Breathe Life Into Me

Mel

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was so hot my sweat started drenching the sheets as I tossed and turned. These images kept popping up in my head of some kind of animal...or monster...snarling it's teeth at me and clawing out, trying to tear me to pieces. I saw Dean too. He was trying so hard to reach me but no matter how hard he ran he never got closer to rescuing me. Rescue me...from what...? I felt this force pulling at invisible strings that were attached to my body. But I promised Brit I would stay here.

I sat up when I heard a crash and I saw Sam had ran right into the nightstand, knocking a lamp off. He flew open the door and staggered out into the hallway. "Sam..." I choked out, my throat dry like the desert. You have to fight it, Sam!

I forced myself to my feet and followed him. I held onto the wall as I kept pushing forward but the further I walked the louder this ringing sound got. My throat closed up, my clothes were drenched in sweat, my eyesight was going in and out, and at first I thought I was having an anxiety attack...an allergic reaction...? Nothing seemed describable for what I was feeling. Nothing normal anyway. Sam! I tried to yell but couldn't. I watched a man step out of the elevator and Sam hid in a dip in the walls so I tried to straighten my posture and turn away as I just leaned on the wall, waiting...losing oxygen...burning my skin off....

I looked over my shoulder and saw Sam moving again. I tried to catch up but my legs felt like wooden planks weighing me down. I followed him around the corner and he opened a box that the man had been holding before. He pulled out a few of the books. Something sparked in his head when he held the books and I tried to pull him to his feet but he was like dead weight. His size didn't help any either. So I took out my cell phone and his the speed dial.

"Mel...?"

"Brit...I...Sam...we can't..." I forced out the words so hopefully she would get the jist.

"I'm on my way. Stay on the phone with me" was all she said.

I could hear her running as I placed the phone between my shoulder and my ear and I started dragging Sam down the hallway and back to the room. How could she always be there...how could she possibly be so...

"Mel...you with me...you still there?"

I wanted to tell her I was still here...and that I'll always be here...but the more I thought about it, it seemed like she was the one who would always be there...and I will always need her.... "Mel...Melissa!"

~

It was darker than night. There was no source of light at all and I didn't have many senses helping me figure out what was going on. I knew I was falling but it was’nt a fast, skydiving kind of fall. It was more like I was sinking in quicksand: slow and annoying. I felt myself drifting away from something but I wasn't sure what it was. I wasn't sure if I was coming or going. Was I getting closer or farther away?

Suddenly I started passing pictures...or they were passing me...and the pictures turned into silent movies. At first the faces of the people were blurred out, it was like I was peering through a window that was steaming up. But then...I realized the people in the movies were of me, Brittney, Sam and Dean. Were these my memories? They made me feel...scared...anxious...happy...excited...loved.... Was this what my life was before I lost my memory? Did I really live through all of his? Did I really love these guys...this much? It never seemed possible to me. If I couldn't remember...how could I care? How could I feel? But seeing it all play out like this...maybe I didn't need to remember. Maybe just knowing...should be good enough for me.

I started to notice that the pictures were speeding up and becoming less and less. And as I kept falling my lungs started to burn and the air became dense. I saw this tiny spec up ahead that I recognized to be a light as it got bigger and bigger and soon enveloped my whole body. I felt a hand grip my shirt...another landed on my shoulder....

I gasped for air as my survival instincts kicked in and I pushed against whatever was holding me down. "Hey, hey, it's me!" A voice rang in my ears. I spun my head quickly and Brittney was there, holding my face in her hands, trying to calm me down. And honestly, knowing she was there made me feel calm.

I felt pins and needles all over my body as she helped me out of the tub that was filled with ice. I turned and hooked onto her shoulders but before I could even attempt to step out Dean came walking in. He wrapped a towel around me, then picked me up and set me back down on the tiled floor.

"Are you okay?" He looked at me so seriously and with so much concern.

"I think so...what happened...?"

"We found you on the floor, passed out with Sam practically crushing your body on the floor and your temperature was a 107. We had to find a way to cool you down” he informed me.

I just nodded as I kept shivering. Then, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and guided me out of the bathroom where I saw Sam in dry clothes but with wet skin and hair. I turned back to see if Brit was close behind. She was. I suddenly felt...safer than I’ve felt in a very long time.

But when Dean left my side I got this feeling I couldnt describe...a feeling of emptiness. Was I always this dependent on them? Or was it just him? But Brit was quickly at my side again, guiding me over to the bed where she pulled out some new clothes for me. I noticed both of the guys turned around while while Brit was helping me dress and they continued to hiss and argue with one another.

“He's here, Dean. Metatron is here, I know it, I can hear him. All I know is that I'm connected to it somehow” He looked at me. “We both are”

I didn’t want to believe his words...but I knew he was right. “What, like ya got a link to him, like a prophet?” Dean scrutinized but kept his eyes on Sam.

“I don't know! I just know he's here. Metatron is here”

“Okay...here where?” Brit asked.

“We can show you. The manager was delivering books to him"

“Books?"

“Books. Hardcovers, paperbacks, novels — books"

“Stories” Brit sighed as she and Dean exchanged a look.

Cas

“I've been all over them. It's not there” Ion spoke.

I heaved once and coughed out some of my blood due to the fact that my ribs were now broken and slowly healing. Along with my bruised cheek bone and black eye I wasnt feeling too good.

“Why? Why are you doing this? Let us put the tablet back where it should be” Naomi questioned.

“I need to protect it” I breathed carefully.

“From the angels?"

“From all of us” I stayed firm. This was the right thing to do...I needed to do something right for once. I was far from redemption but this had to be close to it.

“I'm just going to have to pull you apart, aren't I?”

I braced myself for her next attack but then jumped in my seat at the sound of a gun shot. Suddenly Shear fell to the ground, dead and after a second shot Ion had become wounded in his arm and now his grace was leaking out. I craned my neck to see Crowley aiming the gun.

“Naomi, darling. Miss me?” he smiled and then gestured to his new weapon.

“Do you like it? I had my R&D people melt down one of your angel blades and cast it into bullets. Seems to do the trick"

“How dare you"

“I'm the daringest devil you've ever met, love” Naomi began to emit her angel essence, preparing to attack the Hell King but he didnt flinch.

“We've been here before, haven't we? Let's see who blinks first” he smirked and then fired the gun but Naomi was gone and there was now a bullet hole in the wall. Crowley shrugged and then paced in front of me. “Hi, Cas” How did he find me? There’s no way....

My eyes went to Ion. Betrayed...again... “That's right, Cas. I got me an angel on the payroll. It's that kinda universe, these days” Then he fired the gun at me. I groaned out in real pain as the angle bullet plunged right into my vessel. I felt myself start to black out. “Now grab him and follow me...”

~

The blood wouldnt stop. I was drenched in my own red liquid and it wasnt stopping. “Just wanted to take a moment away from the main action to chat with my old business partner...” Crowley’s voice was distant as he sat three feet in front of me with only an office desk separating us. “I assume you won't die just yet. Takes a painful long time to bleed out from the gut"

“You can do whatever you want, Crowley. I will never tell you where I buried the tablet” I grunted.

“I know, Cas. I know. Luckily, I don't believe you'll have to. I've been getting regular updates from my expensive friend here. Naomi should have caught you out of the gate, seeing as lately she's been knuckles-deep in that melon of yours. She thinks that your touching the tablet has broken her spell over you, hmm?” He walked over to me. “The tablets weren't meant for the angels, and they weren't meant for you"

"She's got a lot on her plate, so you can't fault her for missing it” he continued. “I was thinking to myself, "self, if Cas got away from her by touching the tablet, why would he ever stop touching the tablet?" And then I thought to myself, "self...he hasn't stopped touching the tablet, now has he?"

I suddenly felt anxious and my stomach flipped uncomfortably...figuratively speaking of course. I had no time to react though. He plunged his hand into my abdomen and reached for the tablet, gripping it tight and pulling it out of my body. Now I really felt faint...and like I was dying...too bad it wasnt possible...not for me anyway. Death just wasnt in the cards for me...that wouldve been too easy.

Mel

Dean handed me a sweatshirt and I realized it was because my whole body was shaking and covered in goose-bumps. When I put it on I was able to tell right away that it was his. Not only did it have his smell but there was something inside me...something tugging at my heart strings and making my chest constrict...something that was trying to tell me...remind me...that this was a familiar feeling I had...this was my favorite sweatshirt....

“We should be taking you both to the ER” Brit commented as she wrapped an arm around me to keep me standing upright while we trailed behind Dean and Sam down the hallway.

“You and I both know they won’t be able to do anything for us...” I muttered back to her.

She held onto me tighter and I wanted to tell her that her nails were digging into my skin but with the determined look on her face...and the safe feeling I got...I just couldnt.

“You know, I've been remembering things, little things, so clearly...” Sam mentioned.

“What, donkey rides?” Dean quipped lightly.

“You used to read to me when I was little, I...I mean, really little, from that old Classics Illustrated comic book. You remember that?”

“No"

“Knights of the Round Table. Had all of King Arthur's knights, and they were all on the quest for the Holy Grail. And I remember looking at this picture of Sir Galahad, and he was kneeling, and light streaming over his face, and...I remember thinking, I could never go on a quest like that. Because I'm not clean. I mean, I was just a little kid. You think...maybe I knew? I mean, deep down, that I had...demon blood in me, and about the evil of it, and that I'm wasn't pure?”

He was rambling now but I don’t think he realized it and Dean was suddenly very serious. “Sam, it's not your fault"

“It doesn't matter anymore. Because these trials...they're purifying me” He sounded relieved.

“What about you? Remember anything like that?” Brittney murmured to me.

I looked down at her to see she was avoiding my eye contact afraid of my answer but also still curious about my slip up before which I was still confused about. Should I tell her that recently everything has been coming in snip-its? Or would that be too much hope to give her? I can’t bare the thought of disappointing her...of all people...ever again....

“We’re here” was all I said to her as we arrived at the room but the box of books were now gone.

Dean pushed open the door and we all walked in slowly and very cautiously. The place was filled with thousands of books scattered all over the place. I stubbed my toe on a really thick one but then jumped at the sound of a gun cocking...a rifle I think....

“Who ‘re you?” a voice demanded.

He didn’t look at all threatening. He seemed like an average crazy old man who collected his own personal library. But coming into actual contact with him...it suddenly made me feel powerful and week all at the same time. I could feel beads of sweat sliding down my face and I continued shaking.

“Metatron? This is Metatron?” Dean asked. “This is Metatron?” He continued repeating and then his eyes went to us. I couldn’t even bring myself to shrug, especially when the old man took me by surprise by vanishing from his spot and reappearing right behind us.

“Sit down” he ordered. We all obeyed.

The ringing got louder as he got closer. I could barely hear him when he spoke. All of their voices suddenly became static. “Who sen-...-ou?”

“We came on...own. W-... Winchesters”

“Dean...Sa-...B-...Meli-...”

“Work....Michael? Lucifer?” Did he just ask us if we worked for Michael or Lucifer?

“What kind...angle are you...” Brittney’s voice was faint.

“The freaking Win...Stern...Ha-...”

I could hear the vibration coming from Sam’s throat and I knew he was yelling but I still couldn’t hear him clearly. I was exhausting myself straining to just hear a complete sentence. I had to focus though. Stay focused...stay focused...stay focused....

“Melissa?” I heard her clearly.

It was in slow motion...everything was kind of in slow motion now...but I still heard her. It was fluid and soft with the ringing still in the background but it was still better. I just nodded at her.

“You really don’t know any of this?” Dean asked him, unsure as to why he wouldn’t be informed about any other top dog angles being dead.

“I've been very careful"

“Hey, can you...turn that down?!” Sam was still yelling and still straining to comprehend anything.

“Turn what...oh. You're resonating”

“Resonating? What do you mean, resonating?” Brittney demanded.

“You've undertaken the trials” His eyes met mine. “You both have? You're trying to pull one of the great levers, aren't you? You're pretty far along, too. You get that far along, you start resonating with the Word. Or with its source on the material plane. With me...but you seem to be taking it better...handling it...like a pro almost...like one of us...” One of us? Does he mean angles? From what they’ve told me...that doesnt sound like such a good thing....

“She’s always been an overachiever” Brittney quipped lightly.

“You said you were being careful. Careful how?” I moved the conversation along.

“I'm not one of them. I'm not an archangel. Really more run-of-the-mill. I worked in the secretarial pool before God chose me to take down the Word. Anyway, he...seemed very worried about his work, what would happen to it when he left, so he had me write down instructions. Then, he was gone. After that, the archangels took over. And they cried, and they wailed. They wanted their father back. I mean, we all did. But then...they started to scheme. The archangels decided if they couldn't have Dad, they'd take over the universe themselves. But they couldn't do anything that big without the Word of God. So I began to realize, maybe they would realize... they needed me” He shrugged.

“So you get a ruffle in your feathers and just decide to disappear? Go stick your head in the sand, forever?” Brit snapped. I had to kind of hold her back from jumping the guy.

“You have no idea what's been going on out there” Dean voiced even louder.

“Nope. That's the whole point”

“So you have been holed up here, or in a wigwam, or before that in some cave, listening to stories, reading books?” he hissed.

Metatron started to grin. “And it was something to watch. What you brought to His Earth, all the mayhem, the murder. Just the raw, wild invention of God's naked apes...it was mind-blowing. But really...really, it was your storytelling. That is the true flower of free will. At least as you've mastered it so far. When you create stories you become gods of tiny, intricate dimensions unto themselves. So many worlds! I have read...as much as it's possible for an angel to read, and I haven't caught up...”

I could hear Sam yelling at Metatron to pull the trigger on us...calling him a coward...Dean and Brit were trying to calm him down while I just sat there...listening...suddenly feeling frustrated and angry. I wasn’t sure if these random feelings were a part of my past trying to resurface in my memory or because of the fact I was still in the presence of this bastard.

“All this time...” I found myself starting to talk, silencing everyone else. “All this time...you've been hiding here...reading about suffering...our suffering...humanity’s suffering...all this time you’ve been here, kicking back and just reading about the pain of others...and how much of it has been at the hands of your kind?!” I snapped, shooting to my feet.

I didn’t know where this sudden energy...this passion...came from. But I didn’t even realize Brit was holding me back with all the strength she had in her.

“You want a good story? Try Kevin Tran's story. He was just a kid. He was a good, straight-A kid, and then he got sucked in to all of this-this angel crap. He became a prophet, of the Word of God. Your prophet. Now, you should've been looking out for him, but no! Instead, you're here, holed up,reading books. He’s dead now. Because of you”

Did I really know Kevin that well? Were we close? Did I care about him like the others care about him and each other? I wasn’t too sure about any of it...but from the way I nearly jumped out of my skin to defend all of humanity...I guess it’s safe to assume that this is who I am: I save lives and I don’t just sit back, take orders and wait for something to happen. You can’t depend on anyone except yourself...and your family....

Cas

Now was my chance. Crowley was gone...I was alone with Ion...I had to take the opportunity. I’m sorry, brother. “How...far can this go?” I grunted at him as he paced around the room.

“Shut up” he spat back. I had to get personal...get him to doubt...

“Ion. How far can we let it all drop? This charge was left to us, it's our mission”

“Do you even know what the mission was? They've been in all our heads” He was angry. I understood that. Hell, I was angry too. But he was focused on just his anger and was misusing it for bad forgetting his work to do good.

“We aren't machines for them to program and reprogram. That wasn't what this was meant to be”

“Nothing matters” he shook his head and turned to look out the window. I quickly dug my fingers into the hole Crowley left in my stomach and I scratched out the bullet, holding it gently in my hands.

“You are so wrong, brother. It all matters" I stood to my feet.

“You soldiers, down in the garrison, at least they let you believe the lie. Upstairs, working for Naomi, working in intelligence, we had no option but to live in the dirt. She never reset me completely. I always knew too much, I had to...I had to do my job”

Now he was just making me angry and quite frankly annoyed. I didnt care for his sob story. There was no excuse for everything he’s done and everything he’s doing. “Ion” I spoke so he would turn to me. When he did I tackled him down. “Shut up” was all I said as I shoved the bullet into his pupil. He yelled out in pain but I ignored him with only one thing in mind: I was going to make all of this right...I had to....

Kevin

For the first time in a long time...I was able to just sit and eat...and feel relieved. We were so close...it was almost over...and I started to believe that I would make it.... Was that ignorant of me? Probably. Was it likely? Not exactly. But did it make me feel better knowing I was almost out? You bet your ass it did.

“You little prat. Having fun yet?” Crowley came storming in, barging the door off its hinges in the process. It slid across the floor and I couldnt help but smile as I bit down into my barbecue ribs, swallowed and sighed. Not even him could ruin the mood I was in.

“Screw you” I continued to smile.

“Am I seeing this?” He eyed me. “How did you figure it out?” He was referring to the fake Dean, Sam, Mel and Brit that he hired to do some digging on me.

“Well, it started when they forgot the secret knock. But really...it was the way they acted. I don't think on their best day Sam and Dean would go into town and get me a barbecue dinner, not when there are leftover burritos in the fridge and Mel can’t cook...” I gestured to all the food I had laid out across the table, plus the barbecue I conned them into buying for me. “And, Brittney and Sam were acting too cutsie...” I made a face.

“Aren't they always like that?” His question was genuine.

“Not since she got back from Purgatory. Where have you been these passed couple chapters?”

“Sorry. I’m not caught up with my love stories” He replied smugly. "So...my demons were too polite?” He narrowed his eyes.

I chuckled. “Yea”

“Well, I'll be a son of a whore.

“You know they’re are up to the third trial? That they're gonna shut the door on Hell?” I continued.

“I'm not worried, kid” He was definitely lying.

“You have no idea what's on this demon tablet. Right, the power you could have gotten with this, if you weren't running around like a chicken with his head cut off" I laughed.

“You think I can't make you tell?” he kept his voice low, attempting to seem calm, cool and collected but he was anything but.

“I know you can't. And you do too"

“You know what? I've already won. I have the angel tablet, you little smudge. And I got deals and plans up the jacksie”

He grabbed me by the throat, tossed me out of my chair and held me up against the wall. “And I don't...need...you!” He was crushing my vocal chords...restricting air access.... It wouldve been too easy though...to end so quickly...my life was just...too valuable. I’m the prophet after all.

Brit

“Is that it? Is he good?” Dean asked quickly.

“Give him a minute” Metatron replied and walked into the other room.

I watched how Sam and Mel were eying Kevin so intently so I followed Metatron with Dean right beside me. “How did you get past Crowley's angel-warding?” I demanded.

“I'm the Scribe of God. I erased it” he shrugged like it was nothing.

“But you saw, right? I mean...you're caught up on everything that's been going on. All the crap that your brethren's been doing to humanity all this time?” Dean wondered.

“I saved the boy, didn't I?"

“But are you in? With us, I mean”

My eyes flickered to him and in that second I saw him hopeful and doubtful at the same time. But I didn’t understand it. Since when are we so eager to trust an angle? Could he have that little faith in our team?

“You really intend on closing the doors of Hell?” Metatron asked.

“Seems like the thing to do, don't it?”

“It's your choice. And that's what this has all been about, the choices your kind make. But you're gonna have to weigh that choice. Ask yourself: what is it going to take to do this, and what will the world be like after it's done?”

Before I could think about it I heard Mel calling my name. We rushed back to the living room where Kevin was beginning to wake up. I breathed a sigh of relief and suddenly the tension in the room lessened.

“Kevin? Hey. I thought we lost you, kiddo” Dean commented.

“I'm good” he replied, sitting up as he pulled out the tablet.

“Second half of the tablet. And I got it. Third trial. I didn't tell Crowley” he breathed out fast.

“So what is it?” Mel asked quickly.

“To cure a demon” Metatron answered.

“Yeah...who are you?” Kevin asked before almost passing out again. There was no time. The faster we do this, the faster it’s over with.

~

“Cure a demon. Okay, ignoring the fact that I have no idea what that actually means, if we do this, you two get better, right? I mean, you stop trying to cough up a lung and bumping into furniture?” Dean looked over at Mel who was in the front passenger seat and his eyes went to Sam through the rear view mirror.

“We feel better, yeah...just having a direction to move in” Sam said.

“Well, good, cause where we're headed doesn't sound like a picnic”

“But we're heading somewhere” Mel voiced. “The end” I agreed.

“Guys, I think...I might...I don’t really know...”

“Complete sentences, Melissa” I reminded her. She took a breath and then opened her mouth to continue.

“Dean, stop!” she screamed, making him slam on the breaks so the car swerved and then skidded to a stop.

We all stared forward at the bloody Castiel laying on the pavement, injured, right in front of us. He needed to lean on the hood of the car to help him stay standing. “Cas?” Dean grunted as we all shot out of the car.

“A little help, here?” he grunted back and we all just looked at each other in shock. This whole thing was just a big mess....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay so the next chapter is the finale (finally!) and as we dive into the new season we will start to see and understand (hopefully) more of Brit's background and her past with Sam, Mel and mostly Dean. Brittney kind of becomes the main focus for most of the newer chapters. I figured it was time to let her shine a little. Serious character development is on the way. Stay tuned! ;p