Breathe Life Into Me

Brit’s POV

Just seeing Cas in front of us…watching TV…acting the way he used to…it was all too surreal. “What's the latest?” Dean asked, bringing in a pack of beer.

“The latest is…nothing. It's like it all stopped. No freak disappearances linked to any freak natural events” Sam explained. I felt his eyes watching me.

“So how many have we got, seven?” I asked monotonously.

“Yeah…Luigi, Justin, Aaron, Maria…”

“Maria, Dennis, Krista, Sven” Cas voiced. We all looked at him. “I missed television” he sighed.

“Wait, Cas. How did you know those are the names?” Sam asked.

“Well, they're prophets”

“Prophets?” Dean inquired.

“Yeah, angels instinctively know the names of every prophet: past, present, and future”

“So this list is the name of every one of them that exists?” I asked.

“Yes, until the next generation is born. Plus Kevin Tran, of course. The other seven are future prophets, since uhh only one can exist at a time”

“Uh, how is Kevin a prophet if Chuck is a prophet?” Sam wondered.

“I'm not sure what happened to Chuck, but, um…he must be dead” Sad….

“So, the next one comes off the bench if Kevin goes down?” Dean asked.

“Exactly. And they have no idea who they are, of course”

“Crowley” Sam voiced.

“Insurance. Boy, he's getting desperate” Dean shook his head.

“Explains all the weird phenomena. Lower-level demons nabbing heavy-duty cargo. The vessels of God's Word-boom” Sam listed.

“I get the feeling something's going on” Cas faced us. I just smiled lightly at him as Sam’s phone rang.

“Hello…Mrs. Tran? Well, where the hell have you…what?” he shot to his feet and slammed the phone shut. “Crowley's got Kevin” That’s all we needed to hightail it out of the motel and hit the road.

~~

We were on the side of the road waiting for Mrs. Tran but the wait was killing me. Sitting in this backseat with Cas was killing me….

Flashback

I don’t know how I ended up in front of the leviathan…I just did. All of this fighting…it was too much. Why was it all so hard? Just to make it back to a world of even more misery? Was any of it even worth it? Without my best friend?

I didn’t feel any pain when the monster grabbed me by the hair and flung me to the ground. I didn’t feel any pain when it peeled off some of my flesh. I didn’t feel anything when it lifted me by the throat to finish me off. I felt nothing.

What I did feel was my ass hitting the ground as Dean came to my rescue…again. I didn’t see how it happened…or even what happened. All I heard and saw was Dean yelling in my face. “What the hell are you doing! Do you really think this is how Mel wants you to go out?! By just giving yourself to them?” he yelled at me through all of the rushing wind coming from the portal. I lifted my head up to look at him and I have to say…in that moment in time…I hated him.

I lunged forward, tackling him down the hill and we both went rolling down, picking up dirt and leaves along the way. I could feel ever inch of my body getting even more beat and scratched up then it already was. I was getting ready to even reach for my knife to gut the stranger in front of me. I felt like I didn’t know who he was anymore…who I was anymore.

“Don’t you dare pretend like you know what she would want! You say that nobody gets left behind but you left her behind, Dean!” I cried out and tried to pin him down but he was much stronger and in a much more clearer state of mind than I was.

“Brittney, get a hold of yourself!” he pinned me but I wiggled my leg free, put it on his chest and kicked him back into a tree. I went to go at him again but Cas held me back.

“You promised we would bring her home! You said no one got left behind! We can’t leave her here! They will tear her apart!” I cried my eyes out as I fell to my knees.

I felt him kneel in front of me. “Brittney, listen to me. We will bring her home. I promise you that. But in order to bring her home we need to get ourselves home first. And how is Mel going to get home is you’re dead? Don’t tell me I have to worry about another suicide-head-case” I looked up at him and saw he was just as broken as I was…but he was still holding it together…for me. And I needed to do the same.

“Come on, we need to move fast. The portal’s closing” I said quickly and we all raced back to the top of the cliff.

When we got to the top I turned to see Cas stumble a bit so Dean stopped to help him up. I put both feet inside the portal and I could feel it wanting to just suck me in, back to Earth but I couldn’t leave Dean. I grabbed onto his hand as he took one step inside and still had one in Purgatory, reaching his hand out to Cas….

End Flashback

The rest is kind of a blur. Watching it all happen from inside the portal was like watching a movie on hyper speed, not being able to keep up with what’s going on. Next thing I knew Dean couldn’t hold onto Cas anymore and we both fly through without him. None of it made sense….

“I think we all need to talk…outside” I said, eying Cas and Dean. They both nodded, getting out of the car. I placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Be right back” I sighed and got out as well.

“What?” he asked us.

“Exactly. What?”

“What the hell happened? Back there. Purgatory. I told you I would get you out. We were there! It was like you just gave up. It's like you didn't believe we could do it. I mean, you kept saying that you didn't think it would work. Did you not trust me?” Dean snapped on him.

“Dean…” he tried.

“I did everything I could to get you out everything! I did not leave you” I could hear his voice crack. My eyes went up to him and I saw his eyes glaze over.

“So…you think this was your fault?” Cas asked him. He didn’t reply. I could see his eyes trying not to glance over at me. He did think it was his fault….

“You can do this, can't you? You can get him back?” a frantic Mrs. Tran walked ran over to us.

“How did Crowley find you?” Sam asked, getting out of the car.

“Oh I hired a witch and she ratted us out” she said simply.

“A witch? Why'd you hire a witch?” Dean complained.

“To make demon bombs, of course! These are Kevin's notes”

“You have any idea where Crowley took him?” I asked.

“No. But, uh…this guy might” she unlocked her trunk to show us the demon she had captive.

“Oh…lets talk” Dean said getting out the knife.

~~~

We got to the place that the demon told us: Atlantic, Iowa, inside an old factory building and then we killed the demon and cuffed Mrs. Tran to the steering wheel so she wouldn’t go anywhere and get hurt…or ruin the plan. When we got inside, Dean and Cas decided to go one way together and Sam and I went the other way.

“So will Dean be okay? He seems to be taking Cas’ reappearance the hardest” Sam commented.

I shrugged. “He blames himself” I muttered more to myself.

“For what? For leaving him behind? There was nothing he could’ve done”

“He doesn’t seem to think so…and I think it’s partially my fault”

“Why?”

“When we were in Purgatory…I blamed him because he was the one who made the choice to leave Mel behind”

“I thought you said you couldn’t find her though…”

“I did…and it’s true partially”

“I don’t follow”

“Mel’s spirit is floating around Purgatory without her body and to actually find her body and a way to reconnect her spirit with her body could’ve taken years in there…it was time we didn’t have…time we needed to use to get out alive. I couldn’t see that at first because all I wanted was to bring Mel back with us. Dean was looking out for all of us. I was really messed up, Sammy. I was someone…I never thought it was possible for me to be…and he was there to pull me out”

He stared at me sadly and then stopped in his tracks to pull me into a hug. I melted into it and just felt so secure and so safe. “Don’t ever leave me ever again” he whispered into my ear.

I felt my heart stop as my eyes popped. But I couldn’t even enjoy the moment because we were interrupted by friggin demons talking beneath us. I thought quickly on my feet and walked out onto the beam, balancing everything I had in me. I sat down on it and then gave Sam a thumbs up. He walked down the stairs to the demons.

“Winchester” a demon growled.

“Looks like you guys got me” Sam shrugged.

As they went to attack I hung upside down and grinned as they stopped in their tracks. “Surprise!” I sang and lit the flare on fire, shutting my eyes tight.

When I opened them again I saw their shadows got burnt to the wall. I went to drop to the ground but Sam was right under me and caught me in his arms. It was where I needed to be….

Dean’s POV

“We're very near Kevin” Cas informed me as we cautiously walked throughout the factory. “Cas…I need to ask…were you…”

“Dean. Melissa is gone. You need to let go”

I stopped in my tracks. Did he just tell me to let go…?

I heard footsteps from behind so I whipped out the knife and got ready to stab the demon who was creeping up on us but he sent me flying back into some chains that were hanging from the ceiling. I watched Cas do his weird angel-thing, putting a hand on the demon’s head and sending it packing…but what used to be a simple task looked like it almost took him out too.

I had to help him get his balance back. “What the hell's going on? You're not all the way back, are you?”

He just gave me a hard, determined look. “We need to keep moving” is all he said.

I couldn’t argue because he was right. We came to a door and I tried to pick it. “It’s not working” I sighed, getting back up to his level. “Dean, I'm going in” he told me.

“Cas, no. You're not strong enough” I reminded him.

There was no stopping him though…he was already gone. I tried banging on the door and yelling out to him to let me in but nothing was happening. Then I saw a bright light coming out from under the door and I knew something was going down if he was using that much energy. I backed up a few steps and then barged down the door, seeing Cas on the floor, Kevin holding only a piece of the tablet and Crowley was gone….

~~

Cas and I were loading up the trunk of the Impala while Sam and Brit were waiting with Kevin and his mom for the police to come pick up the other victims. “That was a bonehead move back there. You could have gotten yourself killed. Why didn't you wait for me?” I asked him.

“Well, I didn't get killed. And it worked”

“And if it didn't?”

“It would have been my problem”

“Well, that's not the way I see it” I shook my head.

“Everything isn't your responsibility, Dean. Getting me out of Purgatory wasn't your responsibility”

“You didn't get out. So whose fault was it?”

“It's not about fault. It's about will. Dean, do you really not remember?” I snorted.

“I lived it, Cas. Okay, I know what happened”

“No. No, you think you know. You remembered it the way you needed to”

“Look, I don't need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed Melissa and like I've failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don't need it!” I choked up.

“Dean. Just look at it. Really look at it” he touched a finger to my head….

Flashback

I looked back to see Brit halfway through the portal and then I lifted Cas back to his feet to help drag him through. “Cas! Come on! I got you, just hold on!” I grunted at him.

“Dean!”

“Hold on!”

“Dean!” And then…he grabbed my hands and uncurled my fingers so I would let go of him. “Go!” he yelled at me. I got sucked into the portal, leaving one of my best friends behind….

End Flashback

Cas’ POV

“See, it wasn't that I was weak. I was stronger than you. I pulled away. Nothing you could have done would have saved me, because I didn't want to be saved” I admitted to him.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he shook his head at me, thinking I was crazy.

“It's where I belonged. I needed to do penance. After the things I did on Earth and in Heaven, I didn't deserve to be out. And I saw that clearly when I was there. I…I planned to stay all along. I just didn't know how to tell you. You can't save everyone, my friend…though, you try”

“So that’s also why you’re telling me to forget Melissa…but…I…I can’t just…” I saw his eyes become glazed and he was trying not to let his tears fall.

“Hey. Everything okay?” Sam asked as him and Brittney walked over to us. Yeah. Just…setting a few things straight” I spoke.

“Well…good. Garth is going to lay low with the Tra…” Sam began to say but abruptly I wasn’t with them anymore.

I was standing in an all white room, in front of a woman in a suit who was sitting behind a desk. “Hello, Castiel”

“Where am I?” I demanded.

“You don't know? You're home, Castiel” I squinted around and narrowed my eyes at her.

“Heaven? I've never been here before”

“Not many have. My name is Naomi. We rescued you”

“Purgatory” I assumed.

“An incursion of angels, which cost us many lives. Consider these chats your repayment”

“I don't understand”

“Tell me about Sam, Brittney and Dean”

“The Prophet is being kept safe. The tablet has split in two and the Winchesters are trying to recover the missing piece. Why am I telling you any of this?”

“It's not your concern. Help the Winchesters and Hails, come when they call. You will report in to me regularly, and you will never remember having done so”

“No. I won't do that”

“Now, as you were. They won't even notice you were gone. Oh and Castiel? You will not mention a word to Dean about your theory on how to bring Melissa back to Earth. She’s where she belongs. It needs to stay this way. Too much interference has already occurred with nature. But if he does happen to find a way to bring her back…which is very unlikely…you are to try to discourage him but still help him. We can’t risk being found out”

My eyes widened. “How do you know…and found out about what…”

~

“...track down the other piece. You're with us on this one, right, Cas? Cas, you okay?” Sam was trying to get through to me. I suddenly felt lightheaded…which was an odd feeling for me.

“Yes. I'm…I'm fine. And, yes, I'm with you…if that's all right”

I looked at Brittney first and then Dean. They both nodded so I walked away, over to the car. I need to tell Dean about what I know about Melissa’s condition…don’t I? I need to tell someone…shouldn’t I? Why didn’t I tell him…?