I Know The Way You've Been Living

After my talk with Blake the other day, I finally gather up my nerves to talk to Brian. It was almost 2 PM and I’m still sitting in my bedroom, going over the stuff that I needed to say to Brian to get him to back off. Honestly, I didn’t want to do this at all. I don’t want to shut Brian out of my life and I don’t want to offend him by saying that I choose Blake over him.

I honestly still don’t know why I’m going out with Blake, but I know it’s not love, at least not yet. I like him, I like him a lot and I refuse to say that the reason I chose Blake is because I need to get over Brian because that’s not true, I would never do that to someone.

I grabbed my phone and put on my slip-on vans, I locked the door behind me and began my way to Brian’s house. It wasn’t that hot but my hands are sweating, I felt like fainting and my heart is beating a million times faster than normal. I swear I’m so close to collapsing on the sidewalk any second. When I reached Brian’s doorstep, I kept praying that he’s gone somewhere and there’s nobody home. But well, that would be almost too perfect right?

“Hey Melanie, what are you doing here?” I snapped out of my thoughts and saw Michelle in her t-shirt on the doorway. I didn’t even realize that I knocked on the door.

“Uhm… Is Brian here, I kinda need to give him something from Zacky” I lied. Of course. If I said I needed to talk to him about something, Michelle is going to ask questions that I don’t have the answer to.

“Sure, come on in!” She ushered me in and called Brian. Shit, he’s home.

“He’ll be out in a second, he’s just messing around with his guitar upstairs. I need to take a shower though, you okay waiting here?”

“Yeah, no problem, thanks Shelly” I gave her a smile and she bounced up the stairs.

Okay, I still have time to bolt and run back to the house and pretend that this whole thing never happened. I can just lie to Blake that I talked to Brian and that everything is okay, that he doesn’t hate him.

Yeah, I think that’s what I’ll do.

I got up and about to head to the door when I felt somebody standing behind me.

“Melanie?” Oh fuck.

I turned around and there he is, being the perfect human being that he is. With his crisp white V-neck that showed his bulging biceps and his hair spiked into a million directions but still made him look amazingly dapper.

“Hi, Brian” I gave him a quick smile; well this isn’t awkward at all.

“What are you doing here? Come on sit down” He pointed the couch, we both sat down and I took a deep breath.

“I need to talk to you about something, something… Important”

“Okay, sure”

And just as if God is trying to make my life a living hell, all of the things that I have rehearsed and constructed in my head were wiped clean. I couldn’t remember anything at all. But I know I couldn’t just get up and go home, so I decided to go in blind. Help me God.

“It’s about Blake and I” I noticed his face fell and his body tensed, “I noticed that ever since I introduced Blake to you, you have been acting strange and honestly it’s confusing me. You’ve been ignoring me, avoiding me like I have a disease and the look you’ve been giving Blake is really bugging him. I just wanted to know why”

I know why, I just needed to hear it from him. So I know that I’m not delusional, crazy or just plain over-confident. I need to know so I can set the record straight, I can say directly to him that we cannot be together and that it’s not right for us to be together.

“Nothing, I don’t care about you and Blake. You can do whatever you want for all I care, I’m just your brother’s friend. Nothing more” He said flatly.

Well I wasn’t expecting that answer.

“Seriously Brian, this isn’t you. I know you well enough to know that something is bugging you. Can you just please tell me what the hell is wrong with you?” I throw up my hands in desperation.

He looked down and played with his fingers, staying quiet. I scoffed and stood up.

“Fine! If this is what you want then whatever, I’m only trying to fix this shit that’s been going on with us. Just so you know, I’m happy with Blake and you need to understand that and get it through your thick skull. Back off from Blake, stop making him feel uncomfortable and stop making me feel bad for choosing Blake over you. Stop texting me, stop calling me and stop trying to see me because I don’t have anything more to say to you, just fuck off Brian” I yelled and stormed out of the house, running back home with tears streaming down my face.

What have I done?



Brian’s POV

I sat frozen on my couch, still trying to process what Melanie said 5 minutes ago. I can’t believe that I messed up this bad, I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell Melanie that I have feelings for her and that I wanted to kill her boyfriend whenever I see him, but I know I could’ve come up with something else. I was just so confused and scared of saying something that might mess up what we already have, but instead I ruin everything for us, for good.

I was breathing heavily, my chest felt heavy and my eyes felt hot. I blinked back the tears and got up. Fuck this, I thought, I guess I really need to get over Melanie. I have Michelle goddamn it!

“Babe?” I called into the room, looking around to find her

“In the bathroom Brian” She shouted

I got inside the bathroom and leaned to the doorway.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She was only covered in her towels, her hair damp and fog was covering the bathroom mirror.

I smiled at her and moved closer, wrapping my arms on her back. Kissing her nose, her lips, and her neck. She moaned, kissing me back, throwing her arms on my neck. I scooped her up and threw onto the bed.

Looking at Michelle, naked and wet on my bed almost made me forgot about the shit I have with Melanie. Almost.