Everything Better Plan

I woke up with a pounding head ache but other than that I was fine so I headed downstairs to make something for breakfast. I was stopped when I saw Zack's t-shirt on the floor and remembered last night. I hoped it wasn't going to be awkward if he was downstairs. I walked sleepily downstairs to be greeted by a note from Zack on top of a plate of pancakes, the note read:
Morning smelly,
I wanted to wait for you to wake up but I needed to go for a run before I go to band practice.
I made you breakfast, aren't I sweet.
Have a good day, love you x

I smiled at the note and started munching on my pancakes. I put the dishes in the dishwasher when I was finished and had a shower then got ready. I didn't really have anything to do today do I decided to text Alexis, my best girl-friend, and ask her to come to the mall but she was busy, as were Jordan and Ross my other guy-friends. I couldn't be bothered to try anyone else so I decided to spend the day taking pictures.
I grabbed my camera, a few lenses, my keys, my purse and threw them all in my bag and headed for my car. I drove the 20 minute drive to the forest I was headed to and parked my car next to the lake. I grabbed my camera and started walking, I took pictures of trees, birds, the waterfall, flowers, the lake, squirrels, pretty much anything I could get a good shot of. I was just about to take a picture of a little robin when my phone went off and scared it away. It was a text
To: Shay
From: Zack
Hey ass face - me and the boys are going for food, you in? x
I really wanted to go, I loved spending time with Zack and his band mates Alex, Rian and Jack but I was really getting good pictures and I didn't want to waste my opportunity to I text back:
To:Zack
From:
Busy at the lake, sorry x

Put my blackberry away and continued taking pictures for the next half hour.
I saw another robin perched on a branch of a cherry blossom, it looked so perfect there and I was about to take a picture when a masculine voice shouted"SHAAAAAAAAAY", it was Zack. I was actually really pissed at him for scaring away a bird for the second time today then I seen him and the anger melted away. Not only did he look amazing in his tight-ish t-shirt and jeans, but he had a picnic basket!
"Hey you" I said and I put the camera around my neck and walked over to him
"Well since you wouldn't come for food, I brought food to you" he said taking a blanket out the basket and putting it on the floor for us to sit on. I thanked him and sat down, excited to see what he had made us. Turns out he hadn't made us anything, he had gotten a KFC and put it in a picnic basket along with a few bottles of coke - even better!
"What'd you think?" he asked proudly
"You are the best friend anyone could ever ask for" I said, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. Boy he smelled good.
"This took a lot of effort you know" he laughed
"Yes, I'm sure it did" I said sarcasticaly while biting into a chicken leg.
"So how was band practise?" I asked
"It was good, we talked about you most of the time actually" he said, I suddenly grew very self conscious but I didn't want Zack to know that
"Oh yeah, what was said?" I asked trying not to sound bothered
"Ooh, someone's paranoid" Zack mocked, seeing straight through me
"I am not! I just don't like knowing I was the topic of conversation between four boys" I defended myself
"You mean three boys and a gorgeous man" he said confidently "You're right, Jack is so manly I can barely stand it" I joked, he faked being offended
"Seriously, what were you guys talking about?" I asked
"How amazingly brilliant you are" he said, flashing the hottest smile
"I'm never going to get it out of you am I?" I joked
"Nope" he said with a smirk
"Fine, I'll just ask Rian" I joked again
"Do it, he won't tell you either. So what you doing out here any ways" he asked
"Is it not obvious?" I asked wiggling the camera that hung around my neck
"Oh right, let me see them then?" he asked, he always took so much interest in my photography, it was so cute. I passed him my camera and he instantly knew what to do. It was sweet watching him look through the pictures, the way he smiled at the ones he liked and paid lots of attention to each one, that's why I love Zack, he's always so supportive of what I do.

"Come with me to the craft store?" I asked as he handed me back my camera and complimented me on the pictures "Ok, what do you want from there" he asked
"Stuff for Wilson's scrap book" I said. Wilson is my brother who died three years ago when he was shot after trying to stop someone from hurting me. It was a horrible day that I will never forget.
We went to the carnival with loads of friends, we're part of the same friendship group even though he's two years older than me, and we walked home together. He went into a store to get something and I waited outside. While I was waiting a man approached me and started talking to me, he was about 20 and was really intimidating so I tried to cut the conversation short. He didn't like the idea and dragged me around a corner and started touching me, I heard the shop door open and shouted for Wilson, he ran around the corner instantly and dragged the man off of me. I froze in my spot as Wilson started punching him, and in one horrible moment I heard it, I heard the bullet go through his stomach, the boy ran off and I dropped to Wilsons side, I called 911 and stayed with him until they came but they were to late and he bled out there and then, in my arms.
Tears streamed down my face as I thought about that horrifying night and Zack moved to be beside me, he hugged me and told me everything would be ok, but he and I both knew nothings ever been ok since the day Wilson died, and nothing ever will.
We sat at the lake for at least three hours talking about him, about how great he was, how much future he had ahead of him. Zack knows I'll never get over that night and knows how to deal with me when I get emotional about it, him and Wilson are the only two people who have ever known how to make me feel better when I'm sad, which is why Zack is so important to me.
"Right, let's go" he said standing up
"Where are we going?" I asked
"To the craft store remember" he said, helping me up, he collected our things and we walked back to my car as he had been dropped off here by the guys.
"Which store?" he asked, he was driving so I had time to cry to myself quietly
"The one next to Renny's burgers, he loves it there" I said without looking at Zack. I never use the past tense when I talk about Wilson, that's saying he's in the past but he isn't, he's always here with me. Call me crazy but he'll be alive with me as long as I live.
We got the the store and I tried to fix myself up before going in but I still had puffy eyes and streaks down my face "You look beautiful" he whispered as we walked I to the store
"Hiya Shay, how you doing?" Dave, the store owner, who I've grown to get to know quite well due to my many visits to the store
"I've been better, just picking up some things for Wilsons book" I told him, he pushed me no further on the subject and let me get on with it. I got a basket and bought multi coloured tissue paper, glitter, new coloured pens and pencils, coloured card, glue, a new photo album and a few other things then I went to the photo printer in the corner of the store and printed of my photo's from today. When the pictures were printed I paid for my items and I drove Zack and myself home
"I'm not being rude but I kind of want some alone time" I said as Zack started following me up my driveway
"I totally understand" he said as he pulled me into a goodbye hug, his musculus, tall body felt so good against me I just never wanted to leave that spot. He ripped himself away from me and titled my head up so he was looking me directly in the eye
"If you need anything, call me straight away" he said and kissed me on the cheek. We went our opposite ways and I headed into my house, the door was unlocked which worried me slightly then I got in and saw three suitcases at the bottom of the stairs which must have meant mom was home.
"Mom?" I shouted but she didn't reply so I walked through to where the patio doors were and saw her sitting in a lawn chair with a glass of wine and a book, she looked so relaxed.
"Hey mom" I said walking over to her
"Hey honey! How have you been?" she asked "I've been fine, how was your business trip?" I asked
"Boring" she moaned, she was head of some fashion company but I don't know the details of what she does, to be honest I don't think she does either. All I know is that she stays up late planning presentations an writing documents of all sorts and no matter how much she complains she loves her job.
"What have you been spending my money on now?" she joked, she made a lot and wasn't bothered what I spent it on as long as it wasn't anything illegal or cigarettes
"Scrapbook stuff" I said, not expecting her to be interested
"Oh that's nice" she said nonchalantly while turning back to her book. I went to my room and got my Wilson scrapbook out of my cupboard and took it to my desk. Then I got the art station (basically a huge toolbox I filled with art supplies) I bought a few weeks ago and stocked in all my recent buys.
I looked at the front of the book. It was a brown leather book with white pages that were card, not paper. The front had a section for a picture, It took me forever to choose a picture but I chose the one of him in his football uniform, that was when he was happiest. The first page I had wrote 'I love you Wilson Green' in calligraphy, then there was about a million pages dedicated to different aspects of his life, him and mom, him and dad, all the stages of him growing up, his football, me and him, our favourite places to go, our favourite things to do, our best memories. Then I had a page dedicated to everything I'm sorry to him for;
'Wilson, I'm sorry for taking the attention from you, I'm sorry for terrorising you, I'm sorry for being a brat whenever you tried to help me, I'm sorry for causing arguments in the house, I'm sorry for never being grateful for the things you did for mom and me when dad was away. I'm sorry for letting you get yourself killed because I'm not strong enough to protect myself'
I read over the page and knew I was a horrible sister to him but despite all that he never gave up on me, he was an amazing brother, an amazing person.
The last double page was a picture of his tombstone and on the page next to it I had wrote:
"To Wilson, you always have been and always will be the most important person in my life. You were the father I never knew. You would do anything for anyone and the amount of people at your funeral proves how much you were loved. I would do anything to be able to tell you these things and it's horrible that I can't but I guess this is the closest I'm ever going to get to doing so, so here it goes. You are my world, the day you were ripped away from me truly was the worst day of my life. I will never forget you. You're not the person who will just slowly fade from me. You will always be in my heart and you know that. You were the perfect brother and I wish I could take back every little argument we ever had. I know I'm never going to be able to hear your voice or touch your skin again but you will always be there for me in my mind and that's something nobody can ever take away from me.
I love you so much big brother"
I read the message and burst into tears all over again. I curled up in a ball on my bed and cried myself to sleep.