Fear Itself

“This would be your stop, Princess,” Avery mumbled as we stood at the edge of the woods separating my cozy, tranquil home and the dangerous, crowded streets of West London. They hadn’t been so bad in the daylight, I thought. I could find my way during the day no problem, since the light broke through the trees and guided my path out toward civilization, and I was almost sad to see it go. I looked to my house, and then to Avery. I could still turn back; we were at a safe distance, but I gave him a nod, knowing it was best for me to return home. My father must have been worried sick about me since my disappearance five days ago.

“I know,” I told him quietly, wringing my hands anxiously. I felt him nudge me a bit, and I stumbled forward. Over my shoulder, I grinned to him, and he smirked back.

“Go on, then,” he told me, nodding toward the brick wall surrounding my mansion. “Run along, Princess. Wouldn’t want Daddy to worry.” There was humor in his voice, and I gave him a breathy laugh, but he must have sensed my disappointment because his face fell a little. “Don’t worry. I’ll be here when you’re ready to come back.”

A smile made it’s way on to my face, and I nodded. “Okay,” I told him, and I stepped forward to hug him for a moment, though he didn’t return it, merely stared at me. When I pulled back, I smiled a little wider, and he just gave me a nod.

“Get goin’, Princess,” he mumbled.

Grinning, I finally turned to leave. I looked at him over my shoulder and gave him a wave. “Seeya later, Mumbles.” I continued forward, doing my best not to look back at Avery, fearing that perhaps I’d get scared and want to run back. Somehow, I felt safer with him than I did in my home. There was a feeling of claustrophobia gripping me as I approached the gate of my home. I shoved through it, forcing myself to stride up to the front steps. I didn’t want to go back to being trapped in my room, and I could only guess what my father would do now that I was finally home.

Clutching the gold door knob, I twisted my hand, only to find the front door locked. A groan escaped my lips as I lifted a fist and lightly knocked on the surface. It creaked open just moments later, and I felt my father literally envelop me in his arms, tugging me inside and closing the door with his foot. “Oh, Tali,” he muttered, his face pressed into the top of my head, one arm locked around my shoulders and the other hand nestled in my hair. He sighed a little. “I’m so glad you’re safe. You are okay, right?” he asked, pulling away, resting both hands on my shoulders. He moved one to brush my hair back away from my forehead, stroking the skin with his thumb.

“I’m okay, Dad,” I chuckled a little, feeling rather smothered, even after only having five days of independence. I looked up and gave my father a soft smile to show him that I was, in fact, okay, knowing that he couldn’t see the bruises under the fabric of my clothes. That would have been a bit difficult to explain, and I knew that he was going to interrogate me anyway.

“You’re filthy,” he relented, looking rather shocked. “Where in the world were you, Tali?”

“Hmm,” I chuckled. “That’s a very long story.”

“I’ve got nothing but time, Pumpkin,” he replied, smiling softly and combing his fingers through my hair. “You didn’t run away, did you? Tell me that’s not what happened, dear.”

I shook my head quickly. “No, it’s the furthest thing from it,” I commented quickly. “I… I was kidnapped actually.” I shrugged my shoulders, trying my best to put on a look of defeat and sorrow. I was trying to look like someone who had just been through a horrible, traumatic experience. Dean said I needed to learn how to lie, and this was as good a time as any to start practicing.

My father’s face twisted up, clearly vexed, but it soon just became a look of worry. “Who was it?” he asked me. “Who did it? I’ll call the police and have them arrested,” my father told me with conviction. I knew he was telling the truth, and I thought about the boys from the tunnel (because they really couldn’t be called men). Alex, of whom I wasn’t particularly fond, was someone I could give up in a heart beat. I truly considered telling my father about him, what he looked like, everything. Watching Alex get carted away by police may have proved amusing. Upon second thought, I realized that giving Alex up meant giving up everyone else, and I liked my new friends far too much to give them away like that.

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. “I really don’t remember, Dad,” I confessed with completely false disappointment, but it looked like my father was taking the bait. I felt horrible playing him like this, but I didn’t see any other options. “He never told me his name. I just know he had the ugliest set of eyebrows I’ve ever seen in my life,” I told him, sighing with exasperation.

“His eyebrows?” my father chuckled a little, looking at me with disbelief. “Somebody tries to abduct you and all you can remember was what his eyebrows looked like?” I nodded, and a grin graced my father’s features. “You are such an odd child, Tali.”

I was at a loss. I needed to make this believable, and I knew that my father was very well-aware of my attention to detail and how well my memory worked. It wouldn’t be long before he launched a full-on assault of questions, so I needed to distract him, and I needed to do it in the next couple of seconds. He was a bright man, but I had the upper hand: my father never expected I would lie to him, which only made the pang of regret in my stomach drop further. I gave my father the smallest smile I could, doing my best to look insecure and slightly shaken by my last five days in the city, and I launched myself at him, hugging him tightly and burying my face in his chest. “I’m just so glad to be home, Daddy,” I whimpered softly into his shirt, hoping he would just drop the subject.

To my pleasure, my father gave me a soft chuckle and embraced me, petting my hair softly. “There, there, Pumpkin,” he whispered soothingly, trying to calm me down from my “fright.” He kissed the top of my head and hummed a little. “How about you get cleaned up, and I’ll make us some lunch?” he offered, and I could hear the smile in his voice. “We’ll have a nice chat, and we won’t even have to talk about this anymore if you don’t want, okay?”

I nodded a little, sniffling. “Yes, Daddy. That sounds lovely,” I replied with a quiet, meek voice. I had missed my father so much. I had missed this kind of comfort when Alex had thrown me to the wolves, and even though half of me wanted to stay in the city, half of me felt so safe with my father that I could have been content to never leave his arms.

But I did. He went to the kitchen, and I went to the shower. The feeling of warm water on my skin was one of the most comforting things I had felt all day other than my father’s embrace. It washed over me, cleansing me of the dirt, the grime, and the smell of the tunnels (which was some awful mixture of urine, booze, and cardboard). My hair felt clean and not greasy for the first time in days, and though the water pressure stung the bruises lining my body, I smiled, or at least I tried.

Thought of my father made my heart ache. How could I have just lied to him like that? He was genuinely worried about me. He wasn’t even angry that I had been gone. There was no yelling, no scolding, no punishment, nothing, and here I was, running my mouth and twisting lies with my tongue as though he deserved it. All he ever did was try to protect me, and I was telling fibs like some kind of monster. I was no better than the scum of West London, and it pained me so much that my eyes stung with tears.

I sobbed quietly to myself, but the sound was drowned out by the water thudding against bottom of the tub, and the water washed away the tears on my face before they had a chance to spill at all.