Take Me Back to Where We Started

It's been a little over a month since Dallas asked me to be his girlfriend, and I've done a good job of hiding it from everyone I knew. I never took his necklace off, but I always kept it tucked into my shirt so that no one could see it. It wasn't that I was embarrassed of him, hell, I wanted to get up on the table at lunch and let everyone know that I was dating Dallas Winston. I thought it sounded pretty bad ass. I just figured that as of right now, there was no need for me to piss everyone I love off. My father had finally started talking to me again, so I thought I would give it another week or two before I broke the news to my parents about Dally. I was lying on the couch at home watching TV with my brother when the phone rang. We both shot up to answer it, but he beat me to it.

"Hello?" He said into the receiver. "Yeah, she's here. Who is this…oh." He stretched his arm out and handed me the phone, before throwing himself back onto the couch. "It's your teacher or something."

"My teacher?" I said, before putting the phone to my ear. "Uh…hello?"

"I wanna bend you over my desk and fuck you in my classroom, right now."

"You're so stupid." I forgot that Paul thought I was talking to "my teacher." "Is there something you need?"

"Yeah, I want you to come to the Curtis's for dinner tonight." Dally said on the other side of the line. "It's Johnny's birthday and they're having a dinner for him."

"I wish you would've told me about this before." I said, trying to make it at least sound kind of like I was talking to my teacher. "I'll bake cookies or something. What time is…you know."

"I'll get you in a half hour. Go make your cookies." With that, he hung up.

"What was that about?" Paul asked. I shrugged my shoulders, then put the phone down.

"Just some class party we're having."

"You told your teacher that he was stupid? And your teacher called you about a party?"

"Yeah, Paul. He's a cool teacher."

"Sounds like it." He muttered. I walked out of the room and into the kitchen and started making cookies. Once I got them in the oven, I hopped up on the counter and listened to Paul talk to Cynthia on the phone out in the living room.

"Anybody home?" I heard my Dad call from the front hallway.

"Yeah, in here." I said back. I knew Paul wasn't gonna answer because he was on the phone. My Dad walked into the kitchen and got himself a glass of water.

"Off the counter. Now." He pointed his finger at me.

I rolled my eyes and hopped off the counter. "You aren't gonna ask me about my day or anything?" I said to my Dad.

"How was your day?" He asked, walking out of the room and up the stairs. I ignored him and took the cookies out of the oven.

"Who's shitty car is that outside?" Paul asked. I went over to the sink and looked out the window. "Shit." I said to myself, as I quickly tried to get the cookies onto a plate.

"Is that…" Paul trailed off. I grabbed the cookies and ran past him as he was getting up from the couch. "That better not be who I think it is." I ran to the door and opened it. "Nope, it's not him." I ran out to the car, dropping three cookies on the way. I got in, then slammed the door shut. Go! Duck down."

Dally slammed the gas pedal which sent the cookies all over Buck's disgusting car. "Look what you did!" I yelled at him as I threw my head backwards onto the head rest.

"Just pick them up. Relax, Jesus Christ."

"I wouldn't give these cookies to anyone now that they've touched the floor of this thing." Dallas flew around the corner, not touching the brake once. I swore the car was gonna flip. "There's no way you have your license." He reached into his wallet and pulled out his license, both hands leaving the wheel. The car began to drift into oncoming traffic. Someone honked their horn as Dallas flipped them off, putting his other hand back on the wheel. I reached over and grabbed his license off of his lap.

"Last time I checked, you were 17." I said, noticing that his license said that he was 21.

"Yeah, well. Last time I checked, 17 year olds can't buy alcohol."

We walked into the Curtis's house and it was packed. Two Bit was sitting on the couch with his arm around some blonde girl, Soda was sitting on the recliner with a blonde girl on his lap, Steve was sitting on the arm of the couch next to a brunette girl, Pony and Johnny were sitting on the floor against the wall and Darry was in the kitchen.

"Hey, Happy Birthday, Kid." Dally said walking over to Johnny, messing up his hair.

"Cut it out, Dallas." He slapped Dally's hand away.

"She's with Dallas?" I heard the blonde sitting on Soda's lap say.

I quickly reached into my shirt and pulled his necklace out so it was showing. I didn't have to hide it from anyone here. They all already knew.

The girl got off of Soda's lap and stood up, Soda right behind her. "Nicole, this is my girlfriend Sandy; Sandy, this is Dal's girlfriend, Nicole." I smiled, then shook her hand. I felt an arm wrap around my waist, then heard Dallas's voice from behind me. "That over there is Carly, Two Bit's girl."

"It's Kathy." Two Bit barked back at him.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say. And that's Evie over there next to Steve."

"Ya'll better come eat 'fore it gets cold." Darry called from the kitchen. As I walked into the kitchen behind Dallas, I saw Darry dump pasta from a strainer into a bowl, then pour spaghetti sauce on top of it.

Dinner was quiet, mainly because every one was stuffing their faces with food. As soon as Two Bit was done eating, he pushed himself away from the table and walked into the living room.

"Just in time for Mickey." He said to himself before falling onto the couch.

All of the guys filed into the living room one by one as soon as they were done eating, apart from Dallas and Darry. Darry got up when the phone rang, then disappeared after that.

"You ready to go? Fuckin' idiots are watching Mickey Mouse." Dallas scoffed.

I looked at the mess on the table. "I mean, we can go if you want. I feel bad, though. Let me clean some of this first."

"Come on, Darry's got it. Let's go." He went into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette.

"No, just let…" I stopped talking once I saw Dallas throw his cigarette on the ground and walk out of the kitchen. "Well, alright." I rolled my eyes, then bent down and picked up his cigarette.

"How do you deal with that?" Kathy asked.

I threw his cigarette in the trash can, shrugging my shoulders. "Couldn't tell you."

"I've seen you at school before. Soc?" Sandy said, eyeing me up and down. I got annoyed.

"Guess so."

"So, how long have you and Dallas been dating?" Kathy asked.

"About a month."

"He doesn't, ya know, scare you?" Kathy asked again.

I shook my head. "No, why? Does he scare you?"

She smiled. "To death. If he wants to call me Carly, he can call me Carly. I ain't gonna be the one to correct him."

"Naw, he ain't so bad. You're beloved Two Bit got himself into a heap of trouble for vandalism one time, and Dally took the blame and got himself hauled off down to the station." Evie said, while grabbing plates off of the table and putting them onto the counter so Sandy could wash them.

"Did not. That never happened." Kathy remarked, defending Two Bit.

"It did so. I was there. I saw it."

Kathy rolled her eyes. "Sure, sure. Just like that time you swore you saw Elvis gettin' gas at the DX."

Evie crossed her arms. "Well, it could've been him. How do you ya'll know it wasn't?"

Sandy wiped her hands on a dish towel. "Because, what would Elvis be doin' over here in this shit hole?"

I stayed quiet and did more watching then I did cleaning. They seemed to have it all taken care of.

"You either get in the car now or I'm leavin' without you."

I turned and saw Dally leaning against the door frame. I looked back at the rest of the girls who were all sitting at the table now. "It was nice to meet you all." I smiled at them, then turned around.

Dally wrapped his arm around my neck as we made our way out of the kitchen. "Hey, Johnny." He reached into his front pocket and pulled out an unopened pack of cigarettes. "Happy birthday, kid." He threw the cigarettes at him, then started walking towards the door. "Come here a second." He called over to Johnny. Both me and Johnny followed Dally outside onto the porch.

"Here," he dug into his pocket again and pulled out a switch blade. "I got you this."

"Shoot, Dal. You didn't have to do that."

"You keep that with you now, you hear me? Just incase someone pulls a blade on you and I ain't around."

Johnny's cheeks got red. "I ain't a kid, Dallas. I can take care of myself. I'm 16."

"Just keep it with you, will ya?"

"Yeah, of course Dal." I watched the way that Johnny looked at Dallas. It was like the way that I looked at my brother when he gave me my Grandfather's watch for my birthday one year. My Grandpa had given my brother his watch as a birthday present, but when my Grandpa died I was a wreck. It was that year that my brother wrapped up his old watch and gave it to me. It was the only thing I had of my Grandfather's to hold onto. I thought that my brother was the best person for giving me it.

"Happy Birthday, Johnny. I made you cookies but they're all over the floor of Buck's car and I don't want you to get sick, so it's probably best if we leave them there."

"Yeah, good idea. Thanks anyway."

"Go back inside and watch Mickey. I'll see ya later, alright?"

"Yeah, sure. See ya'll later."

I turned around and started trailing behind Dallas towards the car. He went to the passenger side and opened the door, but as soon as I went to get into the car he slammed it shut. I pushed him while he laughed at himself.

"Asshole." I mumbled as I opened the door for myself and slid into the car. "You guys do that a lot?" I asked as he turned the car on.

"What? The dinner thing? Nah. Only for Johnny. His dead beat fuckin' parents probably don't even know it's his birthday, and if they do, his present from his Dad is probably a whipping with a belt."

"They beat him?" I thought about how young and innocent Johnny looked.

"Real bad. I would kill em' if Johnny let me."

"You really care about Johnny, huh?"

"Yeah, yeah. Kids like my brother." Dally put the car into park outside of my house.

"Probably not a good idea. If my Dad sees you, or my brother I…" I felt his lips crash onto mine. I only let the kiss go on for about a minute before I pushed him away. "I gotta go." I opened the car door.

"Don't." His hand was around my wrist.

"I don't want my Dad to see us."

He took his hand off my wrist. "Alright, shut the fuckin' door then. Go inside to Daddy."

"Why are you getting mad? My Dad will kill me if he…"

"No, I get it. Can't been seen with a hood, huh?" He started the car. "Too good for me."

"Oh, shut up. You know that that's not true."

"If that's not true, then why do you walk around with my necklace tucked into your shirt?"

"Because it'll make things too complicated right now, and I…"

"Shut the fuckin' door." He almost screamed at me. "Sorry I'm not good enough for you."

I rolled my eyes, then slammed the door as hard as I could. "Go have your fucking pity party somewhere else." And with that, he drove off.

I stormed into the house, slamming the front door behind me. I started making my way towards the stairs, when I noticed my brother sitting at the kitchen table. I stopped, turning towards him. "What are you doing?"

"No, Nicole. The question is what are you doing?" My brother said.

"Huh?" I asked, scrunching my nose up.

"I"m not dumb. I knew that that was Dallas Winston in that car outside."

Fuck. "He was just…uh…" I was at a loss for words. I knew I wasn't gonna be able to lie myself out of this one.

"Just don't tell Dad, okay?" I pleaded.

"I already did. As soon as he got home I told him. I told you, more than once, not to get involved with him."

"Why the fuck would you tell Dad? It's none of your business!"

"I had to tell him! You don't listen to me, I figured you might listen to him. But i'm sure I'm wrong about that. You don't listen to anyone! You know everything already, don't you?"

"At least I'm not a judgmental asshole like you are, Paul."

"Judgmental?" He stood up while he screamed at me. "You don't know a thing about those Greasers. They're dirty, no good bastards."

I slammed my right hand down on the table, using my index finger on my left hand to point at Paul. "You don't know anything about them. They're better than you are. They work for everything they have, unlike us. They only beat you assholes up because you jump them for no reason."

"They're so good, huh? Last year at the Dingo, a girl got shot by one of them. Shot."

I wasn't expecting him to say that. "Well…"

"Well nothing, Nicole! Your head is so thick, you won't listen to anyone!" He picked up a glass cup that was on the table and threw it at the wall hitting a clock, shattering both of them.

"Hey!" We heard from the hallway. "What was that?" My Dad walked into the kitchen.

"I threw a glass cup at her head and it shattered, cause her head is so fucking thick!" My brother screamed at me.

"I don't give a fuck anymore! I'm dating Dallas Winston, and I have been for a month now."

"It stops here. You don't see him again, do you hear me?" My Dad scolded.

"How are you gonna tell me who I'm allowed to see?"

"By the time you're allowed out of your room, he'll probably already be in jail doing 25 to life. You're grounded until I say otherwise. I hope you enjoy your bedroom walls because that's the only thing you'll be looking at for a while."

"You know who's walls I like? Dally's. I like his ceiling the most though, but that's probably because I'm always on my back staring at it!" Dally and I hadn't had sex yet, we've come close, but we haven't actually done it. I only said it because I knew it would piss my Dad off.

I saw my Dad's arm raise, ready to back hand me. I waited to feel his hand meet my cheek, but it never did. I opened my eyes and saw Paul grabbing his arm, pulling it back down to his side.

"Get out." My Dad pointed his finger to the door. "I didn't raise you to be like this. No daughter of mine talks like that. Out!"

I looked from him to my brother. He didn't look mad anymore, he just looked disappointed. I turned around and walked out of the house, closing the door behind me. I felt a tear slide down my cheek, but I quickly wiped it away. I wasn't upset about being kicked out of my house; I was upset because I disappointed my brother.

I walked to my cousin's house and tried opening the door. I knocked and waited for about five minutes before giving up and walking down the stairs and off of the porch. Of course the one time when I needed a place to stay, her door was locked. So, I decided to walk to the only other place I could think of: Buck's. I had just turned onto Prospect when I heard a voice behind me.

"Where ya headin'?"

I sighed, then turned around and saw Tim Shepard.

"To Buck's, I guess." It wasn't until I talked that I realized I had been holding back the waterworks. I blinked away the tears.

"You guess? You goin' there or not?"

I nodded my head and continued walking.

"Well, so am I." Tim said, falling into step next to me.

"Cool." I choked out.

"So, how's things with you and Ol' Dally?"

"Fine." I turned my head to the side, not wanting him to see that I was attempting not to cry, and failing at it.

Luckily, we were only a house away from Buck's. Tim stayed silent the rest of the way, probably getting the hint that I didn't want to talk to him right now. He held the door open for me as I scanned the room for Dally. I didn't see him anywhere, so I went upstairs and turned right towards the room that he stayed in. I opened the door and saw Dallas sitting on the side of the bed with his head in his hands. I didn't even say anything, I just started crying. He looked up at me, raising his eyebrows. I looked at his face; he had been crying too. I walked over and knelt down in front of him, taking his face in my hands and wiping the tears off of his face with my thumbs.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head out of my hands and wiped both eyes off with the back of his fist. "Nothin', nothin's wrong."

"You're crying. Something's wrong."

"So are you. What's your problem?"

"My brother hates me."

He wiped his nose on the top of his shirt. "What do ya mean?"

"I just got kicked out of my house. Dad found out about you. I feel so shitty. I've never seen my brother look so disappointed in anyone or anything before. " I got up and shut the door once I heard a pair of footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Shit." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

I walked over to the bed and threw myself on it. "Why were you crying?"

He laid back next to me. We were both staring at the ceiling like it was the night sky. "I don't know. I do it sometimes, I guess. Shit just catches up with me."

"You ever think about killing yourself?" I asked him.

He shot up. "Why?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I dunno. Just wondering, I guess."

"You ever thought about it?"

I nodded my head. "Once or twice."

He laid back down next to me. "Me too. I don't tell anyone that though; wouldn't want Johnny to hear me talkin' like that. I heard him say something about killing himself once, and it took everything in me not to go to his house and beat the tar out of his no good parents." He turned his head towards me. "You want me to go to your house and beat the tar out of your no good parents?" He asked, a crooked smile appearing on his face. I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks. I knew that I was blushing. It was that moment when I realized that I was falling, or might have already been in love with Dallas Winston.

"No, I don't want you to do that."

He rolled over and propped himself up on his elbow. I felt his hand on my cheek. "You sure you're alright?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I'm just tired."

"We can go to sleep…or we could do somethin' else that involves a bed." He winked at me.

"I would prefer to just go to sleep, but thanks for the offer." I crawled to the top of the bed and slid under the blanket.

"Relax, I was just kiddin'." I watched him sit up and pull his shirt over his head, before crawling under the blanket and laying next to me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer, then started running his fingers through my hair.

"You keep doin' that, I'll be asleep in a minute."

"Good."

After about five minutes, I started dozing off to sleep.

"I love you." I heard Dallas whisper in my ear, before kissing the top of my head. I didn't know if I should say anything back, or just pretend that I was sleeping like he probably thought I was. I gave it about ten minutes before saying anything.

"Dallas?"

"Hmm?" He said, sleepily.

"I love you, too."

I felt his arm tighten around my waist. "Why?"

"Why what?" I asked, confused.

"Why? Why do you love me? I don't get it."

"I don't know. You seem like a cocky asshole, but you're not at all, really. People are so scared of you, but I just think you're misunderstood."

He let out a quick laugh, but I continued. "I mean, I guess you are pretty scary. I wouldn't wanna fuck with you. But I saw tonight how much you care about Johnny, and Steve's girlfriend told me about how you took the blame for something that Two Bit did tonight, and I don't know. I admire you, ya know that? You can take care of yourself, which is something that I probably couldn't do. I haven't told you this, but I used to see you walking around town by yourself and you just looked so lonely. I wanted to walk up to you and give you a hug."

"Good thing you didn't do that. I probably would've knocked your teeth out. But you don't give yourself enough credit. You can handle yourself better than the rest of those people you're friends with. Shit, those pricks probably can't even wipe their own asses. You ain't like them. You ain't like anyone I know, actually."

"What do you…"

"Shh…enough sappy shit. Go to sleep."

"Play with my hair again?" It was more of a demand than a request. Without saying anything, I felt his fingers running through my hair.

"I can't believe I just told you that I fuckin' loved you, Jesus Christ. I must be losin' my damn mind." I could feel his breath on the back of my neck as he talked.

I pulled the blankets up around my neck. "No, shh. No more sappy shit, Dallas. Go to sleep." I said, mimicking him.

"One more thing. I'm real sorry about you bein' kicked out cause of me. You sure you still wanna…"

"Shut up, you're worth it. You're in a really sensitive mood tonight, huh? If I wasn't so tired I would probably take advantage of it."

"I'm not fuckin' sensitive. Go to sleep."

That was the first time where Dallas let his guard down in front of me. I wondered why he wasn't like that more often. He was a real likable guy when he was being nice, but I guess that's not how he wanted people to see him and I don't think people wanted to see him that way either. I think that it was easier to be scared of him than it was to actually try to understand why he acted the way that he did.