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I thanked the parents and shook their hand again as they left with smiles on their faces. There was another family coming in already and I look up, my eyes widening at the sight. All too familiar anxiety filling my body.
I let out a shaky breathe at the sight of the man now approaching me. I never thought I would see him ever again. I had spent years getting over the pain the man and his group of friends caused me, the hell I had been put through.

***
Despite the drama of the last few weeks, it was only the start of the year. I still can't remember my time table so I look down to check the paper that was folded in my pocket. Biting my lips with nerves when I read the next lesson: Gym.

I know for a fact Randy is in my class. As well as a whole bunch of other overly tanned, muscled, wrestling ass holes that seem to live to mock me in every way possible.

I sigh heavily as I make my way to the changing rooms, keeping my head down as a attempt to shield myself from the eminent torment.

"Oh here he is now..." Randy, the leader of the group is who I see when I look up at the noise; he is talking to Mr Helmsley, the teacher of gym and the wrestling team. How perfect?
He is also a big man, with sandy shoulder length hair and short stubble. He grips my shoulder to prevent me walking past with a serious look on his face. Nodding to Randy to continue.

"You see sir, Lowery is a fag" I suck in my cheek at that word facing my head away as he keeps talking.

"... So I don't think it would be appropriate for me or any of the other guys to share a changing room with him. I mean, he practically molested Rhodes a few weeks back"

I shake my head slowly, annoyed at this statement.
Cody, or 'Rhodes' as he was called by the bunch of apes (they often referred to each other by their last names), was a guy I met a few weeks back at a party. He told me he was on the wrestling team, he was a year younger than me and his dad was a mayor. And more importantly nobody knew he was gay. He was shy, cute and we kissed. Sadly for me he is also friends with the biggest prick in my school who also happened to walk in at the wrong moment.

Obviously the typical queer and fag insults got rained down on me and after they oh so nicely sprayed my car with the word 'fairy' I thought it was over with. But I was so so wrong.

He had made my life a misery since.

And he was still talking now, to the teacher that worshipped him and would obviously be on his side. A few people gathered about to listen to the rant and what Mr Helmsley would say. Humiliating.

"I mean no disrespect sir ,however I don't think my father would -" Randy was cut off by Mr Helmsley nodding understandingly and putting his hand up. Randy was his fucking favourite. He turns and looks at me;

"Keep your eyes to yourself in there, Lowery" he says aggressively while he motions his head to the changing room, and I walk in, ignoring the smirk on Randys face as he thanks him.

***
The fact that I had long bleach blonde hair, dressed like I was in the eagles and listened to rock/country didn't help the torment either. But that wasn't the issue for me, sure I got the odd comment but that would happen anyway. The worst things was the gay jokes. The constant "fag" or "queer" chant or mutter.

Them words swirl around my head as Randy now with his wife, shoos his daughter into the corner, smiling as he watches her begin to play. I feel like flipping the table upside down and running out of here, run back home, back to the safety of my room and Ginger. Oh god, do I want Ginger right now.

But I can't. I love this job and worked way to hard to get here. The memories are strong and coming back more as I try to avoid his gaze. I stick my hand out as I suggest for them to take a seat. There is no avoiding it now, I'm going to have to look at him. I can feel the teacher assistant look at me confused from the corner as she plays with Randys daughter.

I breathe in and sit up, "Hi, I'm Mr Lowery" I smile to his wife, shaking his hand and move to turn him. A unsure expression on his face as our eyes meet and hands shake limply.

***
Gym was just as horrible as expected. The others labelled where I was forced to get changed the "queer corner", I got things thrown at me. And insults, of course those disgusting words and phrases where taunting me the entire time.

I get pushed over almost every time Randy or one of his friends sees me. This day was no exception. After weeks of this torment I'm starting to get pretty annoyed.

Its lunch, so I finally have a free hour and I'm relieved to be able to sort through my homework to make sure what I have and haven't done. Some catch up might be needed and its the perfect time to do it. I walk through the cafiteria, looking around for my few friends I suddenly trip up. Hitting something on the floor that made me loose my footing and land hard on my hands and knees.

A string of cheers and laughs echo around me and I turn, looking under my hair to see that dick head sitting on a chair with his leg out. A bunch of guys high fiving him and girls giggling around as they look goo eyed at him. I go to stand but food and drinks just get thrown on to me, wetting and dirtying my skin and clothes.

More laughter and chanting erupted.

The anger in me rising as I turn around and stood up. Randy chuckled some more; "You want something, faggot?"

"Go fuck yourself" I couldn't believe I said it and neither could he, he breathed out, smirking to his friends then turning to me again eyebrows raised.

"You better watch that mouth of yours, Lowery" he leans back, folding his arms

"Fuck you, you dumb shit. You're only here because your moms probably fucking the principle" I say, using the fact he is a idiot and the rumour of his mum being a whore to my advantage.
Gasps and "Oooo"s came from his friends. He stood up. And oh shit is he a lot taller and wider than me, suddenly punching me hard in the face before I know it I hit back and soon we are in a fight.

Well by fight I mean, I landed one okay hit and then him and one of his boys kicking me onto the ground.

"YOU FUCKING DIRTY QUEER" he shouts whilst landing blow after blow onto my ribs so hard that I hear a crack and see black.

***

"So Alanna is a good student..." I stop to look up his wife smiling, eager to know more about her child whilst Randy gives me a odd look, he obviously recognises me too. I continue when I see the principle in there, also looking at me.

Being gay and covered in tattoos made me nervous of applying for this job I wanted so badly.

"Alanna adores you" His wife smiles nodding and adding; "She has learnt so much since you started, you are obviously a good teacher" I notice Randy has his head bowed and is looking rather... ashamed?

I smile widely all the stuff is what I love about this job so I take a deep breath, smiling at the principle and continuing now with a new leash of confidence.

***
I had a few days off to recover from the bruising that was on my ribs.
The end of the day was approaching and I tried to concentrate in math, its one of the lessons I liked and I scribbled down the different equations working them out roughly in a bid to focus however I felt the anxious ball of dread in my chest for when I would leave. I knew they would be waiting for me and they was. I got the shit kicked out of me and called names again and again.

This harassment went on for another year, calming occasionally then coming back stronger. I spent so long being so angry, wanting something bad to happen to them. So long being sad, crying to one of the older maids who would comfort me when my parents wasn't around.

When I left school I realised I needed to more away for college. A whole new start.

I remember the panic attacks. How I would be travelling somewhere and speed walk, my breathe fastening as my chest closed up and my heart would pump in my ears. Fear filling my every thought and my body feeling weak.

I didn't drink or party in college and I still felt like the loser.

Then I met a guy.

As typical as these stories go, its true, I met a shy, nice guy. Who came over to me nervously asking the time as his friends snickered and watched. This man is Ginger and he helped make everything better.

My first time, first love. Although quiet when we began a relationship he wanted to go out on dates and hold hands and show everyone that two men could love each other. I couldn't, for a good while it was too hard. But he would nod understandingly and hold me and call me beautiful and special and say how madly in love with me he was and it felt fucking amazing.
It still feels amazing and where I used to feel like I didn't deserve it I now feel comfort from all the attention.

When I told Ginger about my high school experience, I was laying on his chest, his arms around me as he stroked my back soothingly. He held me closer when I spoke and when I finished said;
"Hey I bet that Randy guy had a crush on you" laughing lightly, I just shook my head,

"No seriously, guys like that are all the same. He had to make a show about you being gay because he wanted to show other people he hated homosexuality. He wanted to separate himself. Because he probably hated the fact he thought you where fucking hot" and I laughed this time, relaxing even more.

I sigh as I open the door, the house dimly lit and Ginger walks from the kitchen, "Hey gorgeous" he stroked my arm as he kissed my cheek.

I smile as we kiss properly, making the embrace longer.

I go to tell him about the events of the past half hour but decide against it. Realising the past is gone and doesn't matter. What matters is this will be the past some day but it isn't. I'm here, with him and it is all so beautiful.