Any Other Heart

I didn’t call my mum when we got to the hotel in Dublin, and I didn’t call her before the first Dublin show either. I made excuses, saying it’s busy and I didn’t have the time, but Harry kept giving me these looks, as if he knew I still hadn’t spoken to her. Eventually, when we headed back to our hotel, he pulled me aside. “Call her, Mia.” It was a simple command, but I still couldn’t bring myself to do it.

The rest of the Dublin shows ran smoothly and everyone was in high spirits, Lou especially. Tom was meeting us in Belfast with Lux, and he was staying out for a few weeks until the boys had time off. I couldn’t believe we already only had a little over two weeks and then time off. I felt like the tour was flying by.

The first Belfast show was a bit hectic, because we had to drive out of Dublin incredibly early and then go straight to the venue. We managed, of course, it was just a very long day.

The second Belfast show was better, but I blamed that on the fact that we all actually had a full night’s sleep. That, and Lou was all smiles because she had Lux practically permanently attached at her hip. Aside from when one of the boys had her, obviously.

Of course, it wasn’t just the lads fawning over her like their lives depended on it. I was guilty of it as well, taking her whenever Lou couldn’t or whenever Harry was getting dressed, or Louis was getting his hair done. I didn’t mind in the least. Lux was my favorite toddler around.

The sight of Lou with Lux made me think of my own mum though, and I knew what I had to do. So, while everyone was grabbing a bite from catering, I snuck outside and dialed my mum’s number. “Now or never,” I mumbled, listening to it ring.

I wasn’t entirely sure if she would answer. I mean, yes, she was my mum, but she was also stubborn as a bull. If she didn’t want to talk to me, then we wouldn’t talk and that was that.

So when she answered, I stumbled over my words a bit.

“Mum?”

There was silence at first. Maybe she was as surprised as I was. “Amelia?”

Her tone was softer than I had expected, so I couldn’t help but smile a bit. “Hi mum. I’m... I’m sorry I haven’t called. It’s just been really busy.”

She stayed quiet.

“I know you’re mad,” I continued. “And I’m sorry, I really am. But you should know that this is the best thing for me right now. I’m learning so much, and Lou’s amazing. I’m in good hands, I promise.”

Dead air.

I sighed. “I guess you’re still upset. There’s nothing else I can say though. I don’t regret this, mum, not for a second, but I do regret you being so upset with me.”

“Lou’s taking good care of you?” she said finally, making me smile.

“She is. Tom just came out today and brought Lux, so she’s all smiles. Everything’s good though, mum. I promise.”

She sighed heavily. “When will you be home, love?”

“A couple weeks. There’s a week off after the Birmingham show, and I’m coming home that night I think.”

“Suppose I’ll see you then? And call your brother, he’s worried. Thinks you’re upset with him.”

I assured her I would, and I assured her I’d call her again soon to let her know how things were going, and then we hung up. Not before exchanging quick I love you’s, which made me feel better. It wasn't much, but it was a start, and I figured that was all I could ask for.

***

The show itself went smoothly after that. It was a bit crazy with Lux running around, but thankfully Tom was there to help out. Nothing major happened aside from a few busted buttons on tops that Caroline assured us she coulc fix later that night.

We were all exhausted when we got back to the hotel, and as much as I wanted to stick around with Tom and Lou so I could see Lux, I felt like I was going to pass out.

I didn’t see them again until the morning, when I stopped over after having ordered myself some room service. The boys had the day off with some press later in the day, so we were free for the day and I was planning on spending most of my free time with my favorite toddler. Apparently I wasn’t the only one either, because when I got to Lou’s door, Harry was popping out of his room from across the hall.

He smiled as soon as he saw me. “Did you--”

“I called my mum yesterday, yes,” I said, cutting him off.

He couldn’t help but smile as he looped his arm over my shoulder. “That’s the spirit! How’d it go?”

I shrugged, thinking back to the phone call. “Better than I was expecting. She’s still not happy, but she spoke to me so I think that’s gotta be something, yeah?”

He nodded in agreement.

When Lou opened the door, all attention was diverted to Lux. Harry and I couldn’t help fawning over her like she was our own child. It was a little ridiculous, but she was a big part of our lives, respectively. Harry had been around since she was born and was her godfather. I hadn’t been, of course, but I’d been around almost as long and had spent almost as much time, if not the same, with Lux. That little girl had no shortage of love, that much was for sure.

"We were thinking of taking her down to the pool, if you would like to join us," Lou told us.

Harry agreed immediately. He told us he was going to change and he'd be right back. I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to spend time with all of them, even though the idea of strutting around in my swimsuit made me a bit queasy. I told Lou I'd be back though and went over to my room to change. 

I changed into my one-piece vintage style swimsuit quickly and then stood in front of the mirror with my hands on my hips. I wasn't overweight, but I certainly wasn't a size zero either. I had curves and I didn't have a flat stomach. It wasn't something I dwelled on normally, because I was happy with my body. Or as happy as any nineteen year old girl could be. I had my days of course, especially those days where Loren and I would be clothes shopping and I could’t find anything that didn’t make me look like a sack of potatoes while Loren would strut around in her knickers like it was nothing. She was tiny, I wasn’t, but it was something I lived with. I didn’t care normally, but this situation was anything but normal. I knew I’d have to go down to the pool with Harry and the entire time I wouldn’t be able to do anything but obsess over the way my suit clung to my skin in all the wrong places, or how normal girls would flaunt a bikini like it was nothing and I was stuck with my one-piece suit. So no, I wasn’t normally obsessed with my body, but as I stood in front of the mirror and inspected myself, thinking of how in a few moments I’d have to be around Harry in all his glory... I'm not sure I'd ever been so self conscience in my entire life.

I sucked it up as best I could though, slipped on the robe the hotel provided, and headed back to Lou's room.

***

The pool was pretty nice, actually. It was heated and closed off and pretty private for a hotel pool. There was also no one else there when we got there, which was a plus. Louis ended up joining us, which didn't surprise me in the least. I was glad though, because with him there I felt a little more comfortable, and by the time we got in the pool with Lux, my self consciousness had faded almost completely.

Harry kept doing this thing where he'd lift Lux in the air over his head and then bring her back in the water. Every time he did it, she squealed with joy. And every time she squealed, my heart melted a little more.

At one point, I was apparently too focused on Harry, because Louis swam over to me and splashed me . It wasn't a lot, but it was enough to distract me. "Close your jaw there, love," he said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes and splashed him back. "No idea what you're on about, Lou."

He just laughed. 

We were having a good time, enjoying the time to relax and spend time with Lux. When it was my turn to play with Lux, Louis was in front of me doing a hide-and-seek type thing in the water, where every time he surfaced he'd splash a little bit. This resulted in a fit of giggles from Lux, which in turn made me laugh like crazy every time.  I wasn't paying much attention to Harry, who seemed to be watching us with a smile. But then Lou was saying something about Harry's phone ringing, and he was out of the water within seconds. I watched carefully as he snatched his phone off the chair next to Lou and answered it, walking away from the pool for privacy.

"That was odd," I said, still holding Lux.

I was surprised when Louis agreed with me. "Don't think I've ever seen Hazza move so quick."

"His mum maybe?"

Lou shrugged. "Maybe. Or Gemma. Just seemed odd." 

I couldn't help but agree, but then Harry was hopping back into the pool with a smile on and the subject was dropped.