Fear Itself

Everything was silent outside the Atlantis Testing Facility gates. There were people there… hundreds at least. I stood apart from the crowd with Alex, Larson, and Garrett. We were masked, this time in the same blank white faces they used in their broadcasts, not the ski masks like we used at the robbery. I was already nervous as we handed out guns to the civilians who showed up to riot. Some seemed legitimately angry at the government, some just seemed angry, and some didn’t seem to know exactly why they were there in the first, yet they were incredibly fascinated that we just handed them a gun.

An attack squad had been sent into the prison twenty minutes ago. Alex seemed impatient, perhaps even worried, but I didn’t know what to say or how to comfort him. I still wasn’t entirely sure of what was going on. We all just stood there watching. Waiting. Hoping that Harley and her team would succeed in make it out alive.

Sure enough, loud sirens began sounding from the testing center, and in the midst of the noise, out ran Harley, a gun in one hand, and the other hand balled in a fist held high in the air, screaming like it was the most exhilarating thing she’d ever done in her life. Her team followed charging behind her, running off into the distance, further into East London, just as planned. Sam said time and time again that they were wanted fugitives and couldn’t risk being captured. Moments after they vanished, all hell broke loose.

The testing center burst into flames. The fire burst out the windows and shattered the glass. Loud screams and yells sounded from behind the doors, which soon burst open with the force of at least two hundred angry criminals, who were now armed and looking for revenge. I wondered for a moment how the people on our side of the gate planned to get involved. That had been my main concern: trying to rile them up. Dean said that it wouldn’t be a problem, mostly because the League had the masses trained like sheep already. All it took was a few angry people to incite the rage of a furious, bloodthirsty mob.

Sure enough, the screaming criminals sent the hundreds of gathered participants into a frenzy. They started screaming, yelling, waving their guns in the air. Garret, Larson, Alex and I took the remaining weaponry and loaded it into yet another borrowed van in order to save what we had leftover and watched the masses charge the gate. They didn’t even hesitate to charge it and bulldoze down. It crumbled under the weight of their feet as they stormed into the complex, screaming incoherently. That wasn’t even the worst of it. Some took to nearby buildings, bashing in the windows with the ends of their rifles. Some broke in doors. They hopped through the openings and began trashing the insides with a wild, animalistic rage. Chairs were sent flying through broken windows and crashing out into the streets, skidding past people and even knocking over.

Waiting at the far end were lines of militia, exactly what we accounted for, though I didn’t necessarily expect to see them. They wore their uniforms, standing tall in perfectly even rows. They had cold stares as they watched the masses wreaking havoc. Larson got into the van and left, according to plan, and the rest of us were left to watch the chaos unfold. Someone on the outskirts of the violent crowd threw a flaming beer bottle haphazardly into the violence. I don’t know where it landed, don’t know where it rolled. All I know is that I saw a nearby clothing store implode. Flames shattered the glass door and windows, sending shards flying and scattering about. The noise was so loud it was almost deafening. The violence had my stomach churning and pressure rising in my throat. My heart was pounding in my chest, though I was slightly thankful that I wasn’t trapped in there as more buildings began to light up in flames.

Suddenly, I wondered if I should have even come hear. The danger was imminent, death was likely, and I feared for my life. They were destroying everything in sight without a worry or a care. I looked around me, and more people were charging in, almost appearing out of nowhere. I searched for a familiar face, but I saw no one. I was surrounded by charging rioters. I was frozen stiff, shaking, and alone. Where was Avery? Why wasn’t he here? I needed him. All I could think was that one of these angry people was just going to shoot me or blow me up and that would be the last anyone ever saw me. Tears stung my eyes as I tried to back up, but my feet barely shuffled. I was shaking something awful, thought I might stumble. I stopped moving in fear I might fall and get trampled to death.

Sounds of shots being fired began to sound from in the distance, but they sounded so close. I blinked a few tears out, and my breath seemed to stop. My chest was tightening. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to get out of there, and I needed to do it fast, but my legs felt like rocks, and I couldn’t slow my brain down, and suddenly, I felt dizzy and…

Then there was nothing beneath my feet. All I could feel was the rough, cold cement under my cheek. My hands grasped at the pavement in hopes of pushing myself off the ground, but I gasped for air, and tears spilled down my cheeks. Panic was setting in and taking over my body, rendering me helpless and frozen there on the ground without motion or the ability to cry out for help. My vision blurred and caught feet running by. I closed my eyes as I was beginning to feel like I might vomit, but the tears and sobs persisted. My heart raced, pounding hard against my chest, so hard I thought my ribs and my lungs might burst under the pressure, just like the windows on those buildings when they blew up. All I could hear was gunfire and screaming and maybe even my own sobbing if I listened carefully enough, but I couldn’t move.

Didn’t move, really. Somebody else moved me. Somebody else grabbed me and pulled me off the ground, dragging me off just a few feet away behind the safety of a building that had remained untouched. I didn’t know who it was at first, but my mask had fallen clear off, and that was all I could worry about in that moment. My eyes finally opened, but my vision was so stung with tears I couldn’t see anything anyway. I grabbed fistfuls of their shirt, his shirt I judged by the scent, and buried my face in his chest, sobbing loudly, audibly, agonized by the idea that I almost just died.

“Shh,” he hushed me, wrapping arm tight around my back. “It’s okay, Tali,” Alex whispered, holding tightly to my shaking body. He ran a hand over my hair. “You’re alright now.” But it wasn’t alright. I could still hear the screaming behind us, off in the distance, even echoing through my ears.

I pulled myself together long enough to take a deep breath. I did feel safer. I listened to his heartbeat, nice and slow. Calm. Serene. Peaceful. I matched my breathing, though every breath still rattled my frame. “I need Avery,” I cried. “Where is he?”

“I don’t know, Tali,” Alex replied quietly, still holding me close. “I’m sorry. I don’t know.” I just cried harder, buried my face further into his chest and sobbed. “Sh,” he whispered again. “It’s going to be alright. Do you want to go home?” he asked me sincerely. I nodded. “We can do that. We can go home. Let’s get you out of this mess.” His voice was reassuring and firm. My legs still wobbled, but I lifted myself away from him, looking up with teary eyes and nodding.

“Okay,” I agreed in a tiny voice, sniffling, trying to control my breathing. “I’d like that.”

“Can you walk?” he asked me, brushing a few stray hairs out of my face. I gave him a nod. “Good. Let me know if that changes, alright, Tali?” I nodded. He slipped an arm around me to hold me up, and I couldn’t help but fall against him a little, still weak and weary from the pain in my chest and the lightheadedness, but I shuffled along, and he held me up the whole way back to my house.

He came inside with me (through the front door this time). He must have noticed I was still shaking. “Here,” he said softly, helping me sit on the couch. “Two seconds, Tali,” Alex reassured me, even holding up two fingers before rushing up the stairs and into my bedroom. When he returned, he had the fleece blanket I kept folded on the edge of my bed draped over his arm. He wrapped it around me tightly, kneeled in front of me, and rubbed my shoulder. “Do you feel any better at all?” he asked.

“Don’t know,” I replied quietly, giving a weak shrug of my shoulders. I just felt tired. Incredibly tired but thankful nonetheless. “Kind of cold.”

He nodded slowly, and his eyes drifted around the room. “I think we can fix that,” he muttered, then shot me a smile. He stood up and walked a few steps to the electric fireplace. His hand ran over the control panel for just a moment before turning it on. “Hopefully that’ll heat up soon,” Alex sighed to himself. “Tali,” he said, turning back to me. “Do you by any chance fancy a cup of tea?” I gave him a nod. “Great.” I started to try and get up, but he quickly held out a hand in an effort to block me. “No, no,” he told me. “Don’t get up, I’ve got it, I’ll find it. Don’t worry.”

I don’t know how long it took. I barely paid attention, almost drifted off until I heard the microwave beeping. Things sped up then, and before I knew it, he was handing me a mug. “Careful,” he warned. I smiled a little, still to tired for words but trying to show him my gratitude. Something told me he didn’t mind so much. He sat beside me empty-handed, saw my trembling hands, caught the tea I almost spilled on myself with his own callused palm. He winced. “Here, let me—“ he cut himself off and held his hands to mine, steadying my grip so I could drink. Then, he took it from me and set it on the coffee table in front of us. “You’re still shaking,” Alex muttered. I closed my eyes and nodded. I felt his hand on my back, fingers tracing my spine, rubbing, stroking in soft, comforting motions until the jitters slowly melted out of me.

Slow and steady, I took a deep breath. I heard Alex hum softly beside me. “It’s okay, Tali,” he reassured me. “You’re safe now.” There was pause. “Just… imagine you’re on a beach somewhere… maybe somewhere exotic like Morocco, and there’s the nicest breeze drifting off the ocean. The sun is warming your skin. You’re alone. Absolutely alone.”

“No,” I whispered, eyes still fixed shut, still listening. “I want you there with me.”

“Okay,” he chuckled softly. “Then you’re not alone. I’m there with you. We’re alone, just sitting on the beach, in the warm sand, not worried about anything. Nothing will hurt us here, and you know it, so you lay down beside me, and you close your eyes. For a few moments, you hear some birds flying overhead, and you smile. You know you’re safe here. You listen to the sound of the waves coming over the shore, and to this sound, you slowly drift into a nice, deep sleep… the best you’ve ever had…”

I must have, for I woke up hours later alone in my bed. I was tucked in tight, snuggled up in my sheets when the morning sun rose and broke through the cracks in my curtain. On the end table sat the mug of tea with a yellow post-it note stuck on the handle.

“See you soon. Rest up. - Alex.”