This Wasn't Suppose to Happen

Make it stop, I thought to myself as I bounced on an exercise ball and Olivia rubbed my back. Nate quickly disappeared as soon as Olivia announced that she was going to check and see how dilated I was; claiming that his eyes couldn’t take seeing something like that. I was still bouncing on the ball when he finally returned, dressed in scrubs and looking ready to deliver the baby.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked as I squeezed my eyes shut during another contraction.

“I was told by the lady at the desk that I should be wearing these when the baby is born”, he said with a grin. “Hey J, think I should go to med school? I would make one hot doctor”. Nate turned so I could witness the full effect of the scrubs.

“Oh ya, Nate. By all means, base your career choice on how hot you think you look”, I muttered as Olivia continued to massage my back. “Since you’re dressed for the part, do you think you can at least help me?” I said and he walked over to me. Putting his hands on my shoulders, he bent his head so our foreheads were touching. “Janelle, I love you and I’m here for you but I’m more of a spiritual presence”.

“Spiritual presence? I suggest you turn into a physical presence because in about 30 seconds I’m going to have another contraction and if you don’t start rubbing my back, I’m going to grab one of your hands and I can’t promise that you’ll walk away from this uninjured”.

Nate’s eyes popped and he almost collided with Olivia as he started vigorously rubbing my upper back. “Lower Nate, the baby isn’t coming out of my mouth”, I hissed as another contraction coursed through my body.

“You know I’m better with breathing”, he said as he poked his head around my shoulder trying to see my face.

“Just stop talking”, I said as I started to bounce again. Nate was silent for a moment. “Is there any way I can get a ball too?” he asked Olivia and she wasn’t quite sure what to say. “It just seems like J is having all the fun, I wanna bounce too”, he added. Standing up, I picked up the ball and threw it at his head. “Bounce away”, I said as I grabbed my IV pole and headed back to the bed.

Olivia had just hooked me up to the fetal monitor when the doctor on call entered the room. “Hi folks, my name is Dr. Elli and I’ll be delivering the baby tonight. I hear you’re at 8 cms, so it shouldn’t be too long now”, he said as he took a seat at the end of the bed and began to examine me.

I could hear Nate’s feet as he ran out of the room, no doubt trying to avoid being tainted by what was happening. He reappeared a few moments after, once he made sure that the exam was over with and I was covered with a blanket again. I wasn’t sure how he was going to make it through the delivery.

We were in the process of discussing if I wanted an epidural when the door opened and all eyes turned to see Sid enter. “Excuse me Sir, there is only one allowed in the delivery room. There is a waiting room just around the corner”, Olivia said as she pushed the button to inflate the blood pressure cuff.

Sid ignored the nurse and walked over to me. Dr. Elli cleared his throat, “can I ask that the father stay and the other one wait in the waiting room”.

Sid and Nate glared at each other; I leaned back and put my hands over my eyes. This wasn’t happening, this wasn’t happening; I kept repeating that over and over in my head as if it would change something.

“Who’s the father”, Dr. Elli demanded as Sid and Nate both said “I am”.

Groaning, I removed my hands from my eyes and let out a sigh. Before I had a chance to say anything, Nate walked towards Dr. Elli and started talking. “This man here”, he said with a dramatic wave of his arm towards Sid, “Is merely the sperm donor. He would rather play a game than watch his own child enter the world. I ask of you, dear doctor, does that sound like a father to you?” You wouldn’t know but if Nate was delivering a speech on Broadway.

Dr. Elli looked at Nate with a raised eyebrow, “actor?” he asked. “Gay”, I replied as Sid moved towards Nate. Dr. Elli nodded and turned his attention to Sid and Nate.

“I’m not playing a game, I’m here genius. Who the hell are you anyhow?” Sid demanded as everyone looked at me. Oh ya, I had forgotten they had never met. “Sid, Nate. Nate, Sid”, I said as they both stared each other down.

“I’m not leaving, I refuse to leave. Hell no, I won’t go”, Nate shouted as he paced around the room. Dear lord, kill me now, I didn’t know what to do. Everyone was watching Nate with amused looks on their faces. I was certain that security would be throwing him out on his ass at any second.

“I’m the father, so I’m staying. I’m not leaving”, Sid said and crossed his arms, planting his feet firmly at the foot of my bed.

Someone shoot me, pump me full of drugs, do something, I thought to myself as I watched the circus unfold in front of my eyes.

Dr. Elli finally intervened and Nate stopped his protest. “If you both agree to stay on opposite sides of the bed, I will make an exception and you can both stay. Agreed?”

Nate looked at Sid and Sid scowled at Nate. “Agreed”, they said at the same time and each took a seat next to my head, grabbing a hand. Dr. Elli assured me that I was doing well and left me alone with Olivia and dumb and dumber.

“You know Sid, you are quite handsome, way better than you are on TV”, Nate said suddenly and Sid dropped my hand in shock.

“I can’t do this”, Sid exclaimed as he stood up. “You, you need to go”.

“Me? I didn’t do anything! I was merely complimenting you. You should be so lucky to have me want to jump your bones”, Nate shouted as he jumped up.

“Oh my god! Excuse me, trying to have a baby here”, I yelled and both finally looked in my direction.

“That is it, one of you needs to leave this room immediately”, Olivia shouted as she flung open the door and stood next to it waiting for someone to make the move and exit.

This was humiliating, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Nate started his protest again and Sid started to use the ‘I’m the father and you can’t make me leave’ card. I couldn’t take it anymore. My back was killing me, my stomach felt like it was being ripped apart and right now I felt like I could kill the both of them with my bare hands.

“Get out, get out, get out”, I shouted at the both of them. They looked at me, surprised, and I got up out of bed. “I mean it…out! Out, out, out”, I waddled over to the door pushing my IV stand and started to push the both of them through it. “Don’t you come back until you can act like sensible people. You’re worse than 2 year olds”. Olivia moved aside and I slammed the door in their surprised faces.

“Sorry”, I muttered to Olivia as I made my way back to the bed, “I just couldn’t put up with them for another minute longer”.

“That was awesome”, Olivia replied as she checked my blood pressure and gave me a wink. I had to admit, it felt pretty damn awesome; the only downside was I missed having something to concentrate on, my body was very well aware of what was happening now that the room was quiet.

“Owwww, okay, I changed my mind, give me drugs!” I yelled as another contraction left me breathless. It was getting harder and harder to breathe through the pain. “Give me massive quantities of drugs, give me as much drugs as you possibly can and when you think it’s too much… give me more.” The boys were back after a 15 minute recess and both were settled on either side of my head, unfortunately for me, while the pain from the contractions had intensified, I was still stuck at 8 cms and were in a waiting game.

“Janelle, come on, you can do this. You don’t need drugs”, Sid said as he patted my head. I swatted his hand away.

“When you are pushing a baby out of your ass, then you can opt for the no drug route…. Right now, the baby is still in my body so I get the final say on this”. I was hot, tired and in pain. I shot him the hardest look I could muster, hoping that it gave the ‘Don’t mess with me’ message. It must have worked because Sid slumped into the chair, “okay, fine”.

“When is the baby going to come?” Sid whined as he stood to look out the window. “I’ve been here all night, I have practice in a few hours”, he added as he turned back towards me.

“By all means go to your practice, I’m so sorry that I’m inconveniencing you”, I said sarcastically as I fought the urge to punch him in the face.

“Dude, she’s like having your kid right now”, Nate said as he lazily looked up from his phone before Sid’s death glare sent him right back to looking down. Sid continued to look out the window; the muscles in his neck bulged showing that he was as tense as could be.

This was just great, the baby didn’t want to come out, I had 2 guys who only hours ago were fighting over who was able to stay in the room and help me and now each one of them was occupied with something other than me and the baby. Somehow, this just didn’t seem right.