This Wasn't Suppose to Happen

“Breathe, that’s it Janelle! In and out, in and out”, Sid was acting out the motions of breathing as if I’d never done it before “Dude, she knows how to breathe”, Nate snapped and Sid ignored him, “in and out, in and out”, he continued as he over exaggerated the motions of breathing.

“Sid…. Shut up!!” I yelled as Nate pushed a video camera in my face. “That’s right J, give me some emotion”, Nate said before I yanked the video camera out of his hands. Unfortunately I failed to realize that the camera was on a cord around his neck so he half fell on top of me, face first into my chest.

“Oh my god, oh my god, I’m tainted for life”, he exclaimed as he quickly got up off me and ran over to the hand sanitizer. “Can I use this on my face?” he asked as everyone rolled their eyes.

“Can’t we just for one moment focus on what is happening here?” Dr. Elli asked as he ignored Nate and looked at me. “Come on Janelle. I see the head, give me another big push”, Dr. Elli said and Sid moved towards the foot of the bed.

“What are you doing?” I asked him and momentarily forgot what I was doing.

“I’m going to see the baby enter the world”, he said.

“Oh no you don’t buddy! Get away from my vajayjay”, I yelled as Nate dissolved into hysterics.

“Get away from what?” Sid asked with a shocked look on his face.

“Her girl parts, she don’t want you down there. I don’t know why you’d want to go down there anyhow. It’s hard enough up here”, Nate said as I squeezed his hand so hard that he squirmed to get out of my hold.

“Ow J, that’s my hand you’re breaking”, Nate whined as I gave him a light lip smirk.

“Why does this feel like comedy hour?” Olivia asked as she laid a blanket across my chest. “Welcome. To. My. World.” I managed to get out in between the deep breathing and pain.

“Janelle, we need you to focus”, Dr. Elli said and I snapped back to reality. It was time to get this baby out and into the world. A few more pushes later, I heard crying and flopped against the pillows. I was beyond exhausted.

“It’s a girl”, Dr. Elli exclaimed as he lifted the baby for me to see and Olivia placed her on my chest. I couldn’t believe it, she was here. I had done it, I looked down at the tiny baby resting on me and I couldn’t believe the flood of emotions that came over me.

Sid and Nate were both quiet, a look of concentration etched on their faces. “You could at least act a little bit happy”, I snapped and they looked at me.

“Sorry, I just thought for sure it was going to be a boy”, Sid said as he looked at the baby. “You know, a little Sid”.

“Ya, I thought it would be a mini Nate. How am I going to help raise a girl?” Nate asked as Sid turned to glare at him.

“Why the hell would my baby be a mini you? What are you even doing here?” Sid asked through clinched teeth.

“Sidney, it’s time for you to cut the cord”, Dr. Elli said, interrupting what would probably turn into another full blown fight between the two of them.

After the baby was cleaned up, weighed and measured; Olivia grinned and turned to face us. “Who’s next?” she asked as Sid and Nate both stepped forward. “I’m the father”, Sid said as Nate elbowed him. “I’m the Gunkle”, Nate said as Sid tried to step past him.

“You’re what?” Sid asked as he reached his hands out for Olivia to hand him the baby. “The gay uncle, don’t you watch TV?” Nate said as he shoved Sid aside and Olivia put the baby into his arms.

“Would you shut the hell up?” Sid snapped as he strolled over to the door and slammed it behind him.

“Way to go Nate”, I muttered as I leaned back against the pillow. This experience was like a nightmare that I couldn’t escape,

“Just wait until you tell him what you’re going to call her”, Nate said as he touched his nose to the baby’s.

“Don’t remind me”, I said softly as my eyes started to close.