Any Other Heart

It was the night of the second Glasglow show, I was already in a bad mood, and things were insane. For some reason, everything was going wrong. It was like every single things that could go wrong, would, and I couldn’t keep up.

Lou and Caroline seemed to be taking it all in stride. “Lots of practice,” Lou told me when I apparently looked like I was going to explode after yet another article of clothing had turned up missing. “You get the hang of the stress and learn to just ride through it. Just give it time and don’t blow up,” she told me, as if that helped.

It didn’t.

I was trying, I really was. I was keeping my emotions in check and I hadn’t bit anyone’s head off yet, so I thought I was doing an all right job of it as well.

During the fourth and final costume change, when I finally got things in order as much as I possibly could, my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I was in the middle of tying Harry’s tie, concentrating on it like my life depended on it, when I felt it but I ignored it. The boys had to be ready in the next ten minutes and I didn’t have time to chat with whoever thought now of all bloody times would be a good time to call me and chat.

I didn’t think about it again until after the show, when I finally had a few minutes to breathe. Lou told me to head out to the bus early; I think she was afraid I was going to snap, so I thanked her and obliged, promising to be better tomorrow.

I took a minute when I was out in the hall to check my phone. There was in fact a missed call and a voicemail. I didn’t bother checking to see who it was and instead just went directly to the voicemail.

I was completely blown away when my mum’s voice started to speak to me.

”Amelia Mae Harris, I am completely appalled that you would speak to your brother before your own mum. The fact that I had to hear if you were even alive still from Matt instead of you yourself is unacceptable. I will not stand for that. Now you won’t answer my phone calls? I didn’t even want you taking this bloody job, but you left and I demand to at least be told how you’re doing, from you. Do you understand me? Anything else is unacceptable. Call me immediately.”

Hearing my mum’s voice made me want to cry on it’s own, just due to being homesick and missing her an immense amount, despite her being upset with me. But the fact that this was the first I was hearing from her in a week and it was just so she could yell at me? Well, that did make me cry.

I wasn’t an overly emotional person for the most part. I cried rarely, and when I did I only did so when I was alone.

So no, I was not expecting to burst into tears and fall back against the wall while I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. But I also wasn’t expecting Louis to appear out of thin air, questioning me on what was wrong.

I tried to wave him off but he wasn’t having any of that. “Come on then,” he said softly, tucking me under his arm and dragging me out of the venue and to the bus.

“This isn’t my bus,” I protested lamely when we climbed onto his. He just laughed.

“Sit here,” he said, directing me to the couch in the front lounge. I did as he told, and then he said, “I’ll be right back. Don’t move,” before leaving again.

I tried to relax and take some deep breaths so I was at least partially composed when Louis came back. It didn’t really work, but I was trying. I was in the middle of taking a few deep breaths when Harry climbed onto the bus, a concerned look on his face. Instantly my cheeks flamed. It was bad enough Louis was seeing me look like a total mess, but Harry as well? I didn’t need that.

“Are you all right?” he asked when he sat down beside me.

I tried to wave him off, but it was no use. I was obviously not all right.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He rested one of his hands on my shoulder in comfort, and that along with his concerned tone made the butterflies errupt in my stomach. I was still upset, obviously, but sitting so close to Harry while he tried to comfort me, well... it was nice.

I shook my head. “Nothing. I’m fine. Just... my mum,” I confessed. Harry would know as well as anyone what those two words would mean.

“What happened? Did you fight?”

I shrugged. “She called a bit ago but I couldn’t answer, so she left this mental message going on about how upset she is that I hadn’t called yet and a bunch of bullocks, basically.” I shrugged again. “It’s just been a long day. It took a toll on me is all, and Louis’s being all dramatic about it.”

I was trying to play it off as if I was really fine and everyone was just making a big deal out of nothing, but apparently Harry saw right through that. “I saw him before I got on. He looked worried, said you’re staying with us tonight. I was worried about you.”

I gave him a small smile. It wasn’t much, but it was still a sweet gesture regardless. “I’m okay. Or will be. Thank you though, Harry. Really.”

He grinned and nodded before standing up, just as Louis was coming back on the bus. When he came into view, he saw Harry with me and immediately searched my face. I gave him a small smile and nodded.

“‘m gonna go call my mum,” Harry said then, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Sure you’re all right, Mia?”

I smiled and nodded. “I will be. Thanks.”

He grinned and then turned to head to his bunk.

Louis took his place on the couch, setting my bag on the floor at our feet. “You’re staying with us until we get to Cardiff. Already asked Lou, she said it’s fine and she’d see you then. She looked worried though, so maybe you should text her and let her know you’re fine.”

I sighed before I stood up. “I’m not staying with you boys, Louis. I’m fine. I have my own bunk, I don’t need to stay here. Honestly, I’m fine, really. Just a bit of a mishap--”

“That wasn’t a ‘bit’ of anything, Mia,” Louis cut in. “You’re staying whether you like it or not, and you’ll tell me what happened, and I’ll fix it. Yeah?”

I knew there was no room for argument and nothing I said would change his mind, so I sighed and nodded. “Fine.”

“Right. So go change, then meet me in the back lounge.”

I headed into the bathroom and managed to make-do in the small space, changing into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt before washing my face and brushing out my hair to toss it up in a messy bun. I met Louis in the back lounge, where he was sitting down, having changed into sweats and a t-shirt after he showered at the venue. I hadn’t had the luxury of doing so, but I really didn’t care.

I collapsed on the couch near him, hugging the pillow he must have grabbed for me. “It was just a rough day and everything caught up to me, Louis. I’m okay now, yeah?”

He gave me a look that screamed you’re lying and shook his head. “I’m putting in Finding Nemo and then you’re going to tell me why you were clutching your mobile earlier and crying, yeah?”

I didn’t answer. He was using my favorite movie against me and that wasn’t fair, but I wasn’t about to argue.

The back lounge of the boy’s bus was very nice, but that was to be expected considering the rest of their bus was nicer than my home in Holmes Chapel. It was fit for kings. There were large leather couches surrounding the perimeter of the lounge with a large telly mounted in the corner of the room. There was also a door, which we had closed so the others wouldn’t disturb us. I knew they would have easily joined us to watch the movie if we hadn’t, and I’m sure Louis knew the same.

I got comfortable on the couch while Louis fiddled with the TV, finally getting it to work, the previews for the Disney film rolling. I focused on the screen when Louis sat down beside me, his eyes on me. I could feel him staring, and I knew he was waiting for me to talk, but I didn’t want to.

“What happened?” he asked finally.

I wanted to say nothing, but he stopped me. “Just tell me, Mia. Honestly. You know you will eventually so just skip the bullshit and tell me.”

I sighed. He was right. “My mum called me during the final outfit change, and I couldn’t answer it. Not sure if you noticed, but things were a bit off tonight in all aspects.”

Louis nodded. “A lot kept going wrong, yeah?”

I nodded. “Right. So I was busy. I mean, this is my job yeah? Obviously I was busy. But then she leaves this nasty message, and keep in mind I haven’t spoken to her since before I left, and she’s all upset because I spoke to my brother the other night, and she doesn’t think I should have spoken to him before I even called her. Which is a load of shit if I’ve ever heard one, because I tried to talk to her before I left but she acted like I wasn’t there, so why would I call her now? I wouldn’t.”

Louis nodded. “Now, don’t you feel better?”

He was smirking when I turned my head to look at him, so I rolled my eyes and smacked his chest. “Don’t be a wanker. I’m still upset.”

Instantly his face changed to solemn. “I know you are, love, which is why we’re here. I didn’t realize you and your mum were even fighting.”

I shrugged and looked down at my lap, pulling at a loose thread on the hem of my t-shirt. “We aren’t. I guess. I don’t know. She’s mad because I left, claimed I was leaving her in a time of need.” I shrugged again, my voice significantly softer. “She thinks I’m my dad or something, which is ridiculous, but I guess I can’t really blame her.”

“Hey,” Louis said, nudging me before wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “You’re not your dad, all right? She’s just upset, and she didn’t get it out before you left so she’s letting it all out now. Let her calm down and phone her tomorrow.”

I nodded. I wasn’t sure if he was right or not, but I was tired of talking about it, so I looked up and smiled. “Can we talk about something else now please? I told you what happened and I’m fine now. Let’s stop being so bloody depressing.”

There was a knock at the door then before Niall’s head popped in. He was grinning. “Mia! Didn’t know you were here. Bus is leaving soon you know.”

I nodded and smiled. “Staying with you lot for the night, actually.”

He grinned further before opening the door wider and stepping inside. “Yeah? Whatcha’ doing?”

Louis, obviously satisfied with my answer before Niall had interrupted, smiled. “Watching Finding Nemo. Want to join us Nialler?”

He agreed, of course, not before popping a bag of popcorn to enjoy. I was expecting some of the other boys to join us too, but they didn’t. It was nice though, spending time with just Louis and Niall. I didn’t get alone time with only a few of them at a time very often, so when I did I liked to enjoy it.

Louis fell asleep first like I knew he would. He was tired from the show, and that had shown in his face almost the second we climbed onto the bus. I didn’t care, though; he needed the rest. His head had fallen in my lap, but I left him there because I knew he was a light sleeper and I figured he needed it.

Niall, on the other hand, was wide awake and enjoying the movie with me. “Love this movie,” he said quietly, obviously trying not to wake Louis either.

I nodded. “Me too, ‘s my favorite Disney film honestly.”

“Why are you on our bus tonight?” he asked suddenly, which made me chuckle.

“Just ‘cause Nialler. Why? Problem?”

He shook his head. “Your eyes are red. Were you crying?”

I sighed but nodded. “Just some family problems. I’m fine now though.”

“Lou helped, yeah?” he asked, nodding his head gently to my best mate, sound asleep in my lap. My fingers were playing with his hair ever so softly, and I hadn’t even realized I was doing it. I nodded.

“He has a habit of doing that,” Niall said with a smile. There was something in his tone though that suggested something more.

I narrowed my eyes slightly as I stared at the Irishman. “What are you on about Niall?”

He shook his head. “Nothing, Mia. Just making an observation, that’s all.”

“He’s one of my best mates. Of course he’s going to help me when I’m upset,” I said quietly, suddenly defensive.

Niall shrugged. “All right.”

They were only two words, but I could pick up his doubt from miles away. “What?” I asked, persistent. ““Harry helped too, you know. Do you have anything to say about that?”

He chuckled. “Not a word, Mia. Just enjoy the film.”

I wasn’t satisfied, but Louis was muttering something that sounding vaguely like shut up, so I dropped the subject.