Stomach Tied in Knots.

"So Auriel you know what's pretty shallow?" Kellin asked. "What?" I asked. "I have a crush on you and I know absolutely nothing about you besides the fact that your Andy Glass' best friend. I wanna know your life story tell me." Is he serious? I thought. "You'd have to get me drunk to tell you that." I laughed. Without hesitation Kellin got up and came back with a six pack. "Really?" I asked. He nodded, "I wanna know." I shook my head, "well here it goes," I popped the tab on the beer and took a sip, beer always tasted disgusting to me. "I was a mistake. I don't even know who my real father is I mean we have a few ideas but we're not sure. I was definitely unplanned my mom had me at fifteen, no in fact she doesn't even get the dignity to be called mom, at fifteen Cara had me." I watched Kellin stare at me with sorrow, his eyes were big and blue not the same kind as Andy, Kellin's eyes were like crystals.

"...and well I lived with Cara until I was about maybe...four? She didn't take care of me. She had a different boyfriend every night, I wasn't her main priority in life. So eventually my grandparents raised me. They were still in their late thirties when I was born so they still had the energy to care for me, in fact I thank god everyday I have them to care for me. Life just wasn't good for the first four years. Cara has her life turned around now I guess, she's married and she hasa new baby girl her names Carina. I honestly think she tells her new husband that I'm her little sister and you know it sucks. I don't even know why. I know that when I have children I want things to be different for them, I want them to have a good father and a nice stable life I guess." I looked at Kellin's crystal eyes again I could still see the sympathy in his face. I remember when I told Andy about the situation with my parents he just couldn't stop saying I'm sorry over and over again. Andy didn't really understand what I went through I guess since Andy had the perfect childhood.

Andy has Deb and John for parents, he was traveling the world by the time he was four. I'd always seen Deb like a motherly figure to me I guess, she was such a good mom to Paul, Andy and Jordan. She's the type of mom I wanted to be when I had children. After a long pause of silence Kellin finally spoke, his voice was shaky. "W-well y-you see Auriel, we're a lot more similar than I thought. I had a picture perfect life til I was about twelve. I remember the day perfectly. It was a cold, rainy, February day. I walked in from a long day at school with my sister Kailey dragging her feet behind me. My mom was at the kitchen table and her face was down, it was obvious she was crying. Kailey and I were worried at first,but as soon as my mom told me why she was well....crying I just got angry. I yelled and screamed and starting hitting stuff. You see Auriel, my father was my idol in life growing up, and on that rainy February day, I learned that well my dad was....cheating on my mom the entire time."

Kellin was visibly in tears now, I really did understand how he felt though, it's the worst feeling in the world knowing a parent isn't who you thought they were, and it's even worse not having a parent in your life. As much as I hated Cara, I still loved her. After a few seconds he spoke up again, "My dad worked for some big shot corporation, he was always traveling and he was never around really. Turns out half of his traveling was well just him going to Texas to hang out with his other family. I have two brothers that I don't know. I tried talking to my dad again a few years ago, and you know I regret even giving him the time of day. I was taught in church that people change you just have to forgive them and let go but I don't think I can ever let go how he treated me. I told him I was making it big, I was the singer in a band and we were about to start traveling the world and you know what he says? He has the nerve to say that music doesn't pay the bills....he goes wow Kellin maybe I should've moved you down here to Texas with me maybe you would've turned out dfferent. I'm perfectly happy with my life. I love everything I wouldn't change anything Auriel, I mean I hope one day I'll be able to forgive my dad. I pray everyday that maybe some day things will finally work out."

Kellin's face was streaming with tears, his crystal eyes looked sad, tired, and red. I did what I felt was right, I put my arm around him and patted his back and told him everything was going to be ok. "T-thanks Auriel. You know this whole thing with my dad has been fueling me to write songs. We're working on a new album and I'm just taking exerts from my life. I'll give it to you so you can listen to it. But Auriel I have a question, have you ever been well..in love?" I thought for a second. I really have, with Andy I've always been a hundred and ten percent in love with Andrew Glass and I don't think anything could ever really change that hopefully.

After a second I said, "Yeah a few times I thought I was in high school, and there's this guy I've known for a long time. I've always loved him since day one and I have no idea why." Kellin smiled sadly, "well I hope he loves you back Auriel, scratch that I know he loves you back. Tell me about the times you thought you were in love in high school, I have a story that might top it." I smiled, "Well when I was seventeen I met a boy named Tyler. He swept me off of my feet, he told me the sweetest things and just made me feel...happy all the time. I thought we'd be together forever and then one day he's all Auriel let's have sex and you know I always wanted to save myself for someone I truly loved and I was ready. and well....we did it. And after that, he began getting distant from me and he'd talk to me less and less to the point where he completely ignored me and I didn't know if we were officially together or not for the longest time after he ignored me and a week before prom he texted me and he was all I don't love you and it hurt. I took Andy to my prom because I had such short notice to find a date and well I haven't really been open up for love ever since then."

Kellin shook his head, "what a loser, here's my story. I met a girl at seventeen, thought she meant the world to me, so I gave her everything and well...she turned out to be a cheat. Her name was Chiara. Most beautiful girl in my high school, the moment I saw her I knew she had to be mine. It took a lot of work and I tried so hard for Chiara and well then one day she loved me back. And it was great for a long time. When we were eighteen, I proposed I mean it seems stupid now but I thought wow this is something I have to do, I really love this girl. So she said yes, I went all out with the proposal and made everything perfect. Then the wedding came, and honestly I was so happy I haven't really been that happy since that day. We got married in Disney, we eloped nobody supported our marriage everyone said we were crazy and we were but that didn't stop me from marrying her. We were married for about a year when she just walks up to me and she goes look Kellin, I been thinking for long time that maybe this wasn't meant to be. And Auriel, I fought, I fought so hard to get her to realize that we were meant to be and that we were supposed to be married we had to prove everyone wrong and you know....she told me that she found somebody new, that it was over. For a while after that I was depressed. Nineteen years old, divorced and depressed. I thought about just ending my life for a while, I always told myself I'd never be able to love again and then well...then I got some help that I really needed and I've been better ever since but I still haven't been able to well...love. Here and there on the road I'll hook up with girls because well a guy has needs but I haven't had actual feelngs for a person in the long time. I guess I'm married to the music. But what's the deal with you and Andy?"

I don't know what was going on in my head, but I think I was starting to actually care for Kellin, he'd gone through so much in his life. "Well...Kellin I met Andy when I was sixteen at his bands show, Lou's girlfrend Tabby dragged me to it. I didn't even wanna go I was so bored out of my mind and here comes this kid out of no where asking me to listen to his band with this kid that was known as the town slut, Kyle Pavone and they're telling me that they're band is awesome and I'm thinking everything they've ever said was shit......and then Andy barely knows me and he asks me to play Zelda and I thought he was crazy but Tabby convinced me to go and ever since then I guess we've been best friends. I feel so comfortable around him, he always knows how to make me laugh and make me smile and well..he just makes me feel safe. I'm completely myself around him." I smiled. "Yeah?" Kellin said. "Yeah," I replied. Kellin smirked, "Well I hope you know Andy talks about you a lot." I smiled, "really? What does he say?"