Heart Attacks Waiting to Happen

"What?" he asked.

"My back..."

"Shit I am sorry! I keep forgetting about that!"

"No Oli I can't feel my back. Nothing at all. I didn't feel your arms and I can't feel the rain." I said felt myself start to panic.

"Fuck. To the ER now."

"No you have a show and you can't miss another one."

"But what if-"

"Oli please."

"Alright but then we go."

~

"Nerve damage?" I repeated for the millionth time. "Am I going to get the felling back at all?"

"That isn't likely."

"What can we try to help?" Oli asked and grabbed my hand.

"Therapy. I'll need you back here in a couple weeks Muse."

"No sorry but no." I said numbly and stood up. "I don't want anything more to do with doctors. Nothing good ever comes out of it." I walked out of the office and went to wait in the car.

"Muse we-"

"No. No more damned doctors." I said and hated that my voice cracked. "I don't care. I just can't deal with it anymore."

"If the stuff spreads you have to tell me though."

"I will but I wont go back in there until I have to."

"Okay." he said softly and grabbed my hand. "Muse I am so-"

"If you tell me you're sorry I will hurt you." I growled.

"Well what do you want me to say?! Your back is officially screwed because of what you did for me!"

"Hey don't get angry at me! I didn't ask for you to start liking me! Stop with the damn guilt trip Oli because there is no damn reason for it!"

"You make it sound like it is a bad thing!"

"The guilt trip is a bad thing!"

"Not that! You make it sound like me liking you is a curse!"

"It isn't! I just don't like the god forsaken guilt trip!"

"Well I do feel guilty! Sorry for feeling like this is my fault when this happened because of me!"

"It did not happen because of you! It happened because I wanted to and because I felt like I owed it to you! You saved my life and risked your safety because you thought that you could help my mom!"

"Owed it to me?" he asked slowly. Maybe I said it the wrong way. No going back now.

"Yeah."

"Wow nice to know that I mean that much to you Muse." he hissed and parked the car. I hadn't noticed that we were already back. He got out and stomped away. I got out of the car and numbly walked back to the bus and sank onto the couch next to Austin.

"Hey what up Muse? You and Oli kinda disappeared."

"We went to the ER because I lost feeling in my back." I said in a deadpan voice.

"Oh shit. Did they tell you why?"

"Nerve damage and they don't think that I'll get it back either."

"Alright I know you. You wouldn't be like this over something like that. You would stay strong and let it pass. What happened?"

"Me and Oli got into a fight. He thinks that I don't really like him and what in the hell am I supposed to do now?!"

"Hey Muse he will pull his head outta his ass. Oli loves you." Austin said and put his arm around my back.

"Yeah but he is so angry at me and I can't feel most of it when he hugs me and I can't feel your damn arm on my back. I can feel a bit of pressure but that is all." I said and kicked the floor. "What is he decides that he doesn't like me?"

"He wont do that." Austin said and kissed the top of my head. I leaned against his side and sighed sadly.

"Austin why are you such a good friend?"

"Because I want to be. If I didn't like you I would be a total ass." he laughed.

"I am glad that I am not on your shit list then because I need your bright company."