Somewhere in Neverland

Everyone’s a little cranky today because we got woken up at six to get back on the road to continue our 16 hour drive from Tempe to Houston. The past few days have been a busy blur of everybody trying to compensate for Bam’s absence and we’re all more irritable than usual.

Noelle agreed to step in for Bam for the remaining three weeks which has been a blessing in more than one way. Sure, it’s nice to have her around as an extra set of hands, but mainly it’s good to have her around to bring a little estrogen to this testosterone party I’ve been living these past three weeks. Being able to gossip and talk about girl things again without someone rolling their eyes or fake gagging is refreshing.

Today has been an unbearably long day on the road that seems like an unrelenting and never ending journey. Last time I looked at the clock, it was 8 pm, but I don’t know how long ago that was. I’m trying not to look at the clock because it makes the time seem to go slower. We’ve been entertaining ourselves how we normally do on long days in the van: jamming out to only the best music.

“Cause all I need is a beauty and a beat, who can make my life complete,” We all scream at the top of our lungs. “It’s all ‘bout you, when the music makes you move, baby do it like you do!”

It doesn’t matter how ridiculous the music is because we’re all so over tired that we’re starting to lose it and no one is thinking straight enough to realize how awful it is. We’re so miserable that whenever we get the chance, we stop and do Chinese fire drills to mix things up. It’s kind of pathetic that changing our seating arrangement is enough spice in our life to keep us from going completely insane.

“Caroline can do the dance to this by heart!” Noelle screams over the music as I go through the moves of the Just Dance 4 choreography as best as I can in the cramped van. “Ow ow! Get it, girl!”

“Are you filming me?” I ask, spotting Miller holding his phone out in front of him in a very suspicious way. I continue dancing, but shoot him the finger when he smiles and nods, having zero fucks to give about anything. “Cause all I need is a beauty and a beat, who can make my life complete! It’s all ‘bout you, when the music makes you move, baby do it like you do!” I belt out as I finish dancing and take my seat next to Noelle in the front row of the van.

“Aw, shit!” Theo yells as the guitar for Year 3000 by the Jonas Brother blares through the speakers. “This was my jam like, six years ago!”

I settle myself against the window and finally find the nerve to check my phone for the time. It feels safe to say it’s been a while since I last checked, unless the road is still playing games with our minds.

“Guys, it’s officially eleven o’clock,” I announce and everybody groans in disgust. We’ve been on the road for 17 hours which has encompassed too many bathroom breaks to count and two food breaks. “How much longer, Ro?”

Roland shakes his head as he rubs his eyes and lets out a yawn. “I’d say a good 45 minutes to an hour.”

“Fuck that! This is horse shit!” Miller whines, flinging himself back against the bench he’s been dangling off of for the past three hours.



I click the send button and secretly hope they’re not already there. Knowing Alex, he’d zonk out pretty early after a day like today unless he spent most of it in bed, which, judging by the amount he was texting me earlier, I’d say he was awake for most of the day. He replies almost immediately and I smile like a giddy little girl when his name flashes across my screen.



I bite my lip slightly and smile while reading it because he’s trying to stay awake until I get there. If he wasn’t determined to stay up until we finally got to Houston, he’d long be passed out already.



I pull my hood over my head and nestle myself into the corner the bench makes with the window and attempt to close my eyes and get some rest despite the screams coming from my band mates. They’re now singing their own versions of If I Were a Boy by Beyonce and if I wasn’t so exhausted, I would join in, but I can’t fathom doing anything but falling asleep right now.



I agree to continue texting him until we get to the hotel on the condition that we can cuddle hardcore when I get there. He immediately approved that deal and I somehow managed to keep myself at least somewhat conscious the entire rest of the drive.

“Land! Solid land!” Sam and Russell scream as they fall to their knees and kiss the pavement frantically.

“Grab your bags, fuckers,” Roland rolls his eyes and tosses me my backpack and my duffel bag quickly.

I gratefully sling my backpack over my shoulders and wait for the boys to stop acting like childish freaks before we make our way into the fancy lobby. Roland checks everyone in as I dial Alex’s number for him to come down to get me.

“Hey,” He sounds exhausted when he answers.

“I’m down in the lobby,” I say. “Will you come down and get me?”

“Yeah, I’ll be down in a minute,” He says and hangs up.

Otto and Theo have found the comfy lobby couches and have all but completely fallen asleep on them in the short wait for Roland to get their room keys. I give everyone hugs goodnight as Alex steps out of the elevator.

“Finally,” He smiles, grabbing my duffel bag and swings it easily over his shoulder before wrapping his free arm around me. “It took you guys long enough.”

“Tell me about it,” I groan as the elevator door closes and we start our ascent up to the third floor. “When I was told I would be getting a day off today, I pictured something completely different. This wasn’t a day off; it was just a travel day.”

He shrugs his shoulders slightly. “Eh, they become one and the same eventually. You just gotta take it for what it is.”

I wrap my arms around his abdomen and sigh, glad that today is finally over and we’re together again. He kisses the top of my head as the elevator door opens and we find our way down the hall to our room.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” He says sarcastically, dropping my bag down on the floor and flings himself into the bed. “I’ll be right here.”

I drop my backpack next to my duffel bag and allow myself to fall on top of him. Neither of us is in the mood for anything beyond a quick kiss, but we lie there for a few minutes in silence, just grateful that we made it through today.

“Can we strip down to our underwear and cuddle next to each other?” I finally whisper and he nods his head in response.

I stand up and slip my navy blue shorts down my legs and pull my hoodie over my head before throwing both of them into the existing pile of stuff. Alex sits up and shimmies his pajama pants off his legs, too lazy to pull himself entirely out of bed and yanks his shirt over his head.

He pulls the comforter back and waits for me to crawl under to adjust himself up against me. Before I curl up against him, he pulls away and flicks the lamp off, leaving us in the pitch black.

“Love you,” I say, allow him to pull me into his chest and wrap me in a tight embrace.

“Love you, too,” He mumbles as I tangle my fingers in his hair and force one of my legs in between his and lay the other on top.

I could get used to this feeling.