Take Me Back to Where We Started

I woke up the next morning to the smell of smoke and cheap cologne. Maybe my brother was right, I thought to myself. It did smell pretty cheap. Everything always seems fine when you first wake up, until you remember that you have a paper due in a day and you didn't even start it, or you just got kicked out of your house and your brother hates you. Then, your stomach feels like it drops and you have the sudden urge to hoist open the window and throw yourself out of it. At least, that's how I felt. I rolled onto my back and noticed that Dallas was awake.

"How long have ya been up?" I asked him.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. Ten, fifteen minutes maybe?"

"Oh." I sighed, absentmindedly playing with the tag sticking off of the cheap blanket that was covering me.

"How ya feelin', kid?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Really?" He asked, sounding surprised. "I thought you would feel like fuckin' shit; gettin' kicked outta your house and all."

"Yeah, no. It feels great, really. Now, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Do I go home? I can't live in one outfit for the rest of my life."

Dallas got up, grabbing a pair of jeans off of the floor and putting them on as he talked with a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth. "You're gonna go home, grab a bag and fill it with clothes. It's a good thing your cousin lives over here, else you would be stuck here at Buck's."

"Thank fucking Christ she does." I got up and threw the blanket, semi-neatly, over the bed.

"What are ya doin'? Just leave it. I never understood why people make their beads. Ya just get in it the next night and fuck it all up again. Stupid."

"That's not exactly what I would call making a bed…but, okay." I said to myself as Dallas turned and walked out the door. I stood there for a couple seconds, before I heard him yell from the hallway.

"Let's go!"

I put my shoes on my feet and made my way out of the room and down the stairs. I watched as Dallas argued with Buck for a second, before Buck reached into his back pocket and handed him a set of keys.

"You're a fuckin' mooch, kid." Buck said, wiping his hands on a towel.

"I only mooch cause ya let me." Dallas retorted as he walked towards the door. He turned and looked at me. "Well, you wanna stay here and help Buck clean up this shit mess, or are you gonna get your feet movin' and come with me?"

Without saying anything, I walked out the door and over to Buck's shitty ass car, which Dallas was already sitting in. I got in and closed the door, or at least I thought I did.

"Not shut. Open it and close it again." Dallas demanded.

I opened it and this time I slammed it shut, but the seatbelt got caught in-between the door and the car. I swung the door open again, kicking it with my foot, then slammed it closed. Of course it didn't shut again because the seat belt was still in it, so I kept opening it and pulling it closed as hard as I could.

"Holy fuckin' hell, what are you doing? The…the seatbelt…" Dallas said in between the door slams. "The fucking seatbelt is caught in the fucking door!"

I slammed it shut one more time before throwing my head back onto the head rest. "I know." I choked out. One, I was out of breath from slamming the door, and Two, I could feel myself losing it and I was trying to choke back the tears. "I know the seatbelt is stuck." I kicked open the door again, then pulled the seatbelt into the car, before I actually shut the door this time. I rested my elbow on the door, then put my head in my hand. "Stupid fucking seatbelt." I started to cry.

"Jesus Christ almighty. You on your period or something?"

I turned my head to look at him, then punched him in the arm. "Don't fucking ask that. And no, I'm not. I just got kicked out of my house, I have nothing, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, my Dad wants nothing to do with me…" I trailed off.

"Alright, alright. Relax. You're preaching to the fuckin' choir with all of that. Everything's gonna be alright, kid. I promise. Except for that car door, since ya just kicked the shit out of it."

"Why do you call me 'kid'? I'm two months older than you."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Term of endearment." He smiled to himself. "You want me to take you to your cousins?"

I used the back of my hand to wipe my eyes, then my nose. I guess Dally's "term of endearment" was pretty appropriate, because I really felt like a kid then. He started driving, then looked over at me.

"I was just gonna reach over and hold your hand, but now that you got your snot all over it, forget it."

"Six." I said, ignoring his comment. "You've blown six stop signs." As I was staring out the window, I reached over with my left hand and wiped the back of it on his arm. I turned to look at him. "Snot's off. You can hold it now."

He ripped his hand off of the wheel and started rubbing his arm. "That's fuckin' gross."

I smiled. "Come on," I said, reaching for his free hand. "Hold my hand!"

He jerked his arm all over the place trying not to let me grab his hand. "No, they're clammy and covered in snot."

"They're not!" I grabbed his forearm with my right hand, then laced my fingers on my left hand into his. "There. Snot and clam free."

He finally relaxed, letting both of our hands drop into the middle seat. That only lasted for about a second, due to the red and blue flashing lights in the rearview mirror.

"Jesus Christ. What the fuck? I was barely even goin' 50." He elbowed the car door.

"Yeah, 50 would be fine if the speed limit wasn't 25." I slouched down in the seat, crossing my arms.

"Shut up." He said without looking at me. "I ain't got the money to pay for no god damn ticket. Pretend you're givin' birth or somethin'."

I looked over at him. "Are you handicap? Do I look pregnant?"

He watched in the rear view mirror as the cop approached. "Fine, fine. Act like ya got a bad stomach ache. Come on, help me out here."

I slouched down further and wrapped my arms around my stomach.

"You know how to read, son? The speed limit is 25, and you…" My heart stopped as I heard the cop approach the car. I knew that voice.

"Shit." I heard Dally mumble. He recognized the voice too. I looked over at him nervously. "I…I don't know."

"I should've known…" my Dad's attention shifted from Dallas to me.

"Hi…I…" I tried forming a sentence, but nothing came out. Hell, I didn't even know what I was trying to say, but I felt like I had to say something.

My Dad eyes dropped back to his pen and paper. He quickly wrote Dallas a ticket, then threw it in onto his lap. I looked down at my hands that were resting on my lap as my Dad walked away. I could feel Dallas staring at me.

"Hey!" The car door opened, and Dallas was no longer sitting down. "You don't gotta…"

I pushed myself across the seat and reached out of the car and grabbed his arm. He looked down at me. "Don't. Just let it go."

My Dad was already over the whole situation, seeing as how he was already in the car with the door closed.

"Come on." I pleaded as I tugged on Dally's forearm.

He got back in the car and slammed the door shut, then turned to me and grabbed my face with both of his hands, pulling me towards him until my lips were on his.

"Father's are all the same." He said, still holding my face close to his. "They're all shit heads, all of 'em. Ya just gotta forget about them, that's all." He kissed my forehead, then let go of my face. I sat back onto the seat as he started the car. "They just fuck you up, that's all they're good for."

"I'm fine. I'm used to him not talking to me. The only reason I'm so upset over all of this is because of my stupid brother."

"The only good father I know was the Curtis' old man." Dallas reached down and grabbed my hand. "Don't get used to this whole 'hand holdin' stuff, by the way. No holding hands in public. That should be written in the fucking constitution."

I stayed silent until we pulled up in front of my cousins house.

"Thanks."

"Anything for my girl."

"How sweet." I lightly slapped him on the cheek before giving him a quick kiss on the lips. "Come back later and I'll let you know how everything goes."

He nodded. "Of course. Good luck with all that, and be careful. You let me know if that old man of yours lays a finger on you, you hear me?"

I got out of the car. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say." I shut the door and Dallas smiled.

"Congratulations. You managed to close the door without fuckin' beating the shit out of it."

"Only took me about 37 times." With that, I turned around and walked to the front door.

"I'll be here around seven." Dallas yelled from the car.

I opened the front door and walked inside.

"Krys?" I called into the house.

"In here!" She called back.

She was in the living room on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket with a book. I walked over and sat down at the other end of the couch and threw the blanket over my legs. "I'm following in your footsteps."

She took her head out of her book, taking her glasses off of her face and putting them on her lap. "Whataya mean?"

"I got kicked out last night. My Dad found out that I was dating Dallas. Told me to get out. I just saw him and he barely even looked at me."

She sighed heavily. "Now, I'm not going to tell you that you should break up with him or that your Dad is right, but I'm also not going to tell you that what you're doing is smart. Trust me, it's hard living like royalty one minute, and the next minute you're creeping around the kitchen with a frying pan looking for roaches. No matter what happens, you are more than welcome to stay here, you know that, right?"

"Well, good. Because I was planning on staying here whether you were gonna let me or not." She smiled, then kicked my leg.

"Dallas Winston, huh? Boy, you sure know how to pick 'em."

"What? You know him?"

"Nicole, you don't have to know him, to know him. I read the paper. I see his name in there all the time. Complete opposite of the boys you used to go out with."

"Oh, come on. You know how it goes. You don't date someone because you like them, you date them because you look good with them. The whole thing is a popularity contest."

"Fucking Soc's." She said, smiling. "You don't have to tell me about that. My whole marriage was basically a popularity contest. My Dad and his dad are two of the most respected men over there. It was only right that their children got married." By over there I knew that she meant the South side of town. That's how it was over there. Your friends tell you you look good with someone, and BAM, you're dating them. Or in my cousins case, you're married to them.

"Enough about that. How is Dallas Winston?"

"He's fine. He just dropped…"

"No, no. That's not what I mean. How is he?" She winked at me.

"Oh, Jesus, Krysta. I don't know. We haven't…got that far yet."

"Have you seen it yet? Is it big?"

"No, I haven't seen it yet, but there was one time when…" I stopped myself. "No, I'm not telling you that."

"What? You gave him a hand job? How middle school of you." She smiled at herself.

"Didn't I just say that I haven't seen his dick yet? How could I give him a hand job without seeing it? All I'll say is that I think it's big."

"Alright, alright. Well, when you find out, let me know. Always a let down when a guys police record is longer than his penis. Like Tim Shepard. Ya know him?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I know him. You didn't…"

"I did. Very drunk time in my life. Also, a very big let down, if you know what I mean."

"He has a small dick? I'll have to tell Dal that one."

She threw the blanket off of her and stood up. "You want some lunch?"

"Nah, I'm alright." I was surprised that I wasn't starving. I hadn't eaten all day. Even though I wasn't eating, I followed her into the kitchen and sat down at the table. "What do I do now? I have to get all my shit out of the house. Do I just show up, or do I call?"

"Call." Her head was in the refrigerator as she pointed over to the phone.

I sighed, then got up and walked over to the phone. I figured now would be as good a time as any, since my Dad was on duty. I dialed the number and held my breath, hoping for my Mom to pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard her voice.

"Hi, Mom."

She choked in a breath. "Oh, Nicole. Where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm at Krysta's."

"Good, good. Look, your Dad was just very upset last night. I had a long talk with him and I told him that he would not push my only daughter away from me, no matter what. I want you to come home for dinner tonight."

"I can't do that. I'm not breaking up with Dallas, and Dad said…"

"Well, I said that I want you home tonight, and I want you to bring this Dallas of yours with you."

My breath caught in my throat. "You…you what? He was already there once for dinner and it didn't go very well."

"Well, that's because your brother and father were here. It'll just be me tonight. He can't be all that bad if you like him this much, can he?"

Yes, Mom. Yes he can. Call down to the station and ask to see his file. "No, I guess not. What time is dinner?"

"Five. I'll see you then, sweetie."

I hung the phone back on the wall, then leaned up against the refrigerator. "She wants Dally to come over for dinner tonight. Jesus."

"Your mom is a sweetheart, of course she wants him to come over." My cousin said with a mouth full of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Shit, I wish I had the number to Buck's. You don't have it, do you?"

She sighed. "Yeah, I got it. I'm telling you, I was drunk for about a month and a half."

"You didn't. You hooked up with Buck? That's gross." She ignored me and fumbled through one of the draws until she pulled out a small, crumbled up piece of paper.

I went back over to the phone and dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Is Dallas there?"

"Depends. Who's askin'?"

"Buck, just give him the damn phone."

"Yeah, yeah. Wait a second…Dallas!"

"What's up?" I couldn't tell if it was still Buck on the phone or if it was actually Dally, even though they sound nothing alike.

"Dal?"

"Yeah. Everything alright?"

"Shit, I don't know. But, it looks like we're going to my house for dinner tonight."