Marvelous Misadventures

It was yet another mundane day in Las Noches. Aizen was sitting on his throne whining and bitching about something, while his bitch curl lay in a doggy bed next to said throne and snored. His 'wife' Byakuya was in his lap, attempting to read the latest edition of Pet Shop Of Horrors. And failing because Aizen was yelling too loudly. Gin was off somewhere making someone feel like they were being visually raped. Wonderweiss was running around without any pants. Tosen was chasing after him, and finally caught up to hm in the middle of the throne room. Aizen and Byakuya looked up with some surprise. "Wonderweiss, put on your pants." Tosen said, holding said garment out to the mentally challenged Arrancar.

"No wanna!" Wonderweiss said, pouting. "Why not?" Tosen asked, exasperated. His young charge was currently running around Las Noches naked from the waist down, and mentally scarring everyone there for life. "Wedgie!" Wonderweiss screeched, throwing his arms into the air and flapping them like a bird. "These are not going to give you a wedgie, Wonderweiss, as wedgies are unjust. So put them on! Tosen said, trying not to lose his cool. Stay cool. Just like Ice Cube. In the name of justice. He thought. "No!" Wonderweiss said again.

"It is unjust to run around with your ass hanging out, you're not a hooker or a prostitute, nor are you an exotic dancer. And those are occupations lacking in justice. So in the name of justice, put these pants ON!" Tosen yelled running towards Wonderweiss, who departed from the throne room, arse still out. Aizen sighed, and started yelling about how Wonderweiss were going to become a whore if he kept showing his ass of at such a young age. Byakuya sighed and went back to his manga.

Somewhere else in Las Noches, Starrk was sleeping his lazy arse off. As usual. He was in a room completely filled with pillows. There wasn't even any beds, just rather huge pillows. Lilynette was bored, and couldn't get Starrk to wake up for some reason. Today, he was just being particularly lazy. She wandered off into the halls of Las Noches determined to find something to entertain herself with. After all, she was the sword release of the Primera Espada, and she shouldn't be bored.

Barragan was sitting in his room, ordering his Fraccion around, as he was just being a lousy old geezer. What a waste of space and time. The geriactric old being was currently sitting on a rather cushy old armchair, whining how his soup was too cold. "Ggio! Warm this lousy waste of space up for me! It's too cold, dagnabit!" he yelled out, waving his bowl of soup around, nearly spilling half of it all over his surroundings. Ggio was pissed at having to do everything for this lousy assed old geezer, so he simply ran the spoon under some boiling water and give the soup and it's spoon back to the old fart. Said old fart put the spoon full of soup in his mouth, only to spit it out, covering the floor in more soup. "Ggio! This soup it too hot! The blasted thing burnt my tongue! And clean up that dagnabbed soup all over the floor! Are you young whippersnappers blind? Can't you see there's soup spilled here?" He yelled. Ggio sighed. This was going to be one long arsed day...night...whatever time frame they use in Las Noches and Hueco Mundo.

Harribel was currently scouring Las Noches. She was looking for her bras. She sent out 5 of them with her dirty laundry to be washed. Not a single one of them had returned. Needless to say, she was pissed. Every time she did her laundry, her underwear and bras went missing. Sometimes, they were replaced with rather lewd lingerie. Sometimes, the lewd articles of clothing were simply added into her laundry. But this just pissed her off. She couldn't do her own laundry without her poor undies being harassed. And she had a very good idea who was behind this. The Quinta, the resident pervert of Las Noches, Nnoitra.

Ulquiorra, the Cuatro, was currently sitting in his room, listening to Hawthorne Heights and writing suicide letters. Our beloved emospada was actually sad that nobody in Las Noches seemed to like him, besides Gin and Nnoitra, who only seemed to want to extract sexual favors out of him. Aizen himself only seemed to see Ulquiorra as the perfect little obedient lap-dog, who was to be abandoned the moment that he lost his favor. So he sat in his room, listening to depressing songs, and writing suicide letters and bad poetry. His latest one was how his heart was like his left sock which was like a tree branch that was crapped on by a bird.

The resident pervert of Las Noches was down in Szayel's lab, begging the Octavo to suck him off or make him a puppy of both. The Octavo, however, was in the middle of an experiment, and after constant badgering, finally said, "Nnoitra, save your breathe for your inflatable date." This only earned him the rapist grin and a "What if I don't wanna?" Szayel sighed, and raised his scalpel warningly. "Then I'll perform an autopsy on you. While you're alive." He said. "Listen to him bro. He's serious." Ylfordt said from where he sat in his corner reading a magazine, and he popped his gum annoyingly loud like a cow every 2 seconds.

Grimmjow was in his room adding to his list of insults and curse words. So far, the newest ones he had acquired were from Vennession, who happened to use the British curses, which left the Sexta with a most interesting set of new additions. Some were mixed with the normal slang words. This meant that he was left with some colorful new language, among them, 'bloody-fucking' (from where he had tried to say that normal people used fucking, instead of bloody, but she'd put them together.), 'arse-over-tit', 'cheesed off', and 'bag of douche' (Courtesy of Haruhi constantly refering to Ichigo as that.) So all in all, he was practicing his new potty mouth for the next Espada meeting.

Zommari was sitting in his room, burning incense, and meditating. He was listening to the Beatles, peaceful music, to get him into the 'love peace and chicken grease' mood. Just then, Wonderweiss walked in, still sans pants. Without caring that the young Arrancar was without pants, he said, "Come on, take a seat and say it with me. Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!" Wonderweiss just looked at him like he was high. Knowing the Seventh, he probably was. So Wonderweiss just sat there and stared at the meditating guy.

The Novena was playing with his weather machine, and arguing with himself. Having two heads really wasn't conductive to anything. The upper head wanted rain, and the bottom wanted sunshine. This left the weather in Hueco Mundo changing. Every two bloody-fucking minutes! Rainy sunny rainy sunny rainy sunny. Never ended. This was the price to pay when this guy had two heads, two personalities, and only one person.

The Decima was currently in the kitchen, stinking it up, and scenting it with Eau de Armpit, while eating a shitload of food which Nnoitra had cooked only the night before. The house elves were scurrying around trying to avoid tripping over the food everywhere, or collapsing from the horrid scent of foot down at their rather short level. It was rather stink, might I add. Dobby was running around, bony fingers covering his tiny nose, and muttering, "Aizen-sama would not like foot-scented kitchen. Dobby not wanting to smell like feet!"

Finally, Lilynette wandered into Haruhi and Vennession. "I'm bored! Stark won't wake up and I have nothing to do!" she said, flopping down into a chair. "I wanna see yaoi!" Haruhi shouted randomly. "Guys..." Vennession said. "Yeah. Some steamin hot yaoi! With Grimmjow and Ulquiorra." Haruhi continued on. "Guys!" Vennession yelled. "What?" Haruhi and Lilynette asked, aggravated. "I have the perfect plan to alleviate boredom!" Vennession squeed happily. "Yaoi?" The mini-Aizen asked. "Nope. But it's still bloody good. Follow me." her sister said, before walking out of the room. The remaining two did so, exchanging confused looks.

Back in Szayels lab, music started pouring over the speakers. It was Love Rhymes With Fuck You by Jeffree Star, another pink haired man who was often mistaken for a woman. "Fuck yeah!" Szayel and Ylfordt shouted at the same time, and started to dance. They looked rather ridiculous, but they didn't give a fuck. Nnoitra stood there staring with a WTF expression on his face. Then, the song became more raunchy. Szayel started dancing like a whore. Nnoitra ran out of there, screaming in a high pitched voice and flailing his arms. The brothers paused and looked at each other, before shrugging. Then, the song became even more explicit. Szayel was now stripping and attempting to rub himself up on his brother. The of course, creeped Ylfordt out. He did the same as Nnoitra did less than a minute before.

In the throne room, Nnoitra crashed through the wall. "Not again Nnoitra!" Aizen yelled from where he sat. Byakuya looked up with a pissed off expression. After all, he was interrupted from his reading yet again. "What is it?" Aizen asked, but all Nnoitra did was flap his arms and mutter incoherent, fragments of words. Ylfordt crashed through a moment later and did the same thing. "What the hell is going on here?" Aizen yelled. "Szayel! Dancing like a hoe!" Ylfordt yelled, beforeboth he and nnoitra collapsed.

Back in Gin's control room, the three girls were falling over themselves, laughing so hard that they were holding their sides, and hardly able to catch thier breath. "I... Didn't think t-that Szayel would do that!" Lilynette gasped out, giggling. "Me either!" Vennession said. She was trying to hold back a nosebleed while she was cracking up. Next to her, Haruhi was doing the same, "Not Yaoi, but good!" she said. "And best of all, it's videotaped! Which means we can show it at the Espada meeting!" Lilynette said, laughing like a maniac. Ah, this would be fun.