I'm On a Trip

Chapter 20

Several hours later and everyone was mucking around, playing their instruments, talking, laughing, chilling, just relaxing in general. I some how managed to bring up how my all time favourite instrument was an electric guitar and that I had never had the opportunity to learn it. And that's where I found myself now.

"I'll teach you!" Kennedy shouted across the room.

"Oh no, you don't have to," I smiled in reply, I didn't want him to feel as though he had to teach me because he played it and he happened to hear that I never had the opportunity to do it before.

"No I insist! It'll be easy for you to learn it's the same as an acoustic, just a different sound," he smiled, bringing a electric guitar which I assumed was his. He handed it to me so I held it just like I held an acoustic guitar.

"Come on then, what one of our songs do you want to play?" he reassured me.

And that's sort of how I first learnt to the play the electric guitar, well it was the same as an acoustic really, just a different sound. A sound I thought sounded really cool. We all learn something new everyday, whether it be a skill, a emotional or a detail about someone else. I just happened to learn something I had been longing to do for such a long time.

It had begun to get late and naturally we all got hungry so the guys ordered some pizza. An hour later the pizza arrived at the studio and we all grabbed a slice and tucked in. It was amazing to have no care in the world about what these guys would think about you because honestly they didn't care what you did they just cared about you in general, true friends. I knew I would probably never get the opportunity to come back here once I had to return to 'the family', so I would regrettably never see these guys I considered good friends of mine again, which saddened me, but I would never ever forget them. They made me feel special, except Sophie. It just makes me feel physically sick to think about leaving and when I found myself choking on a piece of pizza my thoughts immediately snapped out of my head.

"You alright?" They all asked in unison. I looked at each of them and nodded, not really wanting to think about it anymore, and continued munching on slice after slice of pizza with the guys.

"I'm stuffed!" I moaned, slouching in the chair, patting my stomach half an hour later. I couldn't stand another slice of pizza ever!

"At least you eat properly unlike some of these other girls, who take a few bites and say they're full when they're really, just worried about their weight," Garrett expressed his opinion.

"I can't resist food, it comes first!" I laughed, there was seriously never make a model, one I was nowhere near pretty enough and two I couldn't starve myself also, I'm pretty sure they aren't that attractive when they are super skinny, I think a model should be someone who was a decent weight and had muscle! But that's my opinion anyway.

"We like you the way you are," Pat smiled running over, jumping on top of me and giving me a huge hug! Lucky we wasn't that heavy.

"Agreed!" Jared, Kenny, John and Garrett added before running over and jumping on top of Pat, crushing me at the bottom! Well I'm glad that they care but surely they can see that I'll have to leave at some point which will be heart breaking for me. I saw Arizona as my home, it was where my heart belonged. I couldn't see myself living anywhere else. I loved London, mainly for the few good memories I had there containing Daniel, Sophie and the gigs we attended, mainly together. But the city was mainly filled with bad, suffocating memories that I couldn't stand. Those memories surrounded around my family and losing my one love, Daniel.

I don't care whatever anyone says, we were young, yes but that doesn't mean we didn't know what love was, cause we did. At the age of 16, I had what I needed, someone to complete me and hold me together when I needed to escape my family the most, now I didn't have that so I fled from my family whenever I had the opportunity, hence the gap year, to travel! I have been pretty wrecked since then because he was my backbone.

"Ouch! Erm..do you want to get off me?" I moaned at them, I was struggling to breathe as it was!

They all gradually climbed off of me with a smile on their faces. Not too long later we went our separate ways, of course me going back to John's. I grabbed a glass of milk and sat it my room listening to some music while sending Sophie some messages. Of course I remained in touch with her the entire time she was away. I told her about my guy best friend, John, which she approved of, I told her pretty much everything, except this time it wasn't face to face I had to do it over the phone, which kind of depressed me but I didn't dwell on it too much!

It was around 9:00pm in the evening and I was quite content with spending the evening in my room, I was used to it back home so it made no difference to me, however my peace was interrupted when John poked his head around the corner and beckoned for me to follow him with a simple curl of his finger.

I obeyed him, following him straight into his room. No words were spoken between us as I took a seat on John's bed and he handed me a guitar, while he took another. Why he had two guitars in his bedroom, I don't know, but I didn't ask, I simply responded to him with a confused look.

Once he was sat opposite me on the bed, he spoke, "Let's play Into Your Arms together."

I shook my head as if to say no, but John protested, "Get it out of your system."

I agreed to this, I need to let something out as there had been a few times where I was thinking in too much depth bringing tears to my eyes which I fought back immediately. He began to strum along to the intro, and after the first 5 chords I joined in with him playing the same 5 chords. We played it in unison as he softly began to sing, but as soon as his voice broke out, the tears slid from my eyes.

I never stop looking into his eyes as I strummed along to the song with him, I could see pain in his eyes as though he had caused the pain in me but he hadn't, it showed he cared for me, but understood that I needed a release. I continued to stare at him while his gentle voice softly filled the room, but it wasn't an awkward stare it was a understanding stare, as though he could empathise with me.

As soon as the final chord was strummed, I was no longer lost in the moment, I stood up, placing his guitar softly on his bed before storming out of his room leaving him completely lost. I didn't understand how he could understand me so well when we had barely known each other for long, I guess it isn't a matter of time, it is a matter of care, love, trust and compassion. I didn't even bother to grab a coat, just slipped on my beaten up converse and made a run for it, to calm my nerves, to clear my head, to get things off of my head but also to consider friendships and relationships, cause they were extremely difficult things to judge.