A Better Reality

I sat in Eleanor’s bed as she slept beside me, it was 10 o’ clock in the morning. She was having so much fun at the party, I watched her dance and drink like she didn’t have a care in the world. Then she approaches me looking so broken and hurt at something Danny said to her. I told her not to trust him, but she still hung out with him the rest of the night. I started thinking about what Eleanor said last night, she said he wanted to takes things to a more private place and that those words she first heard when she was 7 years old. That could only mean one thing, somebody raped her when she was so young. I looked down at her sleeping figure and my heart broke for her, nobody deserves to lose their innocence at such a young age, she was SEVEN. I figured when she woke up she would feel like hell so I tried really hard to get out of her bed to get her some Advil without waking her up, but that didn’t work, Eleanor tightened her grip on me and stirred awake. She tried opening her eyes but she let out a loud groan, like I knew she would at the sunlight shining through her window.

“Good morning,” I said to her and she opened her eyes despite how much it would hurt.

“What…we didn’t… you know last night?” She asked, I decided to have a little fun with this.

“You mean you don’t remember?!” I said to her, faking hurt, when she shamefully shook her head.

“I don’t remember anything after meeting Danny last night,” she spoke up.

“Well I’m kidding, we didn’t have sex or even kiss last night.”

“Do you mind telling me what did happen?” She asked while shielding her eyes from the sun.

“Well, Danny said something about going to a private place, I assumed you guys were making out, and he called you pretty girl and then you came running to me, crying and you wanted to go home. So I took you home and then I was going to leave once I got you settled in bed but you insisted that I stay with you. So I did.”

“Oh my GOD. I am so sorry Alex, I hope I didn’t ruin your night,” she said, hanging her head. I took my index finger and lifted her head.

“You didn’t, don’t worry about it,” I said to her, smiling. She plopped her head back onto her pillow and shoved her face further into her pillow.

“I was just going to get some Advil for you,” I said as I climbed out of her bed and pulled my clothes on from last night. She grumbled something that sounded like thank you and I was about to open her door when I decided to say something to her.

“I know your secret,” I said and then opened her door and walked out. I went down the stairs and was greeted by Rian sitting at the kitchen table.

“You,” Rian said semi angrily.

“What about me?”

“You ditched me for my STEP SISTER, I should fucking kill you,” Rian seethed.

“Why’s that?” I asked him, amused.

“Tell me you didn’t fuck my sister.”

“What makes you think that?”

“I get a text from you saying get a ride home because you were taking Eleanor home and when I get home you’re asleep in her bed WITH her!” Rian exclaimed throwing his hands up in the air.

“I didn’t have sex with her, she was having a bad night and wanted me to take her home okay?”

“Oh. Okay, sorry,” Rian said while walking out of the kitchen. I walked over to the medicine cabinet and grabbed the Advil, then grabbed a bottle of water and made my way back to Eleanor’s room. Once I opened and closed her door I was suddenly thrown against the door and Eleanor was in my face.

“What secret?” She seethed at me.

“You know which one,” I said to her, trying to get her to let me go.

“Tell me which one you know,” she angrily said. Okay, she’s strong.

“Let me go and I’ll tell you,” I said to her, hoping it worked. It did, she let me go and signaled for me to go on. First I tossed the medicine and water to her which she took graciously then I sat on the edge of her bed and she joined me.

“You said what Danny told you last night that made you cry was something that used to haunt you when you were 7 years old. I did the math, in a way, and tell me the truth, did somebody molest you?” I pleaded, while staring into her green orbs. She looked down with a look of shame written on her face and I immediately saw the tears leaving her eyes as she nodded her head yes. I pulled her into me and gave her a hug and rubbed her back soothingly. She looked up at me and I quickly wiped away her tears.

“It was my step father,” she simply said.

“Your current one?” I asked and again she nodded her head. I immediately got angry, not at her, but at her step father for doing that to her.

“Does anybody know?” I asked her and she shook her head no. “I promise I won’t tell anyone as long as you promise me something,” I said to her and she looked up at me.

“What do I have to promise?” She whimpered.

“That you’ll never go back to your mom’s by yourself or at all would be great,” I said to her and she just nodded her head.

“That’s sort of why I moved in with my dad. My mom kicked me out for ‘lying to her’ I tried telling her about it but she called me a liar and told me to go live with my dad where liars live.”

My heart broke when she said those words, she tried to tell her mom, she tried to do something about it but her own mother didn’t believe her. Her mom picked her husband over her daughter.

“How many times did he, you know, molest you?” I asked, bracing myself for the answer. I heard her release a deep breath before she answered.

“Every time my mom went out for the night or went out of town…this was often.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said to her because I didn’t know what else to say to that. She was finally escaping her troubles, and getting rid of them “you’re so strong.”

Eleanor looked up at me in disbelief, “you think I’m strong? You don’t think I’m weak because I didn’t try getting out earlier?” She asked and it was my turn to look at her in disbelief.

“Your mom didn’t believe you, you had to deal with that for 9 years, and when she tells you to get out, you get out and you just take things day by day like nothing ever happened. You don’t act like you are damaged goods, you don’t act like you’re worthless. You act like your perfect!” I said to her, looking into her eyes.

“Alex I am damaged goods. I’ve had previous boyfriends and they broke up with me when they found out I was incapable of loving them. I’m incapable of ever loving anyone. Guys broke up with me when I wouldn’t have sex with them, I haven’t had sex with any guy I’ve liked. Instead I lost my innocence when I was seven to my step dad. The reason I don’t tell anybody is because I don’t want them throwing a pity party for me, and I always thought if I told my boyfriends they would break up with me because they all thought I was a virgin!”

My jaw dropped at what she was saying, she thought she was damaged goods, she isn’t. She thinks she is incapable of every loving someone, she’s wrong. She’s never had the right guy come along to prove she can love someone.

“You aren’t damaged goods, you are capable of loving someone, and I wouldn’t care if you were a virgin or not. If you were my girlfriend I would make love to either way. I would make love to you and show you what it’s like to be loved by a guy, I would show you that you’re worth it. I’d want to get rid of all your pain from your past, I would want to be your rock. I wouldn’t stop loving you until I knew that you were absolutely incapable of loving someone,” I ranted to her. It’s true though! She just doesn’t see it.

“Alex you are acting absurd right now.”

“Cut the act you aren’t fooling anyone, Eleanor,” I said to her and then grabbed both sides of her face and crashed my lips on to hers, in a kiss.