Take One Last Breath

..::Austin’s POV::..

I just stood in front of my dad’s house. It was raining, freezing, windy, and it wouldn’t be long until low tide came upon Popham Beach and everything would smell like dog shit. I had my dad buried earlier today, because I just couldn’t be present for a funeral. I clutched the keys in my hand. How would I get through this? I had a few belongings of my father’s that I’d definitely like to keep, but I couldn’t face going in there. Not right now.

“Austine?” I heard a familiar voice behind me, and I turned around to see Basil in the passenger seat of her boyfriend’s car, “Austine is that really you,” she asked, looking at me up and down.

“Hey Basil,” I said, trying to sound as if I weren’t falling apart.

“Well I’ll be fucking damned. Holy shit, Austine,” she got out of the car, marching over to me, and bringing me into a hug, “I haven’t seen you in years. Where have you been? You just disappeared,” she let go of me, but still held onto my shoulders.

“Well after drug and alcohol rehab, I’ve been living in a halfway house,” I told her, trying to keep the venom out of my voice. Basil was my first best friend. The first person that has ever been absolutely real with me. Even now, I still completely trust her. But she was the one who introduced me to all of the bad things that I’ve worked so hard to stop using, and not use again. I could smell the alcohol on her breath, the feeling of nostalgia coming over me.

“Oh,” she said, looking guilty for a quick moment, “Well, now that you’re back, you’re not escaping. Matt and I are headed to a party, come with,” she said, pulling on my hand to follow her to the car.

“I’m not really dressed to go to a party,” I said, starting to panic. I hadn’t even showered.

“Alright. We’ll go back to my house, I’ll give you some clothes, alright? Just come on,” she said, and I got in the back of the car.

“Hey, Austine,” Matt said, before starting up the car again.

“Hey Matt,” I said awkwardly. He turned up the stereo, blasting Danzig through his speakers. The only way Matt and I were really friends was our taste in music. I always liked the music he brought to parties, he always liked the booze I brought, and everybody liked the drugs I had on me.

“So how have things been going?” Basil started with her series of questions, and I thought my head would explode. ‘What places have you been to? What jobs have you had? Have I been getting laid recently?’, a bunch of Basil like questions, as she had always been. I gave short answers, careful as to what I said. Soon we arrived at her house, and we all hopped out. I still clutched my dad’s keys in my hand. My combat boots squeaked as I walked through the rain and into Basil’s apartment. “Alright, come with me, and raid my closet. If you’re lucky, I just might let you keep somethinggg,” she sung the last sentence. I was halfway there when we picked through the clothes. It was settled on a pair of dark denim skinny jeans, that had multiple rips in them, some held together by safety pins, and a loose Misfits shirt. Apparently she just couldn’t get into the band. I went to take a shower, not really washing, or feeling the water. Basil might be back but….

…but my dad’s gone.

Every time I thought about that, I went numb. Soon, I turned the water off, just standing naked in the shower, being chilled by the cool air. I dried off and got dressed. Somehow, Basil managed to convince me to let her do my hair and makeup.

“This is a special party, apparently,” she told me, “some singer from a Swedish rock band or something is gonna be there,” she informed me.

“Finnish,” Matt corrected with a sigh.

“Swedish, Yiddish, what the fuck ever,” she said as she finished my eye makeup. I didn’t have the tears to cry anymore, so she didn’t have to worry about me messing her ‘artwork’ up. Then again, she didn’t even know why I was back, and that I wouldn’t be staying.

I left my boots pretty loose around my feet, and I was drug back out to the car. It had stopped raining by now, and it was kind of dark as well, “So, we’re going to Portland. The drive’s about an hour. Well, you know that, you grew up here. Monty’s going to be there as well, if you remember him,” she told me, and if I wasn’t already in a position that made me care less about everything, I would have broken down. I dated Monty for two years. I cheated on him for two years, even though I did love him. When he left me, he automatically became the bad guy. I was scared now, “By the look on your face, I guess you do remember him. Don’t worry, he brought you up a few weeks ago. Only had nice things to say,” she assured me, and I somehow wasn’t convinced.

“If by nice things you mean ‘fuckin’ bitch ripped my heart out, and used it as a condom for all the guys she fucked’, then yes, he absolutely still adores you, Austine,” Matt said, and I sighed heavily.

“We’ll just…help you avoid him. Nothing to worry about, don’t get so riled up. You’ll still have a good time, I promise,” she said, and this time I believed her. I knew I shouldn’t do what I’m about to. Walk back into the world that tore me apart, almost killed me, landed me in jail, broke my as a person. But I was broken now. Now I didn’t have anybody to disappoint. Then Kori came to my mind.

No, Kori’s a big girl who can handle herself. I can’t even count on all of my fingers and toes of how many guys she’s prevented of ever having children, or girls that aren’t mentally right anymore because of her. She won’t miss me, I’m sure. If I end up going back to my old ways, who knows where I’ll end up, if I don’t end up dead. The rest of the car ride consisted of things such as Basil singing horribly to all of the songs Matt was playing, and Matt trying to find a song that Basil knew absolutely none of the words to. I had nausea the whole ride.

I had goose bumps all over when Matt parked the car. I opened the door, standing awkwardly next to Basil, “You ready, Austine? You know you don’t have to do anything in there you don’t wanna,” she told me, and I nodded my head.

“We’ll just…see how it goes,” I said, and she nodded, grabbing my arm and pulling me to a huge house. It didn’t look like a party was being thrown in it, but then again, if there were drugs and alcohol, it would be good to not have an obvious party for the cops to show up at.

“Soundproof walls and windows,” she informed me as we approached. When she opened the door, the music was loud, and people were all around, dancing, making out, drinking, and being completely retarded. This was my whole teenage life. Right here.

“So, anybody else we know here, besides Monty?” I asked, and she shrugged.

“You never know. I might know half of the people here, but may have just been way too drunk to remember any of their names,” she suggested, and I nodded.

..::Bam’s POV::..

“I can’t get a hold of her, either,” I told Dunn, Hanna, Kori, Novak, Phil, April, Missy, and Knoxville. Knoxville shook his head, and Kori’s head was in her hands, “See, Novak. This is what happens when you try to have sex with people. They go missing. See what you did,” I said, and he looked at me with wide eyes.

“We only kissed, man,” he said defensively.

“I’m sure that’s a good story to tell the police when I call them over here, and tell them about you pulling out your dick and making Austin flee. You fuckin’ scared her off,” I teased further.

“Just stop,” Missy said, and I immediately shut up. I could see Kori smirking out of the corner of my eye. I wanted to punch her so bad right now, “She’ll call when she’s ready. Her dad died, so give her a bit of space. She may be crying her heart out right now,” she told us, and I could only feel myself getting irritated.

“Sorry,” I mustered, trying my hardest not to roll my eyes.

“We can’t just…I’m sorry, Missy, but, she’s my best friend. I don’t care if she’s crying away all of her bodily fluids, but if she’s missing, that’s not good,” Kori said.

“Why do you say that? You don’t know what she could be doing right now,” Missy challenged.

“She just got over a fucking addiction to drugs and alcohol. She probably decided to go to her dad’s house, stood outside because it was too hard for her to go in, got picked up by one of her no good fucking party raving asshole friends. She’s probably shooting up heroine right now, and you’re telling me to give her space? I know her better than any of you ever will. Until we get a hold of her, sure she’s not back in her old ways, you better fucking worry, because from what she’s told me, she’s not in a good emotional state when she’s drunk, or high,” she raged, and everybody was quiet. I don’t think I knew Austin had been addicted to anything.

“Whatever. Worry all you want, I’m going to get to sleep,” Missy stood up, and marched out of the room. I could see Kori tearing up, and I felt horrible for it.

“I….” she started crying.

“We know,” Hanna said as he rubbed her back in comfort. I felt a little twinge of jealousy.

“You know that I fucking hate that bitch,” she cried, then stood up, “I’m going to go ruin a room now,” she sniffed before she walked out, leaving us all.

“I think we’re going to head to bed as well,” April and Phil stood up, “You guys keep trying to get in touch with her, but make sure to get some sleep. If she doesn’t call or anything, you guys should go and find her,” she suggested. Then it was just Hanna, Knoxville, Novak, Dunn, and me.

“What the fuck are we going to do?” I asked.

..::Austin’s POV::..

I woke up, my head pounding the worst it ever has. I looked around to see I was in what seemed to be a private jet. There were a few men and woman around, but not many, and there was a man with a full set of long brown and curly hair sleeping on my shoulder. I examined him further until I knew who he was.

I was sitting next to the lead singer of HIM.

Then I wondered why I was in what seemed to be a private jet with Ville Valo, his band mates, and their groupies. I moved my shoulder around a little bit, and his head shot up. He looked around, and then wiped the small amount of drool off of his chin. He noticed me, and a smile spread across his face, “Hello, love,” he said.

“I have a headache,” I said, my voice making me sound obviously grumpy.

“We’ll get you some Tylenol. It’s no surprise you’re head’s probably pounding,” he said.

“Don’t say pounding. I’m going to pass out,” I said, leaning against the wall.

“I’m sorry, won’t say it again. You know, the word pounding. I won’t say pounding again because pounding seems to be a bad word for you,” he teased, and I just noticed how thick his accent was.

“If I wasn’t a fucking fan of yours, I’d throw you out of this plane. As a matter of fact, I still might,” I threatened.

“Throw? As in, throw up?” he asked, the smirk obvious as well.

“I despise you,” I said.

“As I was saying, it’s no surprise you have a headache. You were shitfaced last night,” he informed me, and I snorted.

“I wasn’t shitfaced,” I denied.

“You were throwing pineapples around yelling ‘SPONGEBOB, I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE SOMEWHERE’,” he informed me, mocking me voice, and waving his hands in the air.

“Damn. I was wasted,” I said, and laughed, “so tell me, Valo. Why the hell am I on a plane,” I asked.

“I guess you wouldn’t remember, which means you’ll probably take this a bit harsh,” he was beating around the bush, something I didn’t like.

“What the fuck did I do, tell me now, or you’re going off this plane, and you’re only getting a piece of toilet paper for a parachute,” I once again threatened.

“Well, we were both very drunk…” he continued.

“Valo,” I said in a threatening voice.

“Well, we got hitched in Vegas, and now we’re heading back to my house in Helsinki,” he informed me.

“Helsinki as in Finland Helsinki?” I asked, feeling the contents of whatever I didn’t eat starting to come up.

“Yes,” he said.

“WAIT, WE’RE MARRIED?” I got up, and was on the floor again because of my splitting headache.

“I guess now would be a good time for that Tylenol.”

©Shannon.