Best Intentions

It's been 23 hours since my fall out with Alex. I felt guilty. I deserve to feel guilty. But I shouldn't be thinking about that now. I have more important things to attend to today. Today I was going to spend some time with Rosie. And since Rosie hasn't seen Cass and my 2 sisters lately she's been bugging me to take her to them. So technically I'll be spending the day with Cass, Sam and Rosie. Lindsey couldn't make it. She was busy but she said that she would make it up to Rosie.

Rosie wanted to go back to the park at my old neighborhood. She claimed that it's been awhile since she's been to the park. So we went to the park. It was mostly just Sam playing with Rosie. I enjoyed watching her play with her Aunt. I was just by the swingset with Cass.
"You should really apologize you know" Cass said
"I can't face him right now." I told her
"You have to" she said
"I know" I said
"Then why aren't you apologizing?" she asked
"I don't have the guts to yet" I said
"But you have to" she said again
"I know. Soon." I said

~~~

It was my turn to play with Rosie. Sam and Cass were by the swing set. I was building sand castles with my daughter when she took notice of something.
"Mommy, why Alex no see me for a long time?" she asked. I was worried that she had gotten too attached to Alex.
"Sweetie, Alex has been busy" I said with a fake genuine smile on my face.
"He's not busy now, Mommy." she said
"How would you know?" I asked curiously. She didn't answer me but she ran past me. I turned around only to see Rosie running to Alex. He opened up his arms and she jumped into his arms. Alex had a huge grin on his face and so did my daughter. It looks like Alex told Rosie something because she ran off with Sam. I had no idea where they were going. I went up to Cass by the swing set. Alex was beside Cass, they were talking about something. Something serious I could sense it. But I still went up to them, wanting to know where Rosie and Sam were going.
"Cass, where did they go?" I asked facing Cass. Trying to avoid any eye contact with Alex.
"They went to go get some ice cream. In fact I was just about to follow. We'll be back soon. Or maybe Sam and I will just drop her off at yours. So if you want to leave, feel free" she said
"Thanks Cass" I said with a smile. What was she doing? I can't believe she would leave me here with Alex after I just told her that I wasn't ready to speak to him yet. I was screwed at this point and I knew it. I was going to be damned for all eternity.

As soon as Cass left I was about to turn the other way when Alex grabbed me by the arm and hugged me.
"I'm sorry" he said
"No, I'm sorry."I told him giving him a genuine smile. I was still hugging him. I was engulfed in his scent. I didn't want to let go but he pulled away.
"We have to talk about this now, Tay" he said
"I'm not ready" I told him
"Neither am I, but we have to. I don't want to lose you" he told me
"Fine" I said
"Tay, I'm running out of reasons to stay" he said taking a step closer to me
"And I'm running out of reasons to leave" It slipped out of my mouth. I didn't expect to say this but I did. This made him smile. It made me smile.
"Do you want me to leave?" he asked taking another step closer to me
"No." I said this time I took a step closer to him
"Good bec--" I cut him off by kissing him. It's been awhile since I've felt butterflies. I don't know why I did this but I'm glad I did it. I'm sure as hell the happiest I've ever been.
"She's mine isn't she?" he pulled away and asked. I froze for a moment as he asked this question for the second time. I couldn't speak.