To Set You Free

I slipped out of my shoes while putting my purse on the table near the front door. I hear splashing of two kids in the bath.

"Make yourself at home. Beer in the fridge, I'll start the coffee in a minute," I turn to Tommy who is taking in the place.

He nods slightly as I round the corner to the bathroom. Through the light wood door Annie is sitting on the toilet while Wyatt and Kinleigh are splashing in the tub.

"Mommy!" Kinleigh squeals. Wyatt pays no attention, instead he guides his dirt bike the length of the tub then splashes it into the water.

"Hi babies, lets get out. I want you to meet somebody."

I grab a towel and wrap it around Kinleigh before lifting her out of the tub and into my arms. Annie does the same with Wyatt after pulling the plug that keeps the water from draining. We take the short walk to their shared bedroom to get them dressed for bed.

"You brought him back to meet your kids, his kids?" Annie whispered harshly.

I shrug my shoulders, "He wanted to meet them. It's a small town, he's bound to run into all of us sometime. Might as well meet them on my terms," I pull Kinleigh's Little Mermaid nightgown over her head. "Tell Aunt Annie night."

Annie kissed and hugged both my kids before heading out of the room before me. I can hear Tommy give a pleasant hello but it returned with nothing. I take both Wyatt's and Kinleigh's hand and guide them to the living room.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Tommy asked before registering that there are kids in the room.

"Tommy, these are my kids. Wyatt and Kinleigh. Guys, can you say hi to Tommy?"

"Hi," Kinleigh says proudly. Wyatt says nothing. The only other guy he is used to being around is Eric. He stares, sizing him before muttering a quiet, "hey."

"Hey guys. Kinleigh that's a pretty dress. Is that Ariel?" Tommy crouches down to be eye level with them.

"Yeah, she's a Mermaid. She's not real though because people can't be fish," Kinleigh declares in a teacher tone.

"I did not know that. Thanks for telling me," Tommy chuckles heartily. "Hey Wyatt, your mom tells me that you are a daredevil?"

Wyatt forgets momentarily that he doesn't like Tommy. "Yeah I am! I can do a double 360 back flip superman. Wanna see?"

Before Tommy had a chance to respond, Wyatt was rushing to the couch and climbing on the back. Quickly Wyatt bends his knees, juts his arms out in the air in front of him, and leaped out and off the couch attempting to spin and twirl mid flight. He landed with a thud on his hands and knees.

"Wyatt Anthony! What have I told you!" I say in my stern mother voice.

Wyatt gets up, brushes off the invisible dirt and shrugs his shoulders. I hated when he did that. Tommy used to do that a lot.

"Mommy says that if you're gonna act crazy then don't catch yourself with your hands. You'll break 'em!" Kinleigh interjects.

"Well!" Wyatt throws his hands up. "I don't want to break my head!"

Tommy laughs loudly. "You know what you could do. Take all of the pillows and blankets and put them in a pile and you could fall in that."

"Mama, he's smart," Kinleigh tugs on my jeans while whispering.

I smile, "Okay time for bed."

Wyatt took Tommy's hand, "Come on, you can read me My favorite book!"

"What's your favorite book?" Tommy asks while being led through the back hallway.

"Where the wild things are," Wyatt says simply as he climbs up into his bed and snuggles deep under the covers. "Mama calls me a wild rumpus."

I help Kinleigh into her bed and pull the covers up to her chin as Tommy takes a seat in the chair sitting in between both beds. I hand him the book with a small smile, he takes the book and returns the smile.

I stand in the doorway and watch Tommy read and flip through the pages. "And Max, the king of all wild things, was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all."

Seeing this both broke and mended my heart. My kids finally get to spend time with their father, they may not know who one another are but it's better than how it would have been. Some days, some moments, like the one I'm in, I want to tell everyone. I want to shout it to the world. Thomas Van Pierce is the father of my children. Then I'm brought back into reality and realize that if I told anyone who already doesn't know would destroy everything that I've worked so hard to create.

"But the wild things cried," Tommy reads.

"Oh please don't go- We'll eat you up- we love you so!" Wyatt claps his hands together. That is his favorite part.

Tommy smiles and continues to read. I glance over at Kinleigh, who is studying Tommy carefully. She is taking in everything about him, absorbing everything he says like she'll never be able to hear again.

Tommy closes the book and I enter the room fully again. "Tell Tommy good night," I says as I lean over Wyatt to kiss the top of his head. "Tell him thank you for reading so well," I now lean over Kinleigh and place a feather light kiss on her forehead. "Night babies, I love you."

"Thanks, Tommy," Wyatt and Kinleigh said. "Love you mama," They both roll over and snuggle into their beds.

*

I pour a two cups of coffee, one for myself and another for Tommy, as Tommy steps out onto the balcony.

"Here," I hand him the cup of dark liquid and steam. He takes it gratefully before taking a small sip.

"Thanks," Tommy takes another drink. "Cute kids."

"Thanks."

I sit in one of the two lawn chairs and pull an old hoodie closer to my body. "So what about you? Are kids in your future? I know that you were a big fan of them, but is Quinn?"

Tommy gives a loud laugh. "God no. She absolutely hates kids. I think she hated herself as a kid."

A simple oh was all I could manage.

"Yeah, I am I would like kids. It would nice to be able to teach them things, be able to teach them right from wrong. Comfort them when needed. I think I'd be a good dad, but I guess we'll never know."

"I was so afraid that I would be like my mom. When I first found out I was so alone. I didn't have anyone, I was so lost, but eventually I got over it and the fatter I got the happier I got. When I found our I was having twins, I was so over joyed."

"What was their dad like?" Tommy turns to me. For a moment I think that he's figured out. He knows that Wyatt and Kinleigh are his. "Do they ever ask about him?

"He was, but he moved away. That night was a big mistake, yet I'm glad it happened," I start to say. "Sometimes. Kinleigh more than Wyatt. She sees dads pick up her friends from school and wonders why she doesn't have one. I tell her what she needs to know. I tell her that it's okay not to have a dad."

"I didn't until recently, and I turned out okay," I've never met his father, I've always imaged him as a broad shouldered, suit wearing man.

"Yeah I read online that your dad has become very involved with your life."

"Yeah, he lives in California, and when I first got down there I got a hold of him and it just took off from there. We're really close, except when it comes to Quinn. They hate each other. It's worse than my mom and you."

"Your mother and I are on good terms now, thank you very much."

"That's good."

We fall into a comfortable silence. I drain my cup of coffee as I watch the stars twinkle high in the sky. After a while, my hands being to get cold from the cold October breeze. I stand and offer to get more coffee.

I start another batch of coffee as I hear the sliding door open and close again. I look up, Tommy is now standing across from me.

"Too cold, and lonely."

I smile and turn back to the coffee pot. Tommy rounds the counter and is now in the kitchen with me. It seems to cramped with both of us, the proximity of our body's fog my head.

"Can you get the sugar? It's up there," I open a cabinet and the white bag of sugar sits on the top shelf.

Tommy reaches above me, his chest stretched across my back.

"Here you go," Tommy set the bag of sugar on the counter top.

"Thanks," I say quietly.

He doesn't leave though. Tommy still has his chest pressed against my back. I can hear his heavy breath in my ear. Without thinking, I turn and plant my lips firmly on his. Tommy cups my face with his hands keeping me in my place, though I have no desire to go anywhere else. I stick my fingers in Tommy's belt loops to pull him even closer.

"Mommy?" Kinleigh enters the kitchen rubbing her eyes.

In an instant Tommy is on the opposite side of the kitchen, near the fridge.

"What Kin?" I ask trying to control my breathing.

"I can't fall asleep. Can you read another story?"

"Sure baby. Why don't you go pick one out and I'll be in, in a minute."

I wait until Kinleigh is out of ear shot before turning to Tommy.

"Yeah, I should go," He offers.

"Good idea," I try to give a small smile.

"I'll see you later," Tommy kisses me once more. Most likely out of habit. He realizes what he's doing and turns a bright red color. Quickly he rushes to the front door and leaves.

I take a moment to gather my thoughts before returning to my kids bedroom to read yet another children's book.