Somewhere in Neverland

It’s our second day off and rather be on my way up north like the rest of the crew, I’m sitting in the Detroit airport alone, rubbing my fingers harshly over my temples and wishing to be anywhere but here.

Why, of all places, Eliza decided to run off to Chicago, I’ll never understand, but she did and I’m the one she called to come fix things.

I pick at the food on my plate and silently curse my sister’s impulses. Eliza isn’t one to make rash decisions, so the fact that she did worries me. She wouldn’t say why she left Hawaii so quickly, but it seemed urgent.

Bzzzzz! Bzzzzz!

My phone vibrates loudly against the table and I pick it up to see it’s my dad.

“Please tell me you’ve heard from Eliza,” He says immediately, urgency and worry flooding his sleep deprived voice. “She never came home last night and I got a call from her school saying she never showed up today.”

“Dad-”

“Please, Caroline. Please just tell me she’s okay.”

“She’s okay,” I say and I hear him sigh in relief. “She’s in Chicago and I’m on my way to go get her.”

“What do you mean?”

I raise my palm to my forehead and try to work out in my mind everything that’s happened in the past two hours. Eliza called me in a fit of panic from the airport in Chicago saying she’d fucked up big time and didn’t know where to go from there. I tried my best to calm her down, promising I’d be on the next flight to Chicago to help her figure her shit out, but she couldn’t hold herself together, blabbering utter nonsense and not making any sort of sense.

“She called me from Chicago. I don’t know why she went to Chicago, but I’m at the airport in Detroit about to get on a plane to go get her,” I pause momentarily and let the information sink in with my dad. “Don’t get angry, okay? Try not to take it out on her, alright?”

“I’m gonna get on the next flight to Los Angeles,” He says after a minute of silence. “Send her back.”

I shake my head and laugh bitterly. “Dad, she’s eighteen now; you can’t dictate her life. Give her room to breathe, okay? Let her sort out her head before you demand anything of her.”

“She turned eighteen yesterday, Caroline; she’s in no way an adult yet. She doesn’t know how to run her life, let alone figure it out in a city where she knows no one.”

“She’s a legal adult, dad. I know she’s still your baby, but you have to lessen the grip on her.”

He groans and laughs slightly. “Lessen the grip on a kid who flew halfway across the world on a whim with no explanation. Let’s be real-”

“I’ll get an explanation, dad, but I gotta go. My plane boards in fifteen minutes. I’ll call you when I land, alright?”

He sighs. “Okay.”

When I hang up, my phone almost immediately buzzes from an incoming text from Alex.



It’s hard to explain the situation because I don’t completely understand it myself, but I try my best to leave him rest assured.



Evidently, the statement warrants the need of an explanation because he calls me and I debate, whole-heartedly, ignoring it. Still, I can’t bring myself to do it, so I answer.

“What’s going on?” Apparently no one says ‘hello’ nowadays, but I ignore his blatant disregard for its use and begin my explanation once again.

“I honestly have no idea,” I try, but it doesn’t help him worry any less, so I try again. “Eliza called me from Chicago – don’t know why she’s there – but she’s freaking out.”

“Do you need backup?”

“No,” I shake my head and dig through the pile of fries, picking one of the little crispy ones and pop it in my mouth. “I need to figure what the fuck is going on first and maybe just have a sister-to-sister intervention, but I need to go find my gate. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Okay,” He answers. “Love you.”

“Love you, too, Alex.”

I hang up and drop enough cash for the bill and tip on the table before pushing my chair away from the table and leave the restaurant to find my gate. The terminal is overwhelmingly long and by the time I find the gate, it’s already boarding. Quickly, I join the tail-end of the line and hand the woman my ticket before entering the jet bridge.

The plane is small with only two seats on one side and one seat on the other, but I’m fortunate enough to be on the two person side, knowing full well my flight anxiety will kick in at any moment. Thankfully when I find my seat, there’s someone sitting in the one next to it.

You’re not gonna be alone; you’re fine. I tell myself, feeling the jitters start already. Fuck, why didn’t you force someone to come with you?

I know the answer to that, though. Eliza clearly has something troubling going on in her life and desperately needs help sorting it out. It would be unfair to force someone else to come along for the ride just because I’m a baby when it comes to flying.

The boy in the seat looks up and smiles kindly as I shove my carryon in the overhead compartment before taking a seat.

“Hey,” I say, sitting down in the stiff seat. He nods, acknowledging my presence and turns back to staring out the window.

So much for distracting conversations, I’ll just have to deal with my thoughts on my own. I’m suddenly wishing I’d made the selfish decision to bring someone along with me. I don’t even care if it would have been shitty of me; I can’t keep my mind from wandering to everything that could go wrong.



I click send and pray that his encouraging words can come before the flight attendants make their way down the aisle to make sure all electronics are turned off.



That’s easier said than done. The bus isn’t full of strangers and although I’ve heard that driving a car is more dangerous than flying, it’s the unfamiliarity with it that I have a problem with.


“At this time, we’d like to ask that everyone turns off all electronics and stow them safely during take-off. We will announce when it’s safe to use any approved electronics.” The pilot announces over the speaker. I hold out as long as possible for Alex’s response.



I flip my phone to airplane mode before powering it down and shove it into my pocket, hoping this flight will be quick and easy. By the time we reach the runway, we’re behind schedule and my palms are sweating while clutched tightly to the armrests on either side of me.

“Nervous flyer?” The kind looking older man across the aisle asks, eyeing my white knuckles.

I laugh nervously and nod my head. “What gives you that impression?” My voice cracks.

He chuckles and straightens his arm across the aisle, motioning for me to take his hand. I quickly comply and find comfort in this stranger’s kind act.

Even after takeoff I don’t let go of his hand and I’m thankful that he doesn’t seem fazed by it. He keeps his eyes on the in-flight magazine and I stare at the seat back in front of me, trying to find something else to think about besides my current position 30,000 feet above the ground. Despite the excitement of the past week on tour and the craziness of everything happening between me and Alex, I can’t seem to recall any of it; my mind forgetting everything except my current location.

“Honey, don’t forget to breathe,” The man says, shaking my hand slightly to snap me out of whatever trance I’m in. “Take deep breaths; I promise it helps.”

I force a smile and breathe stiffly.

“What’re you going to Chicago for?” He asks, closing his magazine and returning it to the seat pocket with his free hand.

“It’s kinda complicated,” I answer. “I’m on tour with my band right now and we’re supposed to have a few days off, but I sort of have to figure a few things out.”

“Oh, that sounds fun! What band are you in? I wonder if I’ve ever heard of you guys.”

“Feral Amity,” I say and he looks confused. “We’re mostly YouTube famous, but we’re on tour with All Time Low and The Summer Set right now.”

He looks at me with a blank expression on his face and he shakes his head slowly. “I must be getting old or something because I haven’t heard of any of you guys. Sorry.”

“That’s okay. I didn’t really expect you to know any of us.”

The rest of the short flight is filled with small talk between the two of us and I’m astounded when we land because he was able to keep my distracted to completely miss the fact that we were landing. The only indication of the landing is the slight jerking as the wheels make contact with the ground and we come to a screeching halt.

“At this time, cellular devices may be used but laptops should not be used,” A flight attendant announces over the speaker.

I let go of the man’s hand and thank him for his kindness. He shrugs his shoulders and laughs.

“No problem. It was very nice meeting you. Hope you have fun on the rest of your tour.”

When I turn my phone on, it buzzes repeatedly, notifying me I have sixteen unread text messages. I’m thoroughly confused as to how in the span of 45 minutes I’ve received 16 texts. I’m not usually that popular.

Most are from my band mates wondering what the hell is going on and a few are from my dad who’s still worrying about Eliza and then there are a few from Zack, Rian, Jack, and Alex.



Then there’s the one from Rian:



And from Zack:



Zack’s makes me chuckle a little bit and lightens the mood a bit, but I hit back and dial Eliza’s number.

“Hello?” Her voice is raspy with sleep and I know she’s not going to be up for talking right away.

“I just landed. Where are you?”

“Baggage claim. Please don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” I say. “We just need to have a pretty serious heart-to-heart, sister-to-sister talk, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Alright, I’ll see you in a few.”

When I hang up, I dial Alex’s number next.

“Hey, you find her yet?” He asks immediately.

“No, I just landed. I’m still on the plane,” I answer, running my hand through my unwashed hair. I was just about to get in the shower when Eliza called and left before I had the chance.

“Have you talked to her, though?” His voice is full of worry and it makes me love him that much more. “Do you want me to fly out and meet you guys?”

“Slow down there, Speed Racer. Let me talk to her and try and figure out what’s going on and then I’ll let you know if your presence is requested.” I know if I give Eliza the option of having Alex join us in Chicago, she’s going to say yes. Alex is like a big brother to her and he witnessed her grow from a newborn to an elementary schooler. I know he’s as worried about her as I am and it’s comforting to know that she has someone else that has her back.

“If she just needs a break from real life, she’s more than welcome to join us on the road for a few days,” He says and I know he’d like that as much as she would. “She’s 18 now so it wouldn’t even be that weird.”

“No, that’d be weird, Alex. She’s my baby sister; she’s not coming on the road with us.”

“Hey, keep an open mind.”

“Eh, I’ll consider it, but I gotta go. Let everyone know that I’ll keep them updated and that not everybody needs to text me, okay?”

He laughs. “What, you don’t want 40 texts that all essentially say the same thing but are from different people?”

“No.”

“Party pooper.”

“Okay,” I say when people start standing up to grab their bags. “I really gotta go now. Love you and I’ll talk to you later.”

The kid next to me gives me a weird look of speculation, but I shrug it off as I sling my backpack around my shoulders, too engrossed in grabbing my bag and dialing my dad’s phone number.

“Before you say anything, I haven’t found her yet. I just landed and am still on the plane. I called her, though and talked to her.”

“Do you know what you guys are gonna do once you find her?” He asks. “Do you have a hotel or anything?”

Shit, I didn’t even think to book one.

“Nope, but I just got off the phone with Alex and he said he’d be willing to come out to Chicago if we wanted. So he might have a friend or connection or something.”

Now the kid next to me is giving me really weird looks and I realize I should probably keep my voice down low. I had, after all, announced our touring status to the man across the aisle and should maybe stop name dropping.

“Okay, just let me know when you find her.”

“Will do, dad. Love you.”

As first class and coach begins to exit the plane, I wave one last time at the older gentleman across the aisle and join the crowd exiting the aircraft. I follow the signs to baggage claim while texting Bam to see if he can book a hotel room for me because I wouldn’t even begin to know where to start.



When I finally make it baggage claim, I spot the towhead girl immediately and smile wearily at her. She stands up and we meet halfway in a tight embrace.

“We have a lot to talk about,” I say.

“You have no idea,” She says back.