Breathe Life Into Me

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Brit

It's been really rough on all of us lately and I know I haven't been such a ray of sunshine so I decided it was time for some change. If I was trying to get my old Mel back I was gonna have to tap into my old self as well. I had a full tray of breakfast favorites and knocked first before letting myself into Mel's room.

"Hey, Sleeping B-" I started but was interrupted by her convulsing reaction to the vomit that came thrashing out of her mouth and landed violently into the waste basket she held.

I quickly shut the door, set her food down and rushed to her side. I rubbed her back and felt her face which was pale white and burning like fire. She didn't need breakfast favorites, she needed an ice bath and hot soup.

When she finished I took the basket and went into the bathroom to wash it out for her. Then I sprayed some perfume around the room and got on the bed beside her. She nustled back into her pillow. I remembered the last time she was this sick and I even almost made a joke about it...but then I remembered she didn't even remember Jesse...so I bit my tongue.

"Sorry I can't eat your breakfast..." She coughed.

"Oh dont worry about it..do you want anything else?"

"Honestly I don't even think I'll be able to hold down anything"

"Mel...you can't just...this isn't good..." I tried but wasn't even sure of what to say.

"Well, I'm not good, Brittney. And I'm not going to be good until we can start moving again. Until Sam and I can start the third trial" she attempted to sit up but she struggled with it.

"Mel, I wouldn't even let you start a motorcycle, let alone go to the next trial"

"I know how to drive a motorcycle? Did I have a death wish?" she made a face but I bypassed the comment.

"Point is: we're on the rails with this thing and the only way out of it is through it. I know. And we all really wanna slam the door on all those sons of bitches. But you gotta let me and Dean take care of you. Right now he thinks you're in the clear and that Sam is the only one messed up but it's not true. You gotta let us help you get your strength back"

"Brittney...this isn't just some cold that can be treated. These trials or whatever are doing something to me that I cant even explain. They're changing me and I'm not sure if it's for the worse or for better..." I stayed silent.

But then there was a knock at the door. "Melissa? Brit?" It was Dean. "We got an email from Kevin. We're waiting for you two to open it..."

"One second!" Mel called back suddenly on her feet and whirling around the room grabbing things and putting them on to make her look more presentable.

I haven't seen her move that fast in weeks. When she was done she looked like a completely different person. She looked somewhat healthy even. Her face wasn't pale, wrinkles were gone, hair was in place, breath smelt fresh. She took a deep breath and then grinned when she opened the door.

"Let's go see what he said" she smiled and sauntered away.

Dean looked to me, confused. I shrugged and sighed. "You heard her" I said forcing a smile. She's been doing this for him, faking her health. She didn't want him to worry about her like he was worrying about Sam. She felt Sam needed his brothers undivided attention because of all the tension she's been "causing". What scared me most was the fact that it was a typical move Melissa Stern would make and pull off beautifully. It scared me because...I couldn't afford hope anymore. It was just too draining.

We walked down and over to Sam who didn't look any better than Mel did five minutes ago. He sucked at hiding it so I was having a little trouble looking at him and not want to throw up. This whole thing made mefeel sick to my stomach.

I sat beside him, adjusted he blanket that he had around his shoulders and I moved my chair closer so I could lean Ito him. I was afraid I would break him so I didn't put all my weight into it but then he wrapped an arm around me to pull me closer. I was kind of in an awkward position but I just let myself relax against his shoulder and he started the video we got from Kevin.

His face popped up. "Sam, Dean...Melissa, Brittney...I've set up this message with some software on a remote server so it'd send itself to you if I didn't reset it with a command once a week. Which means I didn't reset it this week. And there's only one reason I wouldn't. Which means if you're watching this, then I...then I'm dead. I'm dead, you bastards! So screw you, screw God and everybody in between" I felt my throat close up as none of us moved an inch let alone breathe.

He took a breath. "Crowley must've gotten to me. And the one thing I know is that I won't break this time. Not sure how I know, but...I do. I've been uploading all my notes, the translations, I'm sending you the links so you can get all of it. You guys are gonna have to try to figure out the rest. I'm sorry" His eyes started to well up. "I know it was my job, but...but I couldn't...I'm sorry"

The screen went black after that. The room was incredibly silent as we tried to process what we just watched, considering if it was real or not. Kevin couldn't be dead....

I jumped when Dean swiped at a stack of books, knocking them into the wall and on the floor. "Damn it" he grunted and then stalked out of the room. We all looked at each other.

"Kevin's not dead" Mel suddenly spoke.

"How do you know?" Sam asked sadly.

"I don't know...you guys said I used to always getting these weird feelings right? Well I don't feel like Kevin is dead...not yet" With that she walked away too. I looked up at Sam who was showing a mix of concern, helplessness, guilt and sickness.

Melissa

I went looking for Dean. In the time I've known him he seems like the type to beat himself up about this kind of thing. I could hear some thumps and thrashing coming from one of the rooms. I recognized the door to be the one leading into his room. I've never been in his room before.

I took a deep breath and turned the knob, pushing the door open a little. I looked inside to see papers everywhere, his dresser was now crooked, a chair was flipped upside down and there was now a crack in the wall where the chair landed. He was pacing.

"Dean...?"

He didn't hear me. It seemed like he was muttering something to himself...cursing at himself. I should probably just leave him be...let him work out his thoughts.... I found myself walking inside though. Why did I care so much? I still don't remember anything about him. I mean...ever since that kiss...I guess there are bits and pieces I remember about the four of us but it's never clear enough to really tell what's going on. And when it comes to Dean...I want to remember, I really do...and whenever I try to deny the past...deny him...then I get this weird pain in my chest.

I just stood there for a while until he finally calmed down and he out his phone to start calling some people. I wasn't sure if he knew about my presence in the room but I did take note of the fact that he seems to always calm down a little whenever he's around me. At first I thought it was weird...he always found comfort in being around me...but I guess...it's actually kind of sweet...

"Garth is still MIA and there are no signs of new prophet activations. No lead, no tablet, no prophet. Squat"

It took me a second to realize he was talking to me. So he did know I was here. I wasn't sure what to say though. I didn't know Kevin well either so it's not like I really felt sad...it's a horrible thing to say but it doesn't even feel like he's dead anyway.

"We should've moved him here" he muttered, shaking his head. He was really blaming himself for this? But why...it's not like he can tell the future. He couldn't have seen this coming.

He took a breath before looking up at me for the first time. "We should get cracking on Kevin's code..." He started and went to walk passed me but I reached out and grabbed his hand.

I could sense him eyeing me but I couldn't form words in my head. I wasn't sure what this feeling was but I didn't like it. It was uncomfortable and awkward and it made me sweat...but it only happened when I was around him.

"I uhh...I'm sorry...I don't know what to say..." I murmured and put my arm back at my side.

I forced myself to look up at him and he just smiled at me. It was a sad smile...but it was still a hopeful smile. How could he have so much hope at a time like this? Then he cupped my cheek and kissed my forehead carefully before leading me out the door. He was holding back. He was trying so hard to just leave me alone and let nature take it's coarse. But what did I have to give back to him for his patience? Absolutely nothing. I had a few questions: why me? Why fall in love with me the first time? Why waste your time now? Why be so persistent? I wasn't that special....

Brit

"There it is again" I pointed out to Sam.

He nodded "Every time..." He murmured.

"Hmm?" Dean voiced as him and. Mel came walking back over to us.

"This symbol. I know it. Now, Kevin has it down as, as sort of like a signature, for the Scribe of God. It appears every time Metatron makes one of his, like, editor's notes" I explained.

"Okay...?"

"But I think I've seen it before. I mean, it was a long time ago, it was one of my, uh, humanities courses at Stanford" Sam added.

"They taught Word of God at Stanford?"

"You went to Stanford?" Mel voiced. We all looked at her.

"Sorry...I’ll just go stand in the corner..." She took a few steps back away from us like we were strangers. But so was she.

"It was an overview of Native American art. I think it's a petroglyph" Sam continued. "A petro-what-now?" Dean asked.

"This one belonged to a tiny tribe in Colorado, more of a'l clan, really. It says here they held on to their scrap of mountains when all the other tribes fell to the white men" I showed them the page. "So this glyph was a territorial marker. Closest translation: "messenger of God"...Messenger of God...Messenger of God"

It seemed like he was just talking to himself now. He suddenly shot to his feet. "We have to go there!"

"On that hunch? You can barely function" Dean mentioned.

"Dean, we..." Sam started but Mel shot him a look which made him back peddle. "I'm only gonna get worse. I mean, until we get back to the real job, until we find the third trial..."

Mel stepped forward. "We're out of prophets right now and we're not gonna be able to figure out what Kevin couldn't. I think we go to this messenger of God who wrote it in the first place" she some clearly and then shrugged.

Dean met his eyes fixated on her. "And you think this Metatron is hiding out in the mountains with a bunch of Indians..."

"Yeah! Yeah, I do" Sam said, excited about the thought of getting a lead. "You're not...you're not really supposed to say Indians, it's..." he started to explain.

"Let it go, babe. We should get going" I suggested and I couldn't help but smile a little. It was something I loved about Sam-he loved knowledge. He loved knowing things and random facts that actually came in handy sometimes. He was a dork. But I loved it.

Cas

Santa Fe, Bangor, Lincoln, Tucson, Tallahassee again. It was of most importance to cover my tracks and I was doing very well-arriving at every Biggerson’s in the country at least two or three times. They were getting closer though. Sooner or later they will....

“You have to stop” a voice muttered in my ear.

I turned, seeing I was in Santa Fe again. But unlike a few hours ago where everyone was talkative and incredibly amicable all the human beings that occupied the establishment had been murdered.

“They said you have to stop” I heard again. I looked down to see Kara laying on the tiled floor with her eyes burned out of her sockets. She was a really nice waitress and I suddenly felt remorse. “They said you have to stop” she repeated. I bent down to touch her forehead. She was too far gone...and this spell...it was unlike anything else I’ve ever.... “Just stop... you have to stop...”

“No...no...” I murmured to myself in disbelief. “You have to stop. They said you have to stop” she continued to cry. I reached out to at least try and heal her...I had to try...it would be the only good I’ve done lately....

Suddenly I was grabbed from behind with a blade pressed up against my throat. I managed to turn my neck to see Ion, Shear and Naomi. “You have to stop. You have to stop. They said you...”

But before Kara could finish her cry her head twisted, breaking her neck. “Can't hear myself think” Naomi sighed. I snapped my eyes at her angrily. “We were supposed to be their shepherds, not their murderers”

“Not always, angel. There was that day, back in Egypt, not so long ago, where we slew every first-born infant whose door wasn't splashed with lamb's blood. And that was just PR”

“Well, I wasn't there"

“Oh, you were there. You just don't remember it” she spoke simply. I tried to process her words...process it all...was it really possible...?

“How many times have you torn into my head and washed it clean?”

“Frankly? Too damn many” she replied as she snapped her fingers making a chair slide over to us. She sat down.

“You're the famous spanner in the works. Honestly, I think you came off the line with a crack in your chassis. You have never done what you were told. Not completely. You don't even die right, do you? Where is the angel tablet, Castiel?” she demanded.

I felt like laughing at her. “In the words of good friends: bite me...bitch” I feel if Melissa was here and remembered who I was...she would be proud.

“Oh, we'll bite. Don't worry” Then she looked to her companions.

“Go. Search all these Biggerson's. He must have hidden it along the way” she ordered. They won’t find it...they can’t find it...the whole world will be at stake....

Brit

"Do you hear that?" Mel asked as we walked into the hotel and Dean was checking us in.

"Hear what?" I eyed her as she stumbled first and then stopped walking all of a sudden. She stood pin straight but had one hand on the wall to keep her balance while her other hand went to her head as if in pain.

"Hey, hey...look at me" I put her face between my hands.

"Which...one of you?" she spoke like she was out of breath.

"Mel, I have..."

"Don't tell Dean. You promised, Brit" I was vulnerable. I knew what I should've done...but I didn't. "I'm okay now" She re-composed herself.

"You girls ready? I got the room" Dean came over to us with Sam and Me smiled u at him. "

Yep. Let's go" she nodded and stood at deans side, waiting to follow his lead. It was weird. She was trying so hard...but nothing was working. Honestly, I think the only thing that has still kept her around is Dean...but I'm not really surprised.

"Regular tourist mecca we got here. We're the only guests in this whole place. Last entry in the registry was in '06" Dean commented as he tossed his bag onto a bed.

"Hey, you remember when uh...when Dad took us to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, on that pack-mule ride?" Sam mentioned.

"The what?"

"And you're, uh...your mule kept farting, just letting go, like, gale force?" Sam chuckled. "Dude, you were like, four years old. I barely remember that"

"You rode a farty donkey" He was full on laughing now. I gave him a weird look. He was definitely losing it....

But then I noticed Mel still holding her bag and eyeing both beds. I stood next to her. "Whats wrong?"

"Umm what bed should I..." she gestured down to her bag and I realized she doesn't remember ever sharing a bed with Dean.

I sighed internally and picked up Sam’s stuff to move it to where Dean dropped his own stuff. They both gave me a look but I just gestured to Mel's stuff as I took it into my hands and put it on the bed where my stuff was.

"Okay. Uh, I'm gonna go check out the Two Rivers Tribal Museum and Trading Post" Dean established.

"Yeah. Yeah! I'm gonna...I'm gonna, uhh follow the hotel manager, D-Dr. Scowley-scowl. He's like a villain from Scooby-Doo" Sam laughed and giggled like he was on laughing gas. Dean had to hold him up.

"No, hey, uh, little big man? You should get some rest"

"Yeah, I can do that too"

And with that he collapsed back on the bed. Deans eyes went to Mel. "What about you? You doing okay?"

"Me? Yea, I'm doing great!" she lied through her teeth. But it seemed like he believed her.

“Okay then...Mr. Loops will hang back and we’ll go check it out...” Dean headed for the door and Mel went to follow but she stumbled forward, suddenly dizzy.

I wrapped an arm around her and helped her stand. “Maybe you should hang back for this one...” I tried to suggest. She just nodded. I guided her to the bed and sat her down. “You sure you’ll be okay?” I asked.

“You need to stop worrying so much, B” she breathed out.

My eyes widened. “What did you call me?” I eyed her crazily.

“Umm I...wh-...I don’t...”

“Hey, you coming?” Dean called to me. I hesitated at first. Was this a sign? The last time she called me that...it’s been years....

“Brittney” Dean scolded.

“Stay here, okay? Don’t leave the room” I murmured to her quickly and hurried out the door. “Mel’s not...” “No” was all I said. I had to focus. I couldn’t get my hopes up over one small slip...something as trivial as her calling me by my nickname from when we were kids...I couldn’t let it get to me...not yet.