Fear Itself

After a few blocks, we finally came to a skidding halt. I had to double over a bit, hands on my knees, as I tried to catch my breath. I struggled to hear Avery ask me if I was okay, and I thought I heard him laughing, which left me absolutely bewildered. “What?” I asked, not for him to necessarily repeat himself, but mostly because I honestly couldn’t believe that he was laughing right now. I stood up straight and looked at him in utter belief. “No, I’m not okay. Thanks for asking,” I quipped with contempt, still looking shocked. Pain shot up through my legs, and my eyes stung with tears.

“No fucking problem—“ Avery sneered, biting sarcasm returning to his voice, but I wasn’t listening to him. In fact, I seemed to have caught him off guard when I spent the next few moments breathing unnaturally deep, my chest shaking with every expansion, until I let out an absolutely dreadful wail. I sobbed at the top of my lungs. People stared as they passed, but I had clenched my eyes shut as tears spilled down my face.

“I’m lost, my feet hurt, I just stole shoes, so now I’m a criminal—“ I stopped to sob again, still hugging my boots to my chest. “I started a fight, and you got hit, and I…” I had to paused to breath. “I…” I stopped to breath again. “I just—” I let out another loud wail that wracked my entire body and left my shoulders shaking. “I feel like I’m going to throw up, and I haven’t even eaten all day, but I think I’m going to throw up!” I screamed, sobbing still all the while. I opened my eyes for a moment, but tears continued to flood my face. I stopped to breathe some more, at first appearing to steady my lungs. My chest no longer heaved so noticeably, at least until I screamed again. “This isn’t London!” I wailed. “It’s dirty, and it’s dreadful, and it doesn’t even have trees, and all the people are mean and smell like eggs and look like they want to hurt me when I didn’t even do anything wrong! I don’t know where I am, and I’m scared, and if it wasn’t for…” I paused, taking another deep breathe. “For… for stupid Alex and his stupid eyebrows, I’d still be okay and safe with my father and my cat!” I sobbed loudly. “Everything is simply awful, and all I want to do is go home, and nobody will even take me!” I yelled before stomping my right foot, which sent a jolt of pain shooting through my body. I sobbed some more, muttering, “Ow. Ow. Ow.” I sobbed loudly, again. “I just want my cat. I miss Ralph!”

“Hey,” Avery said over my sobs, approaching me warily. “Hey, Princess. You’re okay. Put your boots on. Everyone’s okay, okay?” His voice was slow and soft. “You’re not lost. You’re on High Street right now, look,” he explained, nodding toward a nearby street sign. “And all the people about to go shopping are staring at you, Princess.” He paused to sigh. “I know you’re scared, and I know you want to go home, but you’re okay. C’mon. Put your boots on.”

“No!” I wailed with defiance, throwing my boots on the ground. I stomped my foot again, careful not to hit my heel this time. I clenched my hands in fists at my sides and continued to sob. “I’m not going to put my boots on. I don’t want these stupid shoes!” I cried. “I want to go home! Even if I have to walk myself home, I’m going to!”

His patience was short. I was driving him up a wall, which was the opposite of what this would have done to my father, and I was a bit shocked when he snarled, “If you want to go home, then go, Princess. Good luck getting a block without someone watching you or finding somebody else to take you, since you can’t find your own fucking way.” I looked down at the shoes I had thrown on the ground with a pang of regret, and I sniffled. I continued sobbing until Avery finally spoke up again. “Why don’t we get you some food?” he offered with little amusement.

I blinked a bit and looked back at him, suddenly feeling calm again. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve, and a tiny smile crawled onto my face. “Food?” I asked hopefully.

“Yeah,” he snapped, exasperated by all of this. “Food.”

In a rush, I bent forward and crouched down to pull my boots on and lace them up. This was a new sensation; I had never owned or worn shoes before, so when I stood, I took a moment to get my bearings. Avery had taken a few steps forward, and when I tried to follow, I promptly fell against him. I felt him brace me and push me back to my feet, and all I could do was scramble to find my balance. I shot him an embarrassed grin. “Sorry. Don’t quite have my land legs yet,” I joked, laughing awkwardly. “Get it? Land legs? It’s like… sea legs.”

Avery rolled his eyes and sighed. “Do yourself a favor and don’t drink,” he told me with a hint of humor in his tone and a devious smile on his face. I didn’t have time to question what in the world he meant. What wasn’t I supposed to drink? Water? Juice? He had already moved on. “Let’s just get food,” he relented as he led me away from the market and away from the crowds of attention I had managed to attract in the last couple of minutes until we came to another square that was quieter than the last. It was lined with various shops and stalls tended by their respective owners. The smell of food, though unfamiliar, wafted toward me and brought a calm, tranquil, but also satisfied smile to my face. “You ever eaten at a place like this, Princess?” he asked me as we drew closer, nodding at the stall. I merely shook my head. When we stood in front of it, he stepped back to allow me in front of him. “Go on,” he told me. “You’ve got to tell him what you want.”

I furrowed my eyebrows and huffed a bit as I looked over all of the choices until I finally lifted my gaze to the vendor and gave him an inviting grin. ”Hello, sir, you’ve got a lovely establishment here, though I seem to be having a problem… er… deciding,” I explained. ”What would you recommend?”

Surprisingly enough, the vendor replied with a genuinely kind tone of voice, gladly listing off what he personally thought were their best items. I nodded attentively, responding with “oohs” and “ohs” every once in a while. When the man finally told me his personal favorite (a chicken, thyme, and cream pasty), I laughed quietly. “Wow, that sounds lovely!” I exclaimed, chuckling. ”Okay, yes, I will have one of those, and, um, also a… a scotch egg,” I told him cheerfully, pausing to glance to Avery. ”If that’s okay with you,” I added, realizing that I was not able to pay for food, but I was interrupted by the vendor, who was already extending a small, folding cardboard carton to me with a warm smile on his face.

“Don’t worry about it, darlin’. On the house for such a pretty girl like you,” the man told me.

I accepted the box with an ecstatic grin. ”Oh, wow, this is so lovely! It smells delicious! Thank you kindly, sir,” I chirped, almost immediately opening the carton and taking a bite out of my pasty. With a satisfied smile, I swallowed my food and gave Avery the most enthusiastic smile I had worn all day. ”Okay!” I exclaimed. ”Your turn!” I was far too busy enjoying my food to notice that the vendor charged Avery twice the amount for his food.

After he was finished, we relocated to a vacant, quiet street, and we sat on the curb, eating in silence. I would have spoken, trust me, but I was far too interested in the fact that I finally had food in my stomach. It was like nothing I had ever tasted, and while it was nothing compared to my father’s cooking, it certainly tasted a lot better knowing that I hadn’t eaten in some ungodly amount of time. I hummed with unbridled satisfaction as I munched on my scotch egg. My stomach no longer growled, and now that I was equipped with covered feet, a full stomach, and a companion, I could say that I was truly happy. I glanced to Avery as he ate. He was quiet, not much of a shocker.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” I asked him, but he didn’t even look up to me or answer. He just continued eating, giving me a hum as a response, which barely qualified. I didn’t mind. I giggled softly, chewing and swallowing more food. “I’m going to call you Mumbles.”

“What?” he asked, finally giving me an audible reply. He quirked an eyebrow at me, clearly confused. I shot him a joking grin.

“You call me ‘Princess,’” I contested with a smirk on my face.

“Fair enough,” he mumbled and returned to eating his food. I glanced to him once more with a small smile. I liked him, I decided. He may not have been a great conversationalist, but, hey, we couldn’t all be so good at everything. I placed my empty carton on the sidewalk beside me, suddenly feeling overcome with exhaustion. It had been a long day, and there wasn’t much hesitation before I leaned over and rested my head on Avery’s shoulder for a moment. He glanced over with a confusion for a mere moment, but he only uttered a bit of a sigh before he continued eating. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to find a bit of rest on the cold streets of London while my new friend finished his meal.