Any Other Heart

I didn’t think we were ever going to get out of London, to be honest. The shows were dragging and the days off were even worse. I tried to just lay-low and stay away from the guys unless I was working. I did my job, I didn’t let on that anything was wrong, and everything was going fine. I just had to make it through a handful of show before I could breathe again.

When we finally left London, it was like a breath of fresh air. I just tried to forget about everything that was happening and focus on my job. From London, we went to Newcastle for several shows, and then from Newcastle we were in Glasgow for a show. Things were going all right. I even made myself stay on the lads’ bus so nothing seemed off. I just made myself scarce and stayed out of the way.

The nicest part was that there were no extra bodies around. No Kristen, no Loren, just the lads and I. It felt like we were back at the start of tour, when things made sense and nothing was as screwed up at it was, and it was just nice.

They weren’t there physically, but their presence was, and that--well, it wasn’t as nice.

Harry was constantly glued to his phone or on his laptop. I would have thought it would bother the other lads, but they weren’t any better to be fair. Zayn and Perrie were constantly chatting or Skyping, which I suppose a part of me understood because they’d been together the longest out of the group, next to Liam and Danielle. Liam was better about occupying his time, but I suppose that was only because Danielle was busy herself so she didn’t have as much time to be glued to her phone.

Then there was Louis, who I never would have expected to be in such a state, but he absolutely was. He wasn’t as bad about it, and actually seemed to be hiding it more than anyone else, but it was still happening. We weren’t talking as much, but even when we were it was like he was stuck in another world. Eventually I just gave up. I still felt weird, but if he was more concerned with his maybe-girlfriend, then so be it.

Niall was the only single one, so we hung around each other more than we had all tour. It was mostly just on the bus when we were driving, or if we were stuck in a hotel with nothing to do we would get something to eat. It was nice because Niall knew everything going on--knew about Louis, knew about Harry, knew about Loren--so I didn’t have to lie around him. It was just... easier.

The day of the Glasgow show, once we were checked out of the hotel in Sheffield and on our way, Niall and I were sitting on the bus together in the front lounge. Harry was sitting on one of the couches preoccupied with his phone and Louis was on the other end, also busy.

Niall and I were playing cards at the little make-shift kitchen table and he was beating me. Not just beating me though, he was wiping the floor with me.

I groaned as Niall grinned and took the coins on the table. We didn’t play with real money, just some poker chips, but it still bloody sucked all the same. “I hate this game,” I muttered as Niall dealt another hand.

Niall laughed. “‘s ‘cause you're awful at it, Mia. Don’t think I’ve ever played someone as bad as you, and that’s saying something, ‘cause I’ve played Hazza before.”

I chuckled and picked up the hand he dealt me while Harry protested, his response delayed. “Aye! I heard that!”

Niall shrugged. “Can’t help that you’re awful, mate. Wipe the floor with you every time, yeah?”

I glanced over at Harry but by then he was looking back down at his phone. I rolled my eyes. “Hard to be good if you never play,” I muttered.

I didn’t think it’d been loud, but Niall laughed. “Aye, she’s got a point.”

“Louis’s not any better!” Harry protested, finally shoving his phone into his pocket and getting up. He sat down beside me and peaked at my cards. “Love, you’re not getting anywhere with that hand.”

I scowled at him. “We just bloody started! Piss off!”

He chuckled and got up, putting his hands up in surrender. “Just saying!” he said before walking back towards his bunk.

I watched him as he disappeared down the hallway into his bunk, the sound of the curtain getting pulled shut. I sighed and looked back down at my cards when I heard Niall laughing again. “What?” I asked when I looked up. He was shaking his head and smirking.

“Nothing, Mia.”

I scowled. “What’s so funny, Ni?”

He shook his head again. “A lot of things,” he said, but didn’t elaborate before he beat me again.

When we finally got to Glasgow, the lads stayed on the bus to relax before they would be needed to do anything, so I left them alone.

Once I got inside, it was a constant stream of busy. Lou and I were getting things set-up and ready for the whirlwind of activity that would take place once it was time to get them ready. I was getting hair products in order while she got make-up brushes out when she stopped me. “So, I may have found a lead on a job,” she said as easily as one would say I think I’m going to have a sandwich for lunch.

I immediately stopped what I was doing and turned to face her. “Excuse me?”

She stopped as well and grinned. “My mate, Lucy, works as a stylist for the X-Factor. She was just interning when the lads were on, but now she’s a full-time stylist for the show. Anyways, I was talking to her the other day and one of the other stylists quit. They’re trying to get things in order because auditions start in late June and go through until August, and then the live shows start, which is when they would really need the help.”

I put both hands on Lou’s shoulders and looked at her seriously. “Lou, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

She laughed. “You would probably just intern at first, help out Lucy and the like, much like you do for me now, but if you show her how brilliant you are I wouldn’t doubt they’d give you a full-time job. Especially with my stellar recs, of course.” She was grinning widely then and I could help the squeal that left my lips.

“Oh my God! This is mental! I’d be--would I have to move to London?”

She shrugged. “More than likely love, yes. Obviously you don’t have to decide right now. Take some time, talk to your mum, all that. But I could help you find a nice flat, and I could even let you stay in mine until you found something. Not like I’d be there anyways!”

My mind was spinning. I’d have to talk to my mum of course, and it was a lot to think about, but it was also kind of perfect. “Lou, this is--I can’t even believe this!” I pulled her in for a hug. “Thank you so much!”

When we separated, she was smiling fondly at me. “Love, you’ve proved yourself time and time again. You deserve this, yeah? You proved yourself, I just lead you in the right direction.”

I hugged her again, feeling the tightness in my throat. Lou had been nothing but good to me, and even if she was acting like she was more than thrilled that she’d found me a new job, I still felt bad. “Are you sure this is okay?” I asked when I pulled away again. “I feel awful, Lou.”

She waved me off. “None of that, love. If I didn’t want to do it, I wouldn’t have.” She winked. “I promise it’s okay, and I understand. I’ll be fine, yeah? Won’t be able to find an assistant as good as you, but...” she trailed off and shrugged.

I smiled and hugged her again. “Thank you. Honestly.”

When we finished getting ready, I was sent out to get the lads off the bus. They hadn't left the bus--or their spots I'd left them in when I'd gone to the venue. They were clearly reaching their wits end. They were exhausted, the tour taking it’s toll on them, and it showed.

“Lads,” I called when I stepped onto the bus. “Time to head in to the venue.”

They all came out in their pajamas basically, looking worn out. I felt bad, but it wasn’t like I didn’t understand. I was tired too, but it was different; they had press, interview after interview, and then a show practically every night. They were worn to the bone, and it wasn’t even close to being over. They still had the European tour, then the states, and finally Australia and New Zealand after all of that. I just wanted to give all five of them a hug and then ten days of rest with absolutely no one to bother them.

I gave them sympathetic smiles while they shuffled off of the bus and we headed into the venue.

It wasn’t until later, that slot of time when the lads were sitting around waiting to go out for the show, that I stepped away to think about what Lou said.

I was sitting on one of the many empty corridors on the ground and leaning against the wall. What Lou was offering me was a life-changing experience. I would have to move to London, find my own place. I’d have to quit the bakery, most likely for good, and then help my mum find someone reliable to take my place permanently. I’d have to talk all of it over with my mum first of course, but I figured if Lou backed me up it wouldn’t be a problem. It wasn’t like Matt wasn’t already living in London on his own. I’d basically be doing exactly what he was doing.

I sighed and rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes. My head was spinning. I needed to take a few minutes and not think about any of it.

“Playing lone wolf?”

My eyes snapped open and I watched as Louis slid down the wall, taking up the space beside me on the ground. I sighed. “Just taking a breather.”

He nodded. We sat like that for awhile, not saying anything, just taking in each other’s presence, before Louis nudged my shoulder gently with his own. “What’s going on, Mia?” he asked me softly.

“How do you mean?” He gave me a look. I sighed. “I’ve just been thinking about a lot,” I told him with a shrug.

“You’ve been in your own world these past few days. What’s going on? Everything all right?”

I didn't mention how he'd also been in his own world lately and just smiled. “Always looking out for me, yeah?” I nudged his shoulder back and he shrugged. I ignored the pull I felt thinking back to what Niall had said. Takes care of you everywhere we go, worries about you. I shook the thought away. “Lou found me a job,” I said finally.

“That’s good, yeah?”

I shrugged. “Just a lot to think about, but yeah, it’s good.”

We were quiet again for awhile. “Nice shirt,” he said finally. When I looked up he was smirking at me, nodding towards my shirt.

I pulled the hem of it out and looked down. It was just a baseball tee with a yellow smiley face on it with three eyes and it said ”HAVE A NICE DAY!” It took me a minute, but once I realized I felt like an idiot. I was wearing Louis’s shirt. I didn’t even remember when I’d taken it from him, but now that I realized I could faintly tell it still smelled like him a little. “Bloody hell,” I muttered. “I didn’t even realize.”

He smirked. “Looks better on you anyways, yeah?” Then we were laughing, both of us, and we couldn’t stop. It was nice, laughing with Louis like that. I’d missed it.

When we finally calmed down. I sighed, wiping the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard. “Can’t believe I won’t be with you guys in the states.”

“I know. Be proper weird, yeah?”

I nodded.

We sat together for a little while longer before finally getting up. Louis had to finish getting ready for the show, and I didn’t want to leave Lou alone any longer. He stood and then held his hand out to help me up. Once we were both standing, and Louis was still holding my hand, he frowned. Then, he pulled me in for a hug. “‘m sorry everything’s gotten so... off, Mia.”

I closed my eyes and just hugged him back. When we pulled away. I smiled, even if it was sad. “I’m a big girl, Lou. I’ll be all right.”

He just nodded and looped his arm over my shoulder before we headed back to the dressing room to get ready for the night ahead.