I Know The Way You've Been Living

My life is now the equivalent of what goes out of your body after eating too much spicy salsa. I went from loving my life, with everything great and perfect, to a freaking black hole in a matter of days. I haven’t seen the guys since the day Matt barged into my room and yelled at me. Although they did try to talk to me, Matt even called me fifteen times to my cellphone, but I didn’t care. Ever since my altercation with Blake, I had locked myself inside my room. I stopped cooking dinner, I locked my bedroom whenever the guys came and I stopped watching TV downstairs. I only went out to get food and to go to school.

Ugh, school. Can you imagine what I have to go through at school?

When I started going out with Blake, Patricia backed off and she acted as if she doesn’t even acknowledge that I was there. Now? I went back to having no friends, Patricia is back to treating me like shit, and back then people looked at me because Zacky is famous, now they look at me because I hang out with a drug addict and a guy with a bad temper.

Although the band issued an official statement on their website, Facebook and Twitter soon after Blake’s post was up on the Internet, it didn’t help one bit. My Facebook and Twitter was blowing up by kids asking whether the article was true or not, some loyal fans are helping me by defending the guys but the Internet is vicious! Kids are actually swearing and saying fucked up stuff TO ME. I didn’t do anything wrong and yet I still get shit for what happened to the guys.

I’m not depressed or anything, mostly I was fucking angry. I am furious at the world right now because everything is wrong. I usually went by the day thinking of what I want to do when I get home, or what to do with the guys to kill time. Now all I think is how much longer I have to stay here before moving to New York and starting fresh.

I was walking towards Calculus class when someone bumped my shoulder and made me drop my books in the middle of the crowded hallway.

“Watch where you’re going, loser” I looked up and it there was Patricia and her minions standing in front of me with their hands on their waist.

“Shut up, plastic” I muttered as I bent down to grab my books that was scattered on the tiled floor.

“What if I don’t want to, slut?” She kicked the book that I was holding in my hand, I closed my eyes in anger and stood up, “oh what are you going to do now? Ask for your famous brother to help? Or one of his… Fucked up friends?” She smirked and in reflex I swung my hand and it landed straight to her left cheek.

She screamed and the whole hallway went quiet. Fuck.

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU LITTLE BITCH!” She jerked forward but her minions held her back, she was flailing her arms around trying to reach me.

I took the opportunity to grab my books and run, I turned left towards the Calculus class when I head someone calling my name.

“Melanie, my office now” I turned around to see Principal Figs standing on the doorway of his office.

Oh dear Lord, what is it this time?

I took a seat in front of him, setting my bag and books on the floor. I was fidgeting; if I get into trouble because of Patricia again I’ll be toast cause none of the guys are going to save my ass this time.

“I bet you’re wondering why you’re here, Ms. Baker?” Principal Figs adjusted himself on his chair, I nodded in reply.

“Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble this time, I actually have good news for you. Up until now, you hold the highest GPA compared to all your classmates and if you do as good in your final exams, you could have the possibility of being crowned as the valedictorian” He smiled wide, hoping to get me to smile as well.

I really don’t care.

But I faked a smile anyway, “Wow, that is such an honor Principal Figs, I’ll try really hard for the final exams”

“That’s the spirit! I know you can do it” Then his expression softens, oh no, “oh one more thing, are you okay Melanie? I heard a couple of things from the students and the teachers about… your brother. How are you holding up?”

Ah! Why does he have to make this more awkward than it already is?

“I… Uh, I’m fine. I try not to think about it too much” I really hope he got the hint.

“If you ever need anything, I am here to talk and Mrs. Hayes in counseling is more than happy to help” He smiled, I only nod in answer, and then he dismissed me.

I walked out and into class, I looked down all through class but I can feel the stares that the kids are giving me. Why can’t this day end already?



“Mom are you home?” I yelled throughout the house as I entered through the front door. Usually when she’s home she would yell back from her home office but I got no reply, so I assume she was still at work.

I noticed the house was empty, I walked towards the backdoor and checked the pool and it was empty as well. I let out a relieved sigh, none of the boys are here for me to avoid.

I walked back towards the kitchen and took out fresh apples and ice water from the fridge. I plopped myself onto the couch and turned on the TV, How I Met Your Mother was on.

It was halfway through the show when I heard noises from the door under the stairs. Shit! I forgot to check the basement studio!

I stood up, grabbed my apple and water and tiptoed towards the stairs. Just as I was preparing myself to bolt, the basement door opened and I saw Matt and Jimmy went out with their beers in hand. Matt looked at me and we just stared at each other, not knowing what to do, I walked up the stairs.

“Melanie, wait!” Matt grabbed my arm and spun me around

“What? I don’t wanna talk to you” I jerked my hand away from him and turned around

“Please Mel, just hear me out okay? Please?” I turned around and see Matt’s face that was pleading and his eyes were shiny from holding back his tears.

Oh come on Mel, you’re not that kind of person. Just hear him out!

“Fine, talk” I crossed my arm in front of my chest and leaned to the wall

“I’m really sorry okay, I didn’t mean any of the things that I said to you. I was furious, I was angry and I wasn’t thinking. Mel, you are like a little sister to me and I would never do anything to hurt you–“

“But you did” I cut him off, he looked down and sighed

“Yes, I did. But I am fucking sorry Mel; I spent everyday thinking how I can take it back. I’m sorry I hurt you Mel, I promise I would never do anything like that ever again.”

My head is telling me to just turn around, walk up to my room and lock it so no one could follow me. But my heart is telling me to just forgive him and move on. The only time I saw Matt beg for forgiveness is when he was caught making out with some girl at this club and Val saw him. He was like this only 10 times more heartbreaking when he was pleading for Val to take him back.

“Fine” I said then I turned around

“What?” He went up a step and grabbed my arm

“You heard me, I said fine. You’re forgiven, I just can’t be nice to you right now” The out of nowhere I saw the biggest smile Matt has ever given me and he immediately reached for a bear hug.

He let go after a few seconds and kissed my forehead, “Thanks Mel, you know I love you right?” He ruffled my hair and went down the stairs and disappear to find Jimmy who walked away to give Matt and I some privacy.

I forgive, doesn’t mean I forget.