I Won't Let Go

December 24th 2012

I spun around at the sound of my name my hand quickly dropping from my head so my dark strands fell to my shoulders and I gnawed on my bottom lip viciously a heat spreading across my cheeks as I looked at the seven friends in front of me, my heart hammering harshly against my ribcage but I fought against my urges to run and hide instead I smiled through my overwhelming feeling of shock.

“H-Hi guys,” I stuttered scanning between all of them, the surprise evident on their faces caused me to blush harder. There was one face that made my stomach turn painfully.
Louis.

His face was as white as a sheet and his eyes were the size of saucers. I gripped at the white silk lifting it so I could gracefully descend the podium exposing my tattered converse causing a few chuckles to rumble between the boys.

“Nice shoes A,” I giggled watching Zayn as his eyes flicked from my shoes to my face. He knew how to cut through the tension and lighten the mood a little more.

“I know they suit so well don’t they?” sarcasm dripped from my words. I was about to talk when Iris interrupted me coming up behind me.

“Would you like me to help me with the gown?” she asked in a whispered tone. Turning slightly I nodded my head.

“Yes, please.” She smiled warmly and I turned back to the clan,
“I’ll be right back,” with that I followed the elder woman into the change room taking a deep breath as she began to loosen the laces around me.



Once the garment was gone and I had changed into my normal attire I stepped out from behind the curtain smiling and walking over to the four boys who were seated on the one of the lounge like chairs. Sighing dramatically I fell on them stretching my body across their legs my head resting in Liam’s lap.

“So what are you lot doing in here?”

“We could ask you the same question,” Harry’s deep voice rumbled causing me to chuckle.

“Trying on clothes of course.” I sassed making Niall break out into a fit of laughter, “And you?” I asked again.

“Liam’s getting married,” I heard the happiness in Zayns’ voice snapping my eyes up I looked at Liam. I was stunned into silence for a few moments before speaking.

“Are you shitting me?”

Liam’s cheeks flushed and he shook his head no, I screamed excitedly before reaching up and grabbing him around the neck drawing him close to me, to happy to realize how awkward it might have been for him and his sitting position.

“Congratulations Li-Li,” I squeezed him tightly causing him to chuckle in my ear. “Oh my gosh, that’s amazing news… I have to go hug the shit out of Dani, be right back.” I rolled off of the boys landing on my knees before jolting into a standing position, “I’m okay, just incase you cared,” I stated winking, “DANI!” I screamed before running around the chair and over to the curly haired brunette and pouncing on her causing her to laugh.

“Congratulations beautiful girl, oh my gosh show me!” I grabbed her hand as she giggled. When I saw the stone I nearly fainted.
“Sweet Mother of pearl!” I exclaimed as I gazed at the piece of jewelry. The asscher cut diamond was exquisitely set into a sterling silver clasp with two simple studded diamonds cast either side of it. “LIAM!” I screeched, “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” tinkling laughter rang from the three girls at my question. “Dani that’s gorgeous, I mean wow,” I complimented but I really had no idea of what else to say.

“I know, I’m a lucky girl,” she giggled giddily.

“Damn straight you are! I want to ask when the wedding is but I am assuming you have no idea.”

“April twenty-first next year, a spring wedding.”

“Wow, that was quick,” I laughed.

“Well I have been planning my wedding for a while,” she smiled. I smiled back at her and nodded my head scanning around the room my gaze shifting between Dani, El and Perrie. I spun around when
I noticed Louis wasn’t in the shop.

“Well you girls start looking and I’ll be back,” smiling I turned and walked back to the boys. Leaning down I whispered to them.

“Where’s Lou?” I asked kinda concerned, the way he looked earlier made me worried.

“Think he went outside.” Harry stated turning his head to look behind him.

Arching one of my brows I nodded my head patting Harry’s shoulder and walking toward the exit. Pulling open the door the bitter wind hit me harshly and I gasped at the sudden contact. I began walking along the street calling out Louis name. Coming to a stop when I found him seated down on a bottom step that lead into an apartment his head buried in his arms as they rested on his knees. Biting my bottom lip I tip-toed toward him debating whether to reach out and touch him or not.

“Lou?” I whispered as my hand came in contact gently with his shoulder. He winced away from my touch as if I was hurting him, a pang of pain surged through my chest causing tears to form in my eyes. “Louis,” I whispered so my emotion didn’t break through, Slowly I lowered myself so I was at his level. “Look at me,” I begged.

He shook his head no slowly not lifting his gaze from his knees, his face buried snuggly in his arms.

“Please,” I trailed my hand across his shoulder and down the length of his arm gripping firmly onto his forearm. I prayed that he would lift his head and just look at me, I had to tell him that I never meant for him to see me in that gown. It was just a coincidence, a bad one at that. I watched him swallowing my tears and waited patiently for him to move, just a slight movement, finally after a few moments he moved. Hesitantly he removed his forehead from his arms and lifted his head his cerulean irises locking with my dark ones. Red rimmed his eyes and tear tracks stained his cheeks.

“Louis….” I trailed off as I took in his broken state, it cut me up to see him like this and the fact that I had caused it only made me feel worse about myself. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t… I mean how was I supposed to know that you would turn up at…”

“Don’t be sorry,” his voice was rough from crying, “Don’t ever be sorry for that…” he trailed off as he stared at me intently.

“I just…” I began wanting to argue my point and tell him why I was wearing a dress but he stopped me.

“Avery, you looked beautiful… When I saw you in that dress I realized what I had lost.” My eyes averted from his as I looked down at the steps underneath the two of us. “I realized I hadn’t fought hard enough to keep you, and the one thing that kills me the most is that I broke the promise I made.”

“I haven’t exactly helped with the situation,” I admitted glumly. “I just didn’t want you to give up everything you have.” I paused and looked up at him, “ and if that meant management pulling you away from me then that’s how it goes.”

“I should have kept fighting, I should have made it clear that I didn’t, don’t want anyone else.”

“Louis, I know keep repeating this but maybe, just maybe if we both tried to let each other go things would get better, you never know you might grow to love El, she is a sweet girl and she loves you so much.”

“That’s what makes me sick, they are forcing me to love someone who I can’t. I can’t do it.” his voice cracked and he buried his face into his arms once again as a sob ripped through his body before falling from his lips.

“Have you tried?” it was a dumb question but I had said it before I could stop myself. His head snapped up, anger flashed through his eyes and I shuddered.

“Of course I have bloody tried, but it’s fucking hard when someone else is always on your mind, clouding your every thought,” he snapped and I caught the inside of my cheek between my teeth.

“I’m sorry.”

“No…” he sighed the anger vanishing from his tone. “I should be, I… just…” stumbling over his words he groaned irritably before reaching out and wrapping his arms around my shoulders drawing me close as he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck sighing deeply. Slowly I wrapped my arms around his middle snaking them up so I clutched the material of his jacket burying my face into the material closing my eyes.

We were swallowed into silence before I heard Louis and my name.

“What’s going on here?” quickly I pulled away from Louis and looked up staring at Zayn.

“A was just giving me a hug, not feeling too good.” Louis stated as calmly as he could for the situation. Zayn arched one of his dark brows skeptically before my phone vibrated in my pocket. Quickly I grabbed it out of the denim material and answered.

“Where are you?”

“Shit!” I cursed, “Coming now, I am so sorry lost track of time.”

“No, there’s no rush, I just wanted to thank you, the apartment looks amazing.”

Smiling at the compliment, “glad you like it… but seriously I am coming now.” with that I hung up and buried the device back into my pocket. As soon as I had the phone in my pocket I jumped to my feet.

“Well I have to get going…” with that I began to walk away but before I vanished completely I turned back and looked at Louis.

“Happy Birthday Lou,” I smiled before turning and walking back to Ritas’. A million thoughts racing through my mind.