Any Other Heart

I tried to shake off the Loren encounter, but couldn’t do it. I’m sure Matt knew something was off, but he at least had the decency not to say anything while we finished closing and he stayed quiet on the ride home.

We didn’t get home until the sun was starting to set, which I knew would irritate mum. I was in the middle of trying to formulate a lie for why we were so late when Matt spoke up. “You gonna tell me about it?” he asked, shutting the car off and turning to me.

I looked out the window and shrugged. “Don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh, bullocks Mia. You’re itching to tell someone, and I know you won’t tell mum about it so might as well spill now while we’re outside, yeah?”

“My best mate’s a slag, I don’t really know what else you want me to say.”

He sighed. “So I take it you and Lo aren’t mates right now? What the fuck happened, Mia?”

“Do not call her Lo, and no we aren’t. I don’t want to talk about it.” I climbed out of the car and swung around the front to walk through our front door without another word.

When I stepped inside, I was hit in the face with the delicious smell of my mum’s cooking and I instantly smiled. “Mum? We’re home!” I called out. I didn’t wait for her response before I popped into the kitchen, where I found her setting the table, but only three spots. I frowned. “Where are Papa and Gran?”

We had a tradition of having my grandparents over for Sunday dinner for as long as I could remember. They didn’t make it over every weekend, but they tried their best.

Mum frowned. “Papa was tired, so he headed home. Said he would see you tomorrow though.”

I helped finish setting up and once Matt was in the house, we all took our seats around the table. I could feel Matt watching me like a bloody hawk, but I wouldn’t look at him. I wanted to forget everything that happened, not re-hash it over dinner.

“So how was closing? Mia, how was being back?” Mum asked while we served ourselves dinner.

I laughed. “Less crazy than tour, that’s for sure. Fell back into routine right quick, which was nice.”

“It’s nice having you back, love,” she said, smiling at me with the fond expression only a mother could muster. My heart tugged just thinking of leaving in six days, so I pushed the thought aside and focused on the present.

“How’s the bakery been anyways? Crazy?”

She launched into telling me all about the new kids they hired from the school who worked on the weekends when Matt couldn’t come home and the kids who worked during the week. It made me think of last year and the year before even when those kids were Harry and I working. I didn’t want to think about that, but then she was bringing it up.

“Remember when you and Harry were those kids? Causing trouble all the while thinking you were helping out,” she said with a wistful grin and a faraway look in her eye.

My cheeks heated up as I looked down at my dinner. “We did help,” I mumbled.

“Ah, you did, love, but you two were always up to some kind of trouble, yeah?”

I frowned and looked up at her. “What are you on about mum?”

She laughed. “You two were like peas in a pod, always chattering on about something or other and hardly getting work done. The only time Harry got work done was when you weren’t around, and vice versa.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I stayed quiet.

Matt cleared his throat from across from me and changed the topic, asking mum about something bakery related, leaving me alone with my thoughts. In my head, I liked to think Harry and I got on well enough, but I was bloody in love with him. Of course I thought that! Everything and anything he did was perfect to me. But did we really work that well together? Or, I suppose, in my mum’s eyes, not so well considering we never got anything done.

I wasn’t sure I believed that. If that was true, why was he with Loren now and not me?

I was too lost in my head, so I didn’t realize both my mum and Matt were staring at me. “Love? You all right?” mum asked, pulling me back to Earth.

I coughed and sipped my water before nodding. “Just tired is all. Sorry, what were you saying?”

She gave me a skeptical look, but shrugged it off. “Just asking how the lads are. You spend so much time with them, I feel like I know them now as well!”

I shrugged my shoulders, still caught on Harry. “They’re good.”

“And Harry? Saw his mum the other day, dear thing. She said she missed her baby and couldn’t wait to see him, and for the first time I could relate!”

I froze, mid-bite. “Harry’s... he’s not home, home, is he? I mean--he didn’t come back to Holmes Chapel?” I absolutely could not handle that. If he was here, he was with Loren, and I just--I didn’t want to think about that.

“No, no. Anne was going to London to see him I guess. She said it’s just too hard for him to come home now, that it’s easier for her to go to him.” She shook her head. “Bloody awful, isn’t it? Can’t even come back to his home!”

I didn’t answer. I was thankful that was the case.

When we finished dinner, I helped Matt clean up while mum retired to the living room with a cup of tea. “One more chance,” he said as we started filling up the dishwasher. “If you want to talk.”

I shrugged. “I’m fine, Matt. Come off it.”

He sighed, obviously not convinced, but didn’t push it. When we finished cleaning, he went to the bathroom upstairs to shower and I found mum in the living room, collapsing on the couch next to her. Neither of us said anything at first, i merely laid against her shoulder while she stroked my hair like she used to do when I was little and couldn’t sleep.

But then she set her tea down, and for some reason I knew we were about to have a serious discussion. “What’s going on, love?” she asked.

It was a simple question, one I could have easily deflected and responded with a simple I’m fine. But she was my mum, and I knew she would know that I was lying, and I just felt like talking to her. So I did.

“I like Harry,” I said, my voice low. “A lot.”

She chuckled, still stroking my hair. “I know, love. I’ve known. But that’s not it, so what is it?”

“He’s dating Loren.”

I told her the whole story. I told her how Loren knew how I felt, how she just showed up and I found her with Harry, and how I still didn’t have the whole story, but that that was my fault partially because I just didn’t have it in me to hear how they had fallen hopelessly in love with one another.

“Have you talked to her, love? That just--that doesn’t sound like the Loren that was your best mate.”

I pulled away and gave her a knowing look. “Matt said something to me on the drive back here that kind of stuck, that Loren wasn’t that great of a mate, and I’m just wondering if you thought that too?”

Her lack of response gave me my answer. I sighed and fell back into her side. “She stopped at the bakery today and we, well... she wanted to tell me everything, but I couldn’t bear to listen. In my opinion, it’s pretty simple. She knew how I felt, she still went after him, and I don’t think we can ever be friends again.”

When she didn’t respond, I pulled away again to look at her. “That’s your decision, love, and I completely understand why you wouldn’t want to be mates again. But I think you should talk to her, for your benefit if nothing else. It’s bothering you more now, is it not?”

I shrugged, but she was right. It was.

“So maybe give it some time, and then talk. Just so you can get the whole story, yeah? Maybe it won’t help, but then you’ll know everything and you can work on getting past it.”

I let the idea sit in my head and just sat beside her in silence for awhile, but eventually she had to get up and head to bed. She kissed my forehead and told me she loved me and to think about what she said before she headed to her room.

After sitting alone for awhile, I headed to my own room. I should have been tired, but my brain was running a mile a minute and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. So instead, I pulled out my laptop and powered it on.

I only used to sporadically on tour, and that was usually just to check my email to make sure no one was trying to get in contact with me. When I opened up my web browser and the page went to MSN Entertainment, I found myself scrolling for pictures or headlines of the boys I knew and loved.

Or one boy, rather.

I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t stop. If it wasn’t MSN, I was on The Sun, and then somehow ended up on the One Direction section of Sugarscape. That was when I knew I was at my lowest, but I couldn’t help scrolling through.

I found the articles I was looking for, of course. All about Harry and Loren, all incredibly nauseating.

Harry Styles with New Beau? Couple Watch: Harry Styles With Old Mate Loren! Harry Styles: Moving Too Fast With New Lass?

They were all ridiculous articles with no real information, aside from a few pap shots that were probably from Loren’s visit on the tour. The two of them had gone out enough, so it made sense there were an abundance of photos for the gossipers to choose from.

I shut my laptop in a huff, tired of reading the ridiculous articles and looking at the high-def pictures that would be engrained into my brain.

I set my laptop aside and stretched out on my bed, trying to ignore the knots in my stomach. I couldn’t help but think that I was lucky no paps were around when I slapped Loren across the face.

I groaned just thinking of it and picked up my phone, suddenly needing to talk to someone.

The phone only rang twice before he answer. “You all right?” His voice sounded hoarse, like he’d been asleep and I waked him.

I sighed and checked my alarm quick. I was slightly disgusted with myself because it was past midnight and I’d spent entirely too long reading various articles. “Did I wake you up?” I asked, settling down further into my pillows and pulling the blankets up around me.

“Mmm, maybe,” Louis hummed. “Hadn’t realized I fell asleep, actually,”

“I slapped Loren.”

I heard him cough, and it sounded like he was choking on a drink. “You did what?” he asked finally when he regained his composure.

I sighed again. “She stopped at the bakery and was just--she was saying all of these things, making it sound like it was up to me if we would be mates again, as if I’m the one who went behind her back and I just--I lost it. So I slapped her.”

“Did you leave a mark? Fucking hell, Mia,” he muttered.

I heard rustling around and I wondered what he was doing. “Where are you? What are you doing?”

He chuckled. “I was in bed. Fell asleep before it got dark, so I was turning a light on because I’m having a hard time understanding how you just slapped someone today and I’m only just now finding out about it.”

I looked up at my ceiling. “It hurt.”

Louis barked out a laugh. “Imagine how she felt, yeah?”

I smirked. “Her cheek was all red. Jesus, I really slapped her!” I probably sounded psychotic, because I started to giggle, and I heard Louis laughing a bit which only made me laugh harder. “Bloody hell, I slapped my ex-best mate across the face because she’s shagging the lad I’m in love with!” I said through the tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.

“It’s like you’re on bloody Hollyoaks!”

This sent me into a whole new fit of laughter, which only stopped because I thought I was going to piss myself.

Louis and I were quiet then, only our heavy breathing for our laughing fits heard. “How are things with your mum?” Louis asked once we had both regained our composure.

“Good, good. I think everything on that front will be all right. She’s not mad anymore, anyways.”

“Well, at least there’s that.”

I sighed again and closed my eyes, still holding the phone close. “How are you? Home’s good?”

“Saw mum and the girls today, which was nice. Quite missed them.”

I smiled, knowing that was an understatement. “That’s nice then.”

“It is. I also... Kristen and I are getting lunch tomorrow I think.”

I inhaled sharply and sat up in bed. “Oh? How’d that come about?”

I heard Louis sigh and I could almost picture him, sitting in his bed with his eyebrows furrowed together because he wasn’t entirely sure himself. “We’ve been texting, on and off, during the tour. Just the occasional how are you, what are you up to, that type of thing. So I happened to mention I’d be around and she just wanted to see me, catch up in person.”

I nodded, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “Is there something happening between you two?”

He made a frustrated noise. “I don’t know. Suppose I’ll find out when I see her tomorrow, yeah?”

“Just be careful, yeah? Only enough room on the tour bus for one broken heart,” I joked, but I was completely serious. I didn’t want to see Louis get hurt again. It was bad enough that I felt like shit, I didn’t want one of my best mates to feel the same way.

He sighed quietly. “I will. You should get some sleep, love.”

We said our goodnights after I made him promise to let me know how the lunch went, and then we hung up.

It didn’t do much, but I was glad I talked to Louis. He at least made me laugh about the Loren situation, and now I knew what was going on with him. I felt bad for a moment because I felt like whenever we talked it was all about me, all the time, and I barely even realized he was talking to Kristen much. I knew they were texting, but if I hadn’t called him (for my own selfish reasons, but I pushed that thought aside) then I wouldn’t have known what was going on.

I set my phone on my nightstand then and curled up under my blankets, suddenly feeling incredibly comfortable, before I promptly fell asleep.