Any Other Heart

The next three shows of tour flew by and thankfully went smoothly. No more clothing racks were lost, no more mental breakdowns, and overall everything was going well.

The final show before the week long break was on Saturday in Birmingham. There was a matinee show, the night show, and then we were heading out.

Or rather, the lads were getting driven back to London to relax for the week and I was driving back to Holmes Chapel to see my family. I knew mum needed the extra hands at the bakery, and my brother was home for the weekend so I wanted to see him. Plus, I needed a break from everything.

I hadn’t talked to Harry since the Liverpool show. I was focused on doing my job and that was it. I helped him get dressed when needed, and while it was tense, no one said a word. Louis told me one night that was all I could do. I figured I would take the week off to try and figure out a better plan, but for now I was just going to do my job and do it well.

The matinee show went rather fast, and before I knew it the lads were all laying around in the fitting room in various states of undress, unwinding and trying to relax even though I was sure they were full of adrenaline. Lou and I were sitting in the chairs in front of the big make-up mirrors trimming our own hair, something we realized we hadn’t done in awhile. “I’m thinking of going back to purple,” Lou commented while I cut off my dead-ends.

I nodded. “I loved the purple. Wish I could pull that off.”

“I love your dark hair,” she said, stopping to look at me. “You should try a dark reddish-brown sometime though. Bet it’d make your eyes pop.”

I tucked the information away, deciding I would think about it. Maybe even stop at a shop when I got home. My heart clenched thinking of the time Loren and I had tried to put high-lights in our hair when we were 14 and stupid and we both ended up with a look that looked suspiciously like someone had dumped a bottle of tomato sauce on our heads. It was awful, but she had shrugged it off, got us both hats to wear until the semi-permanent dye came out, and everything was fine.

That was the worst part about the whole ordeal: not having Loren anymore. She’d been my best mate for years, and suddenly she just wasn’t. Loren was the only one I had in Holmes Chapel who knew my entire life, knew everything and anything about me. Loren was the one I had the memories with, the one I had most of my life connected to. It was so easy to see something and be reminded of her, and that was what was awful about it. I couldn’t just forget about her, and it hurt.

Lou must have noticed my sudden quietness, because she touched my shoulder gently. “You all right, love?”

Snapping back to reality, I nodded and smiled. “I’m fine.”

We went back to finishing our hair, and just as I was going to set my scissors down, my phone started buzzing on the counter. It was my brother. “Hello?”

“Mia? Where are you?” he asked, sounding frantic.

I could hear screaming girls in the background, and confusion covered my face. “I think the better question is where are you Matt?”

He groaned. “Trying to surprise my sister but it’s bloody impossible because she just had to go work for the biggest boy-band in the country!”

I was laughing as I leaped out of the chair and hurried through the venue, finding my way outside as quickly as possible. “Are you near the entrance? Tell me what’s around.”

So once I knew where Matt was, and once I was outside, I finally found him out in the car park, looking frustrated and maybe slightly horrified with the line of girls in the queue.

I didn’t even hesitate before I threw my arms around him. “What are you doing here?” I asked, laughter in my voice.

“Can’t a lad surprise his little sister?”

I drug him towards the venue and got us inside. “Well I’m glad you’re here. Now you can drive me home!”

He shoved me gently while we made our way towards the dressing room, both of us laughing. I was listening to a story about a recent mishap at the bakery and how my Papa had taken care of it (or tried to) when we reached the room and everyone was staring at us.

I introduced Matt to Lou and Caroline first, then the lads. I left Harry last, because he and Matt knew each other. He shook hands with all of them, even Harry, who acted like nothing was wrong. “How’s uni?” he asked my brother.

“Not bad. The bakery’s good, everything’s good. How’s touring? Taking over the world one pre-teen girl at a time, aye?”

Harry and the lads just laughed. They couldn’t deny it.

He caught up with everyone, and then I took Matt on a short tour around the venue and filled him in on my job and what I did every day.

“Lot of work, yeah?” he asked when we were making our way back to the dressing room. I had to start getting things ready for the night show.

I nodded. “It is, but I love it and I’m good at it.”

“I’m proud of you, kid,” he said, slapping a hand on my shoulder. I could only smile, because he was my big brother and hearing he was proud of me meant more than I could even say.

Matt hung out with the lads while I got things together, and then when the show was starting and they had to focus (or try to), I was going to send him out to watch the show but he wanted to stick around and see me work.

It was nice to have Matt around while I did my job so he could actually see first hand what I did day in and day out, but it was even nicer when the show was over and we were all ready to leave.

I said goodbye to Lou and told her I would see her in a week, and then I said goodbye to the boys. I hugged Louis last, when he walked out with Matt and I. “I’ll be back in a week,” I promised and he nodded.

“You’ll be fine,” he reassured me, whispering in my ear when we hugged so Matt wouldn’t hear. “I’m here if anything happens.”

I thanked him, kissed his cheek, and then Matt and I left.

Matt had a shitty little car that hardly ran back and forth from London and Holmes Chapel, but he made do. He claimed it was better than nothing, but I wasn’t entirely sure about that. I through my bags in the trunk regardless and climbed in, happy to be off my feet. “You have no idea how good it feels to be off for a week,” I mumbled, closing my eyes as I heard the engine (barely) roar to life.

Matt chuckled. “No, but I do know how it feels for it to be the weekend. Although that doesn’t mean much, because I have to go into the bakery in the morning, but still.”

“Hey, thanks for coming,” I said, touching his shoulder. “Really. I know it was kind of a pain, but you have no idea how nice it is to be riding home with my own brother so I can sleep in my own bed tonight.”

He smiled as we pulled out of the car park. “‘Course, Mia. You know, it was mum’s suggestion.”

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him. “What do you mean?”

“We were talking the other week and I reminded her you were coming home, although if I know mum she had it marked down on the calendar and was silently counting down the days. She said it would be nice for me to surprise you so you could get home easier, and that was that.”

I couldn’t hide my smile hearing that. I hadn’t spoken to my mum much since our last call, simply because I was busy and then with Loren... I hadn’t the time or energy. I couldn’t wait to get home then though. “Think she forgives me?” I asked Matt after some silence.

“She never didn’t, love. You know that, I know that. You just thought she did.”

I shrugged. Maybe he was right. Maybe she was my mum and there was no matter of forgiveness. Maybe I just needed to see her and everything would be fine. I hoped, anyways.

He drove in silence for awhile while I just took in the darkness surrounding us, the familiar drive that would bring us both home. The familiarity was nice, and missed.

“What’s going on with you and Harry?” Matt asked me suddenly, pulling me from my thoughts.

I couldn’t help but scoff. If only you knew, I thought to myself.

“So tell me,” Matt responded.

Apparently the thought hadn’t stayed in my head. I sighed and turned to him. “Nothing,” I said simply. I ignored the pull in my chest at the realization that that was the absolute truth and focused on my brother. “We’re... mates. Or something. I don’t know.”

I saw him nod while he kept his eyes on the road, and then he said, “Not that I’m the type to keep up on celeb gossip, but I happened to stumble upon an article the other day about him.”

I tried to focus on my heartbeat so that it would stay steady, but that was hard considering I knew where the conversation was headed. “Hmm, yeah? What about?” I asked, trying to keep my tone level and uninterested.

“Oh come off it, Mia. Harry Styles has a new girlfriend and she just happens to be your best mate, and you’re not going to speak a word about it?”


I made an unsatisfied noise and stared out the window, avoiding looking at my older brother. “Didn’t realize you cared so much about the dating habits of One Direction. I’ll keep you updated from now on,” I muttered, crossing my arms in front of my chest tightly.

“I care when it’s about the lad my baby sister just so happens to be in love with, yeah?”

I’d never moved my head faster than I did to look at my brother. “Excuse me?”

He rolled his eyes before he gave me a side-eye glance. “You’re transparent, Mia. Suppose that’s what happens when you’re the shy little girl from Holmes Chapel forced to work with her crush day in and day out, yeah? But aye, not my problem. More importantly, why didn’t you ever say something?”

I groaned, rubbing my face in frustration. “Can we not do this now? Jesus Christ, Matt, talk about intrusive, yeah?”

He barked out a laugh. “Not my fault it was practically written all over your face! Jesus Mia, you practically worshipped the lad when he worked with you. You had hearts in your eyes all the time.”

My cheeks burned. He was lying. There was absolutely no way.

“Why do you think mum’s been so upset, yeah?” he continued. “You were heading out for weeks to be around the boy you probably dreamt about, and she couldn’t do a bloody thing to stop you! That’s why she was upset, and if you didn’t realize that, well Jesus Christ Mia, you’re even more dense than he is.”

My jaw was on the floor of the car by then, my entire body flaming in embarrassment. “You’re joking?” I practically shrieked. “This is a bloody joke, yeah?”

Matt just shrugged. “Dunno. I mean, mum never came out and said it, but makes sense, yeah?”

I rubbed my forehead in frustration. “So you’re saying everyone knows?”

He shrugged again. “Dunno. Not like I sit around discussing your love life, yeah?” he said with a grin. I smacked his shoulder in response, which made him yelp. “I’m just telling you what I think!”

“Can we just... not talk about this right now? It’s a non issue anyways,” I muttered, turning my body away from him.

“Aye, that’s right. He’s with Loren now yeah? How’d that come about anyways? Did you bloody introduce them or something?”

I rolled my eyes but didn’t answer. Wasn’t like I had an answer prepared anyways, because I didn’t know myself.

“I saw her yesterday, speaking of.”

That caught my attention. I turned around to face him. “What? Where? Is she in Holmes Chapel?”

He shrugged. “I went to the bakery when I got home to give mum a break, and she stopped in shortly after. We made small talk, she asked how you were and then asked if you were coming home. Come to think of it, she was acting a bit off.”

I scoffed and crossed my arms again before turning away. “Slag’s often do, yeah?” I muttered.

“Did you two have a fight of something? She seemed keen on seeing you when you get home, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she stops by the bakery every day until she catches you.”

I shrugged but didn’t say anything.

“You did, yeah? What happened?”

“Nothing, Matt. Jesus, you’re worse than a girl right now. Come off it, yeah?”

“Fine!” he said and I heard the smirk in his voice. “You’ll tell me eventually.”

And he was right. I probably would. Wasn’t like I had people bursting at the seams to talk to at the moment, so my big brother would have to suffice. I sighed. “We’re... not speaking right now. She didn’t--she never told me she was dating Harry. Just showed up on tour, and voila, they’re together.”

Matt let out a low whistle. “Bit harsh, even for her, yeah?”

I gave him a funny look. “What?”

He shrugged. “You know what I mean, Mia. I mean, Loren was never a bloody brilliant friend to you. She was nice enough I suppose, but I mean Jesus, even Harry was better to you when he was at the bakery.” He shrugged again, glancing at me quick before looking back at the road. “I mean, in all honesty, I’d be glad if you two weren’t as good of friends now. You have people around you like Louis, who practically worships the ground you walk on and would take a bloody bullet for you if needed, and then you have Loren...” he trailed off. “Two types of friends, yeah?”

I had no idea what to say to that, so I just nodded and focused on the road.