Best Intentions

Cass and I were on the way to the spa to have a girl day. From where I lived it took about 15 minutes to get there. I moved out of my family's home and moved to the other side of town 4 years ago. The neighborhood wasn't really the most "happy" neighborhood, but it was cheap and I needed cheap.

I worked at this Record Store called The True Vine and today Cass convinced me to take a day-off since I hadn't had a day to myself in 5 years. At first, I was a bit skeptical about it, but both she and my mom convinced me that it would be a good idea. I couldn't help but feel worried and nervous at the thought of leaving a five year old with a nanny for the first time.
"Are you still thinking of Rosie?" Cass asked me. I cringed at the thought of her name. She was so innocent and sweet and how could I leave her at home with a nanny while I was out??
"I think this is a bad idea, let's go back to my place" i told her
"Noooo! Taaay! She'll be alright, okay? She's a strong girl, just like you! She'll be just fine" Cass said reassuringly
"Can I at least call the nanny.. You know, to check up on her?" I asked Cass
"Fine, but this will be the last time, alright?" Cass asked. I just nodded.
I dialed the number of the nanny. Her name is Juliet. She was an 18 year old college drop out. She reminded me so much of myself. A year after senior year I decided to enter community college, to make something out of myself. After all I had to find a way to earn some money considering the situation I was in. So I made a deal with my mother, I told her that if I entered college, she would have to let us stay at home and that as soon as I graduated I would be leaving. She liked that I was making something out of myself, she was proud of me for compromising such a deal. But we both knew that I didn't have to make such a deal. She would've wanted me to stay at the house even if I didn't attend college, but I knew that it would be wrong to take advantage of my mother's kindness. I had to repay her for forgiving me so easily for that one mistake that I'd made. But much like I told the guys, college wasn't for me. So I dropped out, my mom wasn't that happy but she understood and supported my decision. I love my mom so much, she always stood by my side. She told me that we could still stay but we left the house. It was the right thing to do. I found myself a job at the True Vine, I got a cheap apartment at the other side of town. My mom was so proud of me for having accomplished all these things, even with being a single mother and all. I was proud of myself too. Finally Juliet picked up.
"Hey Tay!" Juliet said
"Hi Juliet. How is she? Are you okay?" I asked sounding more eager than I intended to be.
"I'm fine, she's fine! Don't worry, I got her taken care of!" She told me reassuringly
"Are you sure? I can go home right now!" I told her
"Tay, listen to me. You haven't had a day all to yourself in five years. Go have fun with Cass. I've got her all taken care o--" She was cut of with the sound of Rosie's voice
"Juliet, Juliet! Is that mommy? Can I talk to her? Can I? Can I?" Rosie asked all excited and full of energy
"Sure, kiddo!" Juliet handed her the phone
"Mommy, mommy, I miss you!" Rosie said. Tears started forming in my eyes as my daughter said those 3 words. God, why did I ever leave her? I could've been home right now. Taking care of my daughter!
"I miss you to, baby" I said trying to sound as if I weren't tearing up
"Now go tell mommy to have fun" Juliet told Rosie
"Have fun, Mommy! I love you" Rosie said while giggling
"I love you too, sweetie. So much!" I told her. Then the phone went dead.
"Tay, are you okay?" Cass asked
"Yeah. She told me she misses me, Cass!! We should go home." I told her
"No. She told you to have fun, didn't she? She wants you to have fun. So you are going to have fun." She told me. I just nodded. We continued our spa day. It was actually nice just relaxing and chilling out. I forgot what it felt like to not worry about anything and just relax and forget about the world.

After our spa day we headed to the grocery to pick up some chocolate milk for Rosie, because I remembered that we had run out of her favorite chocolate milk.

We got to the grocery, we went it, we got the milk, then we payed for it. As soon as we payed for it we left then we went drove back to my apartment. The ride was sort of long.
"You should really go back to the old neighborhood. You know, this place is too far from me and your family and everyone else,you're on the other end of town for God's sake!" Cas told me
"Cass, you know I can't afford it" I told her
"You and Rosie can stay with me!" She offered
"You do know I can't do that, right? I don't want to be a bother" I told her
"But you won't!" She told me
"Yes, I will. And you know that!" I told her
"Fine. I tried." She told me.
"Thanks, anyway" I smiled at her
Cass decided to sleep at my apartment. We were gonna have a movie night as soon as I put Rosie to bed.

Finally we pulled up at the building's driveway. I parked my car and we went up to my apartment. I opened the door and found Juliet and Rosie on the couch watching tv. Rosie came running to me once she heard the door slam. Her curly dirty blonde hair flowing as she ran to me
"Mommy! I missed you!" She told me with a huge smile
"I missed you too, sweetie" I told her while hugging her and kissing her cheek
"Hey kiddo, whatcha watching?" Cass asked Rosie
"The Backyardigans! Come on Aunt Cass, watch with me!" She said
"Okay! Come on!" Cass said while laughing
"You know, she was just about to fall asleep 'til you came, right?" Juliet asked me
"She was? Oh my god. If I hadn't come early she would've fallen asleep without me!" I said
"It's fine, call me if you need me to babysit again, okay?" Juliet said as she walked out the front door.
"Rosie, baby. Come on let's get you to bed!" I said she ran into my arms and I carried her into her room.
"Mommy, will you sing for me?" she asked. Just like her father. He would always ask me to sing for him. But that was back then. It's been 5 years. He probably doesn't remember me anymore.
"okay, sweetie"

"And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes"

Finally Rosie was asleep. I kissed her forehead and left the room.
"She asleep?" Cass asked.
"Yup" I said smiling as i remembered her request
"She's something special, Tay. You're lucky to have someone like her in your life" She told me
"I know. Now, let's get this marathon running" I told her.
We watched movies the whole night until we both fell asleep. This was a good day. I'm sure as hell the happiest I've ever been. I couldn't ask for anything else. My life was fine just the way it is right now.