The Life and Times of a Not So Ordinary Vampire Family

“Christian, Lennox get up you’re gonna be late for school. I am not going into the office again to explain to your ass hat of a head why you’re late, so get your asses in gear and get on that bus” hollers Alexa from the kitchen.

“Aww why not? You seemed to enjoy that so much last time” Jack comments with a smirk.

“Oh yeah because I just love sitting in an office with an overweight, fifty year old man who spends most of the conversation hitting on me” she responds sarcastically.

“Maybe you should put on your scary vampire face and scare him into not hitting on you anymore” Christian comments entering the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of blood from the fridge.

“The aim of having you two go to school is to try and keep up some semblance of our being a normal human family, my going all ‘scary vampire’ on the school head wouldn’t exactly help our cause.” She says. “where’s Lennox she should be down here by now the bus comes in twenty minutes and it’s a ten minute walk to the bus stop”

“I still don’t understand why we have to walk to the bus when we can just run there in about thirty seconds” Christian says.

“Because we’re supposed to be blending in, running around at the speed of light is really a very good way to do that” she says

“Petrolo you need to learn to relax, we’re not newborns, we do all know how to live under the radar and avoid being discovered by the humans, we’ve managed it for decades.” Jack says.

“I know you do, and you can do all of that whenever you want to in the woods, or in the paddocks behind the trees but not along the road. We can’t risk anyone seeing something. I’ve seen many a vampire staked because they got complacent and let their guard down around people. I don’t want that to happen to any of you.” Alexa says.

“You don’t want what to happen to any of us?” Lennox asks jumping down the last few steps and bounding into the kitchen.

“I don’t want any of you to get complacent and pay for it with your lives” Alexa responds. “and I also don’t want you two to be late for school again so eat your breakfast and get to the bus stop.” she adds.

“Yes mother” Lennox jokes poking her tongue out.

“Very funny, now quit checking your reflection in the oven door and get a move on or you are going to miss the bus again.” Alexa says.

“And what are you two going to be doing while we’re at school all day?” Christian asks.

“Errands, we’re running low on blood so we’ve got run into the city to pick up some more. And then theres that window on the third floor that needs fixing and the weather vane on top of the house blew down in those storms last week so I might put that back up today. And someone needs to fix the car or we’re not going to be getting any more blood.” Alexa says glancing at Jack.

“By someone do you mean me?” Jack asks.

“Unless you’d rather fix the weather vane” she comments.

“No thank you, you know how I am with heights.” he responds “I don’t know how you can stand it being all the way up there with no harness or anything.”

“We’re vampires Jack, it’s not like we’re gonna die if we fall off the roof” Lennox points out.

“Not unless you fall onto a sharp piece of wood and it goes through your heart.” Christian adds.

“Yes but chances of that happening are pretty slim, especially here since we don’t have any twigs or branches or anything sharp and pointy on the ground round the house.” Lennox says.

“Ok we can finish this discussion later. After school. Now do you two have all your homework done because I am not going to be coming in to compel the history teacher into giving you any more extensions,” Alexa says.

“Could you teach us how to do it?” Christian asks.

“No, I can’t, if you haven’t done your work you can stay back and serve detention like the other kids” she says. “But i can’t see why you wouldn’t have done it you’ve had plenty of time.”

“Don’t worry, it’s all done I just wanted to see what reaction I’d get from you” he responds with a smirk.

“You’re a little shit head you know that?” Alexa says.

“Yeah I know, but you still love me.” he responds.

“Not if you’re late for school and make me go sit with Sir Pervesalot I don’t” she says. “So go both of you now. Have a good day at school”

“Are you gonna pick us up or do we have to get he bus home?” Lennox asks.

“Well that all depends on whether or not Jack gets the car fixed, if he does we’ll pick you up on the way back from the blood run, if not you’ll just have to ride the bus for another day.” Alexa says.

“Hmm I might just put off the fixing of the car another couple days, we’ve got enough blood to last till the weekend, I might do some gardening today instead and let you two catch the bus home again because I know how much you enjoy that” Jack says.

“You ass you better fix that car! Do you know how much that bus stinks with all the sweaty jock guys on it? AND its going to be worse today because they’re finishing classes early for a pep rally so there are gonna be even more sweaty stinky people on it” Lennox says.

“Eh, I’ll try and fit it into my busy schedule. No promises though” Jack responds smirking at her.

“I hate you” she responds poking her tongue out at him.

“Well if that’s the way you’re gonna be I’ll not fix the car” he says.

“No Jacky I didn’t mean it, I love you, you’re the best. No one even comes close to being as amazing as you are.” she says.

“That’s better! Ok I’ll fix the car. Now get to school before you miss the bus.” he says giving her a quick hug. “see you out front at 3:30”