Stomach Tied in Knots.

Today Kellin and I were finally in Michigan. I had texted Tabby earlier asking her if she wanted to meet up, that I was in town. Within seconds she messaged me back that she really wanted to. I just wanted to catch up, find out all that had changed since I left town six months ago. I thought about Kyle, he had been one of my closest friends I wondered how he'd been doing. I wondered what happened in Tabby's life, I wondered if shew as still head over heels with Lou like she was when I left. But mostly deep down inside, I wanted to know how Andy was doing.

Yes Andy Glass may have screwed me over, yes he may have hurt me numerous times over the five years of our friendship but that didn't matter. Aside from the whole disastrous crush scenerio, Andy Glass was one of the best friends I'd ever had in my entire life. We made some of, if not the best memories in my life. He was just a big part of my life for a long time and call me crazy, but I sort of missed him a lot. I'd wondered if he'd had any new girlfriends or if he even missed our friendship at all.

"Kellin, I need to ask you something." He smiled at me, "sure babe, anything." I looked down, "I wanna go catch up with Tabby today, do you think you could drop me off at her place." Kellin shrugged, "I mean if that's what you really want Auriel. I'm not gonna stop you, I just hope that bastard doesn't show up. I don't want him putting any moves on my girl." I shook my head, "Kellin I highly doubt he's going to show up. Under the circumstances on which I left, and what happened the last time that we talked, he certainly was okay without me." Kellin smiled, "well alright." Deep down in my mind I was thinking that I kind of did want to see Andy Glass, I know Kellin didn't want me to but he wouldn't have to know if I did see him.

We got in Kellin's car as I directed him around the town I called home for well, most of my life. We were playing his new CD in the car on full blast. He had such talent that it honestly astonished me. He'd finally gotten to Tabby's house. "Right here, this is where she lives." I said. Kellin stopped the car right in front of her house, he stopped at looked at me with an almost concerned look.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Kellin asked me as we sat in the car in front of Tabby's house. I was starin into his ice blue eyes. Kellin had the prettiest eyes I had ever saw in my entire life hands down. "I'm sure, Kellin I need to make things right." He smiled, "you do, you're wise babe." I smiled, feeling my cheeks blush. Kellin kissed me on the forehead and held me for a second, "I love you babe, I'm gonna be with Justin. When you need me to come get you, call me okay? I don't want anything to happen to you." I waved him off, "Kellin I'll be fine don't worry." I said hugging him tightly before I got out of the car.

I walked up to Tabby's door. It felt like forever since the last time I'd been at this house. So many memories happened here, good and bad. This house was once my home. I knocked on the door, for some reason I felt nervouse. I had no idea why I would even be nervous to talk to Tabby. She'd been my best friend for years, I'd told her everything. I had no reason at all to be afraid to talk to Tabitha Sullivan.

After what felt like an eternity of waiting for her to answer, which in all reality was probably 2 minutes at most Tabby answered the door. She looked different. Her hair, once a mess of long thick black curls had completely changed. Her hair was straight, and her hair had been dyed in an ombre style. She was also wearing a full face of makeup. Bright read lips, and winged eyeliner. Her hair and makeup were the most noticeable differences about her, but something else was different about Tabby to me. She didn't look as happy, her eyes weren't lit up like they always had been.

I don't know why that was something I immediately noticed about Tabby, but it was. Without thinking I put my arms around her and hugged her, burying my face in her shoulder. I started crying, feeling like an asshole for not talking to this girl for half a year. This girl that had been there me through everything. She rubbedm y back, "I really missed you Auriel."

I looked up at her and smiled, "I promise I won't ever not talk to you for this long again, you're my best friend and I love you." She smiled, "I love you too, always will. No matter how far apart we are or how long we don't speak you'll always be my best friend." I smiled, a small tear rolling down my eye. "So are we gonna catch up or what?" she said. I nodded and we went into the living room of the apartment.

It was silent for a second, so I decided to break the awkward silence. "So first off how are you and Lou?" She looked down, letting out a sigh. "Horrible, we broke up last month." I looked at her in shock, "what?" She nodded. "What the fuck happened?" I was honestly shocked, when I left, all she could talk about was how she knew Lou was the one, and that she knew he'd pop the question by the end of the year. Clearly that didn't happen. She just shook her head, "he said he felt like things were moving too fast. Originally it was just a break but then he started changing once he started hanging around Andy's stupid ass." I shook my head, "I always knew you could do better anyways, Tab." She smiled, "thanks Ari, it means a lot really."

Ari, no one had called me Ari since I left this place six months ago. It felt weird being called that name once again. "So, how's Kyle been?" I asked. She shrugged, "same old Kyle Pavone you wanna hear something really funny though?" I looked at her with a mischevious smile, "always do." She laughed, "well a few weeks ago, like maybe 2 I started hooking up with Kyle." I started busting out laughing, "just like old times, eh?" I said nudging her. She slapped me, "shut up, you know he hasn't been as bad lately. He's been keeping his shit together. I shook my head, "I'll believe it when I see it. Wouldn't you guys hooking up be awkward for Lou?" Tabby just shook her head again, "no he's dead to me. He already has a new girlfriend. She looks like a cracked out Ashley Tisdale." I looked at her and laughed.

She looked at me with a serious expression, "So Auriel," I looked back at her, "So Tabby." She sighed, "I just wanna know how's life now that you're in you know, Portland. Is it better?" I looked at her with a sad expression, "in some ways yes, in others no. I miss my family and I miss all my friends. Constantly. I love my new job, that's an improvement. Don't get me wrong, Portland is beautiful but it's no Detroit. Despite what anyone has to say negatively about this city it's my home." Tabby nodded, "yeah we all miss you around, everyone asks about you. Kyle did the other day when he was here."

I smiled, someone missed me. It may not have been Andy, but it was Kyle Pavone. "Tell him I miss him a lot, and hopefully I'll see him some time." Tabby smiled, but she looked concerned. "Auriel there's one question I really did wanna ask you though." I looked down and nodded, "shoot." She let out a sigh, "How are things with Kellin?" I smiled nervously and thought about it for a second. Yes, I liked Kellin. He picked me up when no one else could. He protected me. He changed for me. But I still wasn't sure if I loved him.

"Well..they're good. He's a really sweet guy deep down. We can talk about anything. He's very protective over me. I think he's changed for me in the best way, we don't really party anymore I guess we're a netflix and take out kind of couple. I mean I like him yeah, but I don't know if I love him." Tabby shook her head, "I'm not gonna say I'm not happy for you but I know you miss him."

I looked down, I could feel my face burning red, tears started streaming down my face. I nodded, "I do, I miss him. I mean he wasn't ever my boyfriend but it felt like we were together for a long time. I was in love with him. I felt like he was too, I could tell in his eyes. I miss him, yeah. You'll always miss your first love but I'm trying to get over him. It's hard. Like Kellin absolutely hates Andy, and it makes me mad because he shouldn't. He doesn't know everything about what we once were. But I don't know why I even care, Andy obviously doesn't give a fuck about me. He probably hasn't even asked about me. Me leaving this town had absolutely no affect on Andy Glass."

Tabby was crying now, and she just shook her head. "You don't understand Auriel, he loved you. That boy loved you, he was going to tell you but then Ashlee just fucked things up. He's been horrible lately because he misses you. He's dragged Lou down with him. He doesn't even talk to Kyle outside of tour anymore and.." My jaw dropped, I interrupted Tabby, "you're kidding me right?" Tabby shook her head, "I'm afraid not. That's why Kyle's been getting his act together. He tries talking to Andy all the time it's just a no go. He's bringing a different girl home every night, but it's not like he notices. All he does now is get drunk, get stoned and hang out with girls that have the intelligence of a fruit fly."

I didn't know how to fathom all of what Tabby was saying, without thinking about what Kellin would do or about anything really, I looked at Tabby. "Can you invite Andy over right now? I really wanna talk to him." Tabby shrugged, "I mean I don't see why not. It wouldn't hurt. Let's hope he actually comes. Maybe we can help him finally get his fucking shit together." She pulled out her phone and sent Andy a text. "Now we wait." I said laughing. Tabby looked at me almost in shock not even five seconds after sending the text, "he responded right away Auriel, he's on his way to see you."

What did I just get myself into? Was this a good decision? Or one of the worst I'd made in a long time? What was Andy going to be like?