This Wasn't Suppose to Happen

As the closing credits rolled, I glanced at Nate. “Ya, so that really makes me want to have a baby”, I said as I hit him with the DVD case. "They looked as traumatized as I feel", I added as I hit him again.

“It was only the water birth that was bad, you’re not popping this thing out in a pool in the middle of the living room are ya?” Nate asked as he hit me back.

“I don’t need to see any of that, I’m prepared for the worse and things are never as bad as I think they are”, I explained.

“Good luck with that J”. Nate took ‘The Backup Plan’ DVD out of the player and placed it back in the case. “We never have any fun anymore”, he said as he flopped back on the couch. “Can’t you just go out with me once?”

I glared at him. “I’m not going to a gay bar with you, I’m pregnant you dork”.

“Janelle, I hate to break it to you, but no one’s looking at you… they’re all looking at me”, Nate stated as he started to move his hips in a circle and do some kind of dance step.

“God Nate, I do not need to see your moves. Fine, we can go on Friday, I will stay for as long as it takes you to drink one drink and then I’m out of there”.

“One dance”, he countered and gave me a wink. I caved. “Okay, one drink and one dance and I’m home in bed before 10”.

“Deal”, we shook on it and Nate stared to pull on his jacket. “You look like you need sleep, I shall see you on Friday my darling”, he said as he air kissed me on each cheek and walked out into the hallway.

Shaking my head, I got up and bolted the door behind him and made my way into my bedroom to enjoy the quiet and catch up on some reading before I fell asleep. I had just climbed into bed and was semi comfortable when the baby started again, it felt like it was doing cartwheels and every now and then you could see my shirt jump from a hand or a foot. Screw the reading, this was so much better than any book. I watched, captivated by what was happening to me. How come no one told you how awesome it was to feel your baby kick for the first time?

That thought brought tears to my eyes as I wished my Mom was here. A Mom was suppose to be there and tell you about all the great things, shop with you, plan with you, cry and laugh with you. I had no female in my life who had already had a child. I was in a foreign country and I was not speaking the language. If only things were different, if I was married, I would at least have a mother in law to talk to. Who could answer my questions?

I was sobbing as the phone rang and figuring it was Nate, I gave a weak hello.

“Janelle? Are you crying?” My sobs stopped and my stomach flopped. That wasn’t Nate’s voice, I glanced down and noticed it was Sid. Shit.

“Oh, ya, watching a sad movie. Gotta love hormones”, I said with a forced laugh.

“Whatcha watching?” Shit, really? Think Janelle, sad movie, sad movie….

“Umm… “ why the hell was nothing coming to my mind? Don’t say the backup plan, don’t say the backup plan…

“Stepmom? Yeah, I’m watching Stepmom”, I said and couldn’t help but mentally pat myself on the back. I had managed to pull that off.

“Never saw it. Anyhow, just wondering how you are”, Sid said as I felt the baby kick again.

“I’m good, actually the baby started kicking tonight”, I told him and couldn’t help the smile that crossed my face.

“What? Are you serious?” he asked and I could hear something in his voice. Was it disappointment?

“Ya, its putting on quite the show. Freaked me out at first but its pretty interesting”, I said as my t-shirt danced again.

There was silence on the other end of the line and for a moment I thought I had lost him. Taking the phone from my ear I glanced at it to ensure we weren’t disconnected. “Do you, I mean would it be okay, maybe I could… do you think I could come and see you when I get back?” he finally spit out and I was shocked.

“You want to come and see me?” I questioned and silently yelled at myself for asking that question.

“I just thought, you know, I could feel the baby kick”, he said and then immediately added, “If that’s okay with you”.

“Of course, just text me to let me know when to expect you”.

“Okay, well take care”, he said in a low voice and I couldn’t help but picture him in a hotel room somewhere on the West Coast of Canada. “You too Sid”, I said as I ended the call. Putting the phone on the night stand, I couldn’t help but think of him somewhere in Western Canada, so far away from what was happening. He never called before; he would usually just text to see if I was okay. Maybe something was up, but I didn’t feel like it was my place to ask something like that.

Lying back against the headboard, I realized that I knew so little about the father of my child. I knew what the internet told me, but I didn’t know the real Sidney. Maybe it was time to find out who he really was… for the baby’s sake of course.