Breathe Life Into Me

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I stood there…watching my best friend deteriorate in front of my very eyes. Her flesh was coming right off of her bones and her bones was turning to dust. She wasn’t making a sound…I’m not sure if she could. I saw panic in her eyes as she stared down at herself and then she looked up at me and it was as if I could read her mind: why are you just standing there? Help me! But I continued to just stand…and watch…as she withered away into absolutely nothing but ash…and when I finally found motor in my legs to lunge in her direction…it was too late….

“Melissa!” I shot up with sweat dripping off my forehead.

Sam came running in from the bathroom. “Brittney? What’s wrong?” he raced to my side.

I couldn’t even find the words to explain it to him…what I was feeling…what I was seeing…. He caressed my cheek with his hand…but then I realized it was because I had tears running down my cheeks and he was wiping them away for me. He stared into my eyes and just leaned his forehead against my own.

“I can’t take this anymore, Sammy…I need to know if she’s okay…these dreams are just…too much…what if they’re trying to tell me something…what if we’re too late…what if there’s no point anymore…”

He pulled away slightly. “You’ve been having these dreams a lot lately?” I just nodded. He gave me a sad look and then pulled me in to him so he could hold me. It felt so good to be in his arms again.

I went to move my eyes up so I could look at his face…but something at the window caught my eye. I saw Cas. In flesh and blood…and a dirty trench coat. He was just standing there on the other side on of the window, looking in at me. I blinked twice and then shot to my feet and raced to the door, swinging it open but before I could look around the corner, dean was standing there, blocking my way. He eyed me as I moved him to the side and looked around him…but saw no one else there. Why was this happening to me?

I looked up at him…hoping maybe he saw something too. “Are you two okay? You both look like you’ve seen…well, I was gonna say, ‘You look like you've seen a ghost’ but you'd probably be stoked….so…are you okay?” Sam wondered.

I shook myself out of my state of mind and just turned back around to walk over to my bag and pretend like I was looking for something, just to loosen some tension. “Yea…what's up?” Dean asked.

“Well, this kid went missing from a preschool”

“That sucks. And?”

“And at the same time he vanished, a surprise tornado hit, lasted maybe 20 seconds, then,…shazam! Back to perfect weather”

“Hmm. And they pooh-pooh climate change”

“Yeah”

“Well, similar wackiness has happened over the past few weeks in other places. Tulsa: a bus driver vanishes and a river gets overrun with frogs. New Mexico: a mailman disappears, the earth splits open”

“So are we thinking demons?” I suddenly voiced and sniffled a little. I didn’t notice I had tears in my eyes until my voice had cracked when I spoke. Cas…Mel….

“Yea…possibly…but I mean, this stuff was major. These folks have nothing in common, no religious affiliations, different hometowns, all ages. Why would demons want them?” Sam continued.

“Why do demons want anything?” I sighed, clenching the sheets, pushing the lump in my throat down.

I found it in me to straighten up and recompose myself so I could properly present myself without seeming like I would break. “So are we on this?” I asked them. They exchanged a look and then nodded.

Dean’s POV

We met with the camp counselor who had last seen the boy who went missing and she couldn’t give us much other than the basic demon possession information: she blacked out and ended up somewhere she couldn’t remember heading, the smell of sulfur surrounded her…but she was clean now so it was back to the drawing board.

Sam and Brit had fallen asleep about 45 minutes ago and I was starting to doze off while staring at the computer screen as old pictures of me and Mel flashed in front of me. I smiled a little….

Flashback

“Hey, Dean?” she voiced.

“Hmm” I grunted back, looking over the newspaper, trying to find new cases. I wish I had paid more attention to her…to her voice…and her features…to her little quirks….

“Take a picture with me?”

“What?” I laughed, shaking my head at her crazy request.

“Why?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions. Just do it”

She forced herself by my side and held a camera up, pointing it at us. “Sorry sweetheart but the only pictures I take are mug shots” I pulled her arm down.

“That’s very nice to hear. Sorry to break it to you though, you will take a picture with your girlfriend”

I still got chills whenever we labeled ourselves like that. It meant she was mine…and I never had to share her with anyone else…. She suddenly looked down at her lap.

“I…don’t want to leave this world one day knowing that I left nothing behind…and I know that’s the life of a hunter: you hunt, you get killed, you die and that’s it. But the least we can do…is make some memories along the way, right?”

I just stared down at her unsure of what to say…or how to comfort her. I wasn’t sure what had brought this on but she was obviously concerned…where’d she even get that damn camera? “I don’t even know if I remember how to smile for a picture” I ran a hand down my face, giving in to her.

She didn’t waste any time after that though. She jumped on me, wrapping an arm around my neck to pull me closer and she kissed my cheek hard, biting it a little.

“Am I interrupting?” a voice came up from behind.

We turned to see Cas standing there. “Awe, Cas! You ruined our picture!” she complained.

“Would you like me to leave and then re-enter?”

“How about you just leave?” I suggested.

Mel hit me. “Well now that you’re here. You might as well come on and get in on this”

“I don’t believe it’s possible to get inside and on top of something?”

“Would you just get your ass over here?” she laughed.

I was too occupied by just everything about Mel that I forgot to even look at the camera as she took the second picture.

End Flashback

I slammed the top shut and trudged over to the window, rubbing my face. It might be time to accept the fact that they aren’t coming back….

There was a flash of lightning and in front of me…was Cas. He was standing right there. Just like he was walking alongside the road on the way here covered in dirt, trench coat and all. But in the blink of an eye he was gone. I rushed over to the door and swung it open. He still wasn’t there.

“Dean? What's going on? Are you all right?” Sam asked, groggily as he sat up.

I shut the door. “I don't know. I just…saw something”

“Uh, you saw what?” he walked over to me.

“Cas” I muttered.

“Cas? Where?”

“Right there. And…and earlier, on the road. I feel like I'm seeing him”

“That's... not possible. I mean, you said it yourself. You guys made it out and he didn't, right?”

I hung my head and paced away from him. My eyes lingered on Brit’s knocked out body for a moment. “I tried so damn hard to get us the hell out of there, Sammy…all of us” My mind went to Mel.

“I know you did…”

“You know, I could have pulled him out. I just don't understand why he didn't try harder”

“Dean. You did everything you could” he walked around in front of me.

“Yeah…but why do I feel like crap?”

“Survivor's guilt?”

“Hmm” I looked away, toward the window again.

“If you let it, this is gonna keep messing with you. You got to walk past it” he pat my shoulder and walked into the bathroom. I almost felt ashamed just looking at his eyes…knowing what happened…if he knew….

Flashback

“We're getting close” Benny established.

“Really? I don't see crap. I mean, what the hell is this escape hatch supposed to look like?” I let out a huff. We’ve been climbing these huge ass hills and running for our lives for god knows how long….

“He doesn't know” Cas said.

“Hey, you just drug me into the fire. Please tell me you know”

“It's here. They promised”

“Oh, they? Well, that's comforting” I shook my head. My eyes kept shifting behind me to Brit who was slowing down foot by foot.

“Well, even if it does exist…”

“Broken record, Cas” Benny commented.

“Dean, it's a human portal. There's still no proof that an angel can pass…”

“Stow it, Cas. You're coming. That's final” I told him for the thousandth time.

“I'm just saying…” he put a hand on my shoulder to stop me. I faced him. “If it doesn't work…thank you for everything”

I just stared at him as my chest constructed. I couldn’t afford to lose anyone else…. “Save the Hallmark. Okay? It's gonna work. Nobody else is getting left behind”

I looked back at Brit who had stopped in her place and she was just staring blankly at the ground so I walked over to her, wrapped an arm around body, grabbing a tight hold of her and literally picking her up to keep her moving with us. Nobody else gets left behind….

End Flashback

“Hey, so it's not just Americans who are vanishing. This guy, Luigi Ponzi disappeared walking between two subway cars in Rome. And right above ground, there was a freak hail storm” Sam explained as I was in the bathroom washing my face.

“So are we going to Rome? Wouldn't be too shabby” I commented, drying my face.

“No, I wouldn’t mind that at all” Brit threw in her two cents. I stared down into the towel remembering about how Mel and I used to plan a back pack trip across Europe and I chuckled a little.

I looked back up into the mirror…and I didn’t just see my reflection. I saw Cas’. “Hello, Dean” he spoke. I spun quickly to face him…to see if he would disappear this time. He didn’t. He was really here. “Holy shit…” Sam muttered as I saw him and Brit standing in the doorway. Yea…for lack of better words….

~~

“Unbelievable, man. I cannot believe it. You're actually here”

“Yeah, I've been trying to reach out, but for whatever reason, I wasn't at full power. So I couldn't connect with you” his eyes met with mine and Brit’s.

We glanced at each other but then her eyes went right back to him as if she was afraid that he would vanish again if she would look away.

“That must have been why you kept seeing him. I mean, you think?” Sam asked me.

“Yea. But uhh I got to be honest. I'm thinking, how the hell did you make it out? I mean, I…was there. I know that place. I know how we all had to scratch and claw and kill and bleed to find that portal and make it through it, and it almost finished us” I gestured to me and Brit.

“So uh…how exactly are you sitting here with us right now?”

“Dean, everything you just said is completely true. And that's the strange part. I…have no idea. I remember endlessly running and hiding from Leviathan…and then I was on the side of the road in Illinois. And…that was it”

“And that was it?” Brit inquired.

“Yes” He looked at all of us with that innocent look that I once fell to believe. “Oh. I'm dirty” he noticed.

“Yeah, well, Purgatory will do that to you” I sighed and we all watched him walk into the bathroom.

I wanted to believe him…I really did…but him being back here…. My eyes went to Brit and she just hung her head as I could just see all of the memories come flooding back to her. I could protect her from the leviathan, the vampires, the ghouls…but I couldn’t protect her from the memories….

Flashback

“Maybe you were lied to. Maybe there is no seam” Cas was trying so hard to find a way out of this.

“I lie. I don't get lied to. Aren't you guys all about faith?”

“Not particularly”

Suddenly a leaf blew in our direction but it wasn’t falling down…the way the law of gravity is supposed to work (or so I’m told). It was blowing up by some kind of air current and at the very top of a cliff was a portal sucking in whatever was still Earth bound. It was shimmering a bright blue and changing all kinds of shape…it was hope for freedom.

“Oh, ye of frigging little faith”

“There it is…it's reacting to you two” Cas nodded to me and Brit.

“All right. Ready?” Benny asked me.

“Just like we talked about” I agreed and then looked down at Brit who was so far out of it that if I were to let go of her she would’ve fallen to the ground so I handed her off to Cas. I took out a knife and cut my arm.

“Putting a lot of trust in you, brother” “You earned it” I told him honestly, cutting his arm as well. We gripped onto each other. “I'll see you on the other side” he said and I smiled as I started the Latin.

I watched as our arms began to glow and all of Benny began to be consumed inside my body. It was uncomfortable and it even hurt a little but I needed to push passed it. “Let's go” I grunted and Cas and I trudged toward the cliff, dragging Brit along.

“Dean, wait!” Cas yelled.

I stopped short as a couple of black clouds of goop hit the ground beside us, forming leviathans. One came at me and I quickly reacted. I spun to see Cas needed help…not much in defense mode but not really in offence mode either. I hadn’t even noticed Brittney let go of my hand until I saw her kneeling in front of one of them, practically giving her life to it as it lifted her up by the neck, ready to just squeeze her last breath out….

End Flashback

“Dean?” I saw Sam and Brit both staring at me from the bed. “You all right?” Sam asked.

“You do see something severely wrong here, right? I remember every second of leaving that place, don’t you?” I asked Brit.

She looked away. “I try to block it out…”

“But you can’t and you and I both know that. I remember the heat, the stink, the pain, the fear. I have that whole ugly mess up in here and he says he has no idea how he got out? I'm just not buying it”

“So you think he’s lying” Brit assumed.

“I think something else happened. You know the shape that he was in, Brit. Sam, there was no way he was fighting his ass out alone. No way” I refused to believe it.

“All right. So, who…or what got him out?” Sam questioned.

“Exactly”

The shower shut off. Cas came walking in a coat that looked brand new even though it was the same exact one and he looked like he even shaved himself. “Much better” he smiled at all of us.