look. He knows that I'm not just bothered by the paparazzi of people. "Hey guys why don't you go put on a little more sunscreen on before we go into the water."

I was surprised that both Wyatt and Kinleigh listened to him when it is like pulling teeth to get them to do what I tell them to do. Once they are out of ear shot Tommy says, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I try to say. "It's just all these people are here."

"You knew that there would be people. We aren't doing anything wrong. We're just friends who are at the beach building a sandcastle. It's not like I'm trying to kiss you, even though I really want to," He gives me a little smirk. "Now take off your cover up and get into that water with me and your kids, or am I going to have to carry you in there? And if I do that, there will be a story to talk about."

"No, I'll just watch. Go on, they seem to be having fun with you."

"But they'll have more fun with both of us. Now tell me what is wrong, Elena."

I look down at the sand, "I just don't want to be wearing my bathing suit and having my picture being taken, especially if I'm going to be wearing next to nothing around you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't want you to see how fat I've gotten."

"You seriously think you're fat? Elena, you're healthy. You had two kids at the same time for goodness sake. Be proud of your body."

I look back at where I left the beach towels. Wyatt and Kinleigh are spreading white lotion onto their arms and legs. "Fine."

I peal my security up and over my shoulders than my head. "Happy?" I asked sarcastically.

"You are so beautiful. I can't wait until we are alone so I can kiss you. Now go grab your kids, I'll be swimming with the sharks," Tommy grinned before taking off for the water.

I smile like a school girl. Tommy Van Pierce called me beautiful. He still thinks I'm beautiful even when I feel like scum.